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Eat Big, Play Big – Merry Khaos Notes

If you were in my “EAT BIG/PLAY BIG” class at Beat Me Halfway, you know we jumped around a little bit. This is not going to be a thorough explanation of the notes nearly as much as a bullet point list of what we covered. For more information, explanation, or to work with me on your nutrition plan, message me at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com

I will remind you that I’m not going into all the biochemistry of this. You don’t care about it anyway, you just want to know the what and the basic why. So this is like 1st grade chemistry when we are told “This is how it is!” and then in high school they say “Yea, ok BASICALLY that’s how it is, but it’s actually more like THIS.” So keep that in mind.

The 5 ‘Pillars’ of Athlete nutrition
– Calorie Count
– Metabolism
– Protein
– Water
– Vitamins

You must eat for YOUR goals. Roller derby is a contact sport, and a high energy one.  You should not be designing your food plan in order to meet society’s view of beauty. If your personal situation demands weight loss, then eat for weight loss. If you already are low body fat percentage, then don’t obsess over six pack abs, worry about your strength and progress instead.

I am going to focus on strength and athletic performance, not ‘weight loss’. Note – if you eat for sports performance and pair it with a proper training program, chances are you will lean out anyway. So it’s a win win.

METABOLISM

Basic idea: your metabolism is your energy mechanism and how your body gets vitamins distributed around the body. So if the metabolism slows, then your body can’t burn as effectively or get the vitamins you eat around to the places it needs to get to.

We keep the metabolism running by eating. Your body is like a bonfire. If you stop feeding the fire, it dies. If you stop feeding your body, the metabolism slows to a crawl. Think of simple carbs (like bread, sugar, rice) as newspaper, leafy greens as large branches, and proteins as giant logs of oak.

If you are doing heavy lifting (which we all should be doing) you can and should eat more simple carbs than someone who is primarily doing cardio.

CALORIE COUNT

You’re not eating enough. I’m making this judgment call based on the fact that you were interested enough in this topic to read. But chances are: you’re not eating enough.

How much should you be eating? Step one is to find out your “RMR” (Resting Metabolic Rate). There is a big long equation that you can google or go to my favorite cheat sheet right here!

To make it easier for you, I went and did some EXTRA research to see if I could find something a little more uniform. What I found they most for athletes that participate in an intense training routine:

MEN: 23 – 30 calories per pound of body weight
WOMEN: 19 – 25 calories per pound of body weight

If you are weight lifting at least twice a week with heavy weights, you should be at the higher end of the spectrum. On your rest days, go on the lower end of the spectrum.

If you’re eating 3000 calories a day, you should be breaking down your calories into many meals and snacks, not trying to eat three 1000 calories meals each day. If you plan out six meals, that means 500 calories per meal! These can be protein shakes, full ‘classic’ meals, bars, snacks, etc.

How do you know what to eat to hit that intake? Here’s a quick cheat:

1g of Protein = 4 calories
1g of Carbs = 4 calories
1g of Fat = 9 calories

I like to give myself a range, so I’m 150# right now. That means I should be eating between 3000 and 3400 calories. (Which means even I haven’t been eating enough!) Giving yourself just a ceiling can cause you to not hit a minimum. I’d rather you say “I’m going to eat at LEAST __________” as opposed to “I can’t eat more than ________”.

THE DIRTY BULK

Here’s where it comes in. We talked about “The Dirty Bulk” – the time where you just eat whatever you want (primarily brownies and fast food) and then you get ‘huge and strong’. Guess what? It kind of works in the temporary, but not for long term results, and not for what we are focused on. If you are a strict powerlifter, a dirty bulk is appealing. You don’t have to be strict on what you’re eating, you can stuff your face, you get big, you pull big numbers.

Powerlifters don’t have to try and catch The Smacktivist on wheels occasionally. Powerlifters don’t have to be as quick as Gnat King Kill. Powerlifters don’t have to out skate Mercy.

For roller derby skaters (and any athlete that treasures their cardio health), the dirty bulk packs on fat, cholesterol, and poundage that weighs you down instead of pushing you forward. There are times you could dirty bulk (a true offseason), but you would have to counter it with a very specific, strict period of eating afterwards.

Should-I-Dirty-Bulk

PROTEIN

We are made of protein. If you do not give your body protein, you cannot build muscle. You cannot repair or create new cells with optimal performance. If you don’t give your body protein to burn during competition and training, your body will burn the protein it can find – your muscles.

Is your hair thin, skin flakey, nails weak? Part of your problem could be a lack of protein.

Here’s your easy equation: Athletes need to eat 1g of protein per 1 pound of body weight.

Eating more will certainly not hurt you!

Because protein is the biggest piece of your caloric puzzle, you want to calculate that first! I’m 150# … I want to eat between 150 and 175g of protein per day. So that means 600-700 calories of my day come from protein. BAM. Now I know that about 2300-2700 calories have to come from carbohydrates and good fats.

Side Note: Good Fats = mono- and poly- non-saturated fats. Nuts, avocados, beans, etc.

BULKING MYTH

Ok, so something I hear all the time is “But Khaos, I don’t want to get big”. Guess what? You have to be super super dedicated for many many years to get big and bulky (especially women). You know what actually happens when you increase your calories and you start weight lifting and doing a hefty training routine? You lean the hell out. Your body takes the fat on your body and makes it into muscle.

Srsly. Your body needs fat to make muscle. It’s part of the process. So don’t worry about the “I’m going to get big”. You may gain some weight at first, but keep with it! A year from now you will look like a different person.

Not eating protein, not lifting weights because “I’m going to become a bodybuilder” is like not driving a car because “I’m going to become a Nascar driver” … it just doesn’t happen that way.

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SOY MYTHS

Yes, there are some studies out there that say that soy is bad. However, there are just as many studies that say that you would have to eat SO MUCH SOY to get those effects that … well… I hope you have stock investments in Silk. I can show you photos of men and women who have been consuming soy protein as part of their meal replacements and snacks (edamame!) on a daily basis for a long time and they do not have extra fat. They do not have breast cancers. Coincidence SHOULD NOT imply correlation. If you’re allergic to soy, don’t eat soy. If your doctor tells you not to eat soy because ‘it’s bad’ then … well…

DOCTORS AREN’T NUTRITIONISTS SO HE PROBABLY GOT HIS INFO FROM THE TV.

WATER

We are 70% water. If we do not give ourselves enough water, our body will not have anything to use for…

Cell creation processes, our joints, our brains, our endocrine system, our blood, to flush out extra stuff in our digestive tracks, etc etc

Have you ever gone to practice and you tell your feet to do things and there is some kind of disconnect? You can usually do the things, but you just feel like there’s a lag? Could be dehydration.

Here’s your equation for athletes:

75% x body weight = Ounces of water to drink daily

A gallon of water is 128oz of water.

If you are more than 170# this means you must drink more than a gallon of water per day. If you have never drank that much before, and are super nervous about doing so, go to the grocery store. Buy 7 gallon jugs. Label with a day of the week. That’s your water for that day.

You will hate me for the first few days. Your body won’t know what to do with the extra water you’re taking in. KEEP AT IT! The water you drink today hydrates you a few days from now. You have to keep going.

urine_color_chart

WATER DROWNING MYTH

Ok, here’s the time of the day where people send me nasty messages about ‘not needing that much water’. When it comes down to it, I don’t know the exact, precise number of ounces my body needs from day to day. It could be 87.7oz. Do I get water from the veg I eat? Sure. But guess what? It’s easier to just drink my gallon a day and be done with it than to overanalyze and hope that I got enough in that day.

To think that every person can drink eight 8oz glasses of water and be good is silly. My body needs less water than Spectral Abyrration. He’s a dude. He’s bigger than me. For us to use ANY of the same measures for nutrition is odd.

ALCOHOL

Sorry guys. Alcohol is bad for you. No matter how you try and frame it. Is there carbs in a beer that are great for recovery post bout? Yes. But there’s also ALCOHOL. And that saps your body of water and vitamins. The negative outweigh the positive. Subscribe to my blog, I’m going to be rebooting my article about this pretty soon.

VITAMINS

Vitamins are what your body uses to create new cells. They are molecules that your body needs to initiate certain processes. Most vitamins and nutrients cannot be made by your body, your body cannot hold onto vitamins, and your body needs them throughout the day.

So moral of the story? You need vitamins all the time.

Why take a multivitamin? Mostly because we have such high vitamin needs as athletes (think of all those chemical processes going on in your body ANYWAY – then add all that training in? Your body is a madhouse of cell creation), that eating your vitamins through food sources only is damn near impossible. Considering that our food supply is much less nutrient dense than it used to be due to over-farming, picking before ripeness, and shipping long distance.

You can argue with me if you want, but seriously, it’s true. You can tell me that you “eat frozen, and buy local, and do all the things that make me wrong”, but guess what? Still not as nutrient dense. Sorry. And again, if you can take a multi and cover the gaps in your vitamins that you may not know you had: Why wouldn’t you?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t analyze myself for vitamin and nutrient intake through bloodwork daily. I’d rather just take my multi 3x a day, eat veggies, drink properly balanced meal replacement shakes, and not have to worry about it.

Yes. 3x a day. If your multi is one a day, you need to change multis.

WHAT YOU’RE EATING

So supplements are exactly that – supplements. You should build your whole foods, healthy diet and then fill in the gaps of what you’re missing with your supps. Some basics that I make sure I have?

Multivitamin, Meal Replacement shake (it’s an easy snack), my Cell Activator keeps my digestive track healthy and happy, pre-workout, post-workout, 24 Hydrate is my electrolyte supplement, and my fish oil/heart health for injury recovery (mine is flavored with vanilla so I don’t get fish burps).

Otherwise, my food involves a lot of rice, eggs, pasteurized egg whites (for protein shakes), PB2 (also for shakes), black bean pasta, all the veggies, chicken, ground turkey, wheat pasta….

I eat the same things all the time. MAKE A PLAN. Make a plan and know what you’re eating every day.

If you don’t make a plan, then you won’t know what you’re eating at 3p, which means when that time rolls around and you’re hungry – you’ll grab whatever you can. If you know on Sunday that at 3p Wednesday you are eating a protein bar, you better believe you’ll have that protein bar in your desk at work.

Also, this allows you to meal prep! Take a couple hours at the beginning of the week to pre-make and pre-portion all of your meals… or at least everything that you need to take with you.

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You know what else this does? It gives you a very specific grocery list. Now you will be saving money because you’re not grabbing everything that sounds kind of appealing. You will buy what it is on your list.

Get with me to talk about pre- and post-workout shakes, but in the meantime… what I like to do is eat a meal about 2 hours before training, and then something small right before I train. After, I get 24g of protein RIGHT AWAY (you have a 45 minute “window of opportunity”) and then eat a meal within 2 hours.

One of my favorite shakes right now!
One of my favorite shakes right now! Great after a workout.

GMO TALK

Here’s the point where I start making friends. We talked about GMOs during the clinic. First of all, only about 3 people knew what the O in GMO stands for: “Genetically Modified Organism”.

Here’s what’s up people: We are not pulling a Jurassic Park on our food sources. We have been selectively choosing strains of fruits and veg to replant since the start of farming. Are there some foods that have been tweaked in a lab? Yes. But guess what… natural selection and our own farming practices have made EVERY FOOD SOURCE genetically modified.

I have two apples. One apple is SUPER JUICY but is kind of small and not perfectly red. The other apple has that perfect apple shape, and is much larger, but doesn’t taste as good. Guess what? The larger, perfect apple sells better! WOOT! MONEY! We’re going to replant the apple that people BUY.

The small apple does not get another growing season. The large apple does. BOOM. GMO.

ORGANIC SOAPBOX

This is the other place I make friends.

Organic is just a label that farms buy. There are a lot of things about “organic” that you may not think about … like the fact that arsenic is on the approved list (it’s natural!), or that runoff from the farm next door is common. So just because your big farm doesn’t spray that specific pesticide on your green pepper, doesn’t mean that the neighbors don’t use that pesticide on their apples… which wash off in rain. And get on your peppers through water transfer.

Also, just because it says organic, it doesn’t make it healthy. A lot of big farms have hopped on the “organic” bandwagon because they charge a lot more for [essentially] the same veg.

Want to know what you’re buying? BUY LOCAL! Go to farmers markets, become a part of a CSA. Research other labels, like “Food Alliance Certified”. Talk to the people growing your food. Or [gasp] start growing some of your own. Not all of us have the space for it, but there’s something rad about never-ending kale and tomatoes from your backyard.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Ok! So that’s the gist of things. I can help you create a specific plan based on ALL the things. I personally use Derbalife products, but that’s me. If you wanted to hop on Skype and talk about YOUR training plan, and YOUR nutrition, than let’s do it!! Drop me a line at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com or send me a message on Skype at KMGrey.

There is a little bit of trial and error involved in nutrition. Even the days when you’re “bad” you’re probably not doing THAT bad. I also incorporate nutrition in my in person coaching, so if your derby/football/soccer/softball/any other sport team is looking for classes, training, nutrition – let’s get it set up!! Let’s do it!!

You can also visit my website to check out Herbalife at http://www.GoHerbalife.com/K.grey and do some research at http://www.Herbalife24.com for our sport line (we have so many Elite Athletes on our list that it’s insane).

Eating well makes you strong! Just ask my buddy, Pixie Panzer of Harrisburg Area Roller Derby! <3
Eating well makes you strong! Just ask my buddy, Pixie Panzer of Harrisburg Area Roller Derby! ❤
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2014 MRDA Champs Preview: #3 New York Shock Exchange

Our goal is to win every game we play.  Keep it simple, sexy. – Jonathan R

nyse

And New York Shock Exchange is making a good case that they’re going to do exactly that at Champs this weekend. As one of the oldest leagues in the world, and the first champions of the MRDA, NYSE has a long tradition of work ethic and dominance. Coming into Champs with a full, healthy roster (and a fire in their eyes from dropping to the #3 ranking) means that NYSE is going to battle every team like it’s the final.

Being an East Coast girl, I’m pretty familiar with the men of NYSE. Their friendly rivalry with Mass Maelstrom is the best we have seen in MRDA the Northeast. Getting the opportunity to go to Coney Island and see the evolution of NYSE over the years has been awesome.

At ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw - Prints Charming Photography
Buster Cheatin takes away Cilantro’s momentum at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Photography

Part of why [I think] Shock Exchange has continued having success while other founding MDC (Men’s Derby Coalition) teams have dropped to the wayside is not just the fact that they have access to an enormous metropolitan area’s worth of skaters or that they have Gotham Girls as their Big Sisters. It’s that the coaching staff has remained open minded about new strategies and training opportunities, while the skaters themselves continually re-dedicate themselves to the goals of the team. NYSE has always been on the forefront of new strategy and pushing the boundaries of what their sheer amount of skill can do. When I asked captain (and Team USA skater) Jonathan R why he thinks Shock has remained at the top, he had a very similar idea:

We have a continuous drive to be better and push beyond barriers.  This is exemplified in our commitment to having regular practices in perpetuity as we seek out new ideas.

That being said, NYSE has had [in the past] the same kind of problem that Puget Sound has. The older teams have a style of gameplay that can only be labeled “SuperStar”. NYSE, in the past, has simply been more talented on their wheels than their opponents. NYSE would rely on their jammers to do all the work, and their blockers would spread out, take swings and make huge hits (with a high rate of success) and it was enough to win.

KenboSlice goes toe to toe with Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
KenboSlice goes toe to toe with Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.

As other teams have started closing the gap in the last couple years, NYSE’s style has shifted. You still see shadows of the SuperStar play, but now you have power blockers like Buster Cheatin’ and Chris Szabo pulling the team together into walls. Walls which thwarted Mass Maelstrom by a significant amount both times they met this season; Walls that saved them against the Bridgetown Menace at RollerCon.

Shock’s style of teamwork in a pack is a bit unique to other teams (again, more similar to Puget). While they work together, and move as one fluid unit, they don’t have the contact with each other that other teams do. When watching Southern Discomfort (for example), the men link to teammates until engagement begins. While NYSE always clusters near each other, the links are never as prominent (I have noticed). The downside is their partner may be slightly further than desirable, the positive is that it saves them on the multi player blocks, forearms, and high blocks that plague many Top 8 teams. Plus, the skill and awareness of the skaters let them get away with this kind of ‘dropped arms’ linkage to one another.

NYSE sticks close to contain WildStyle of The Replacements at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
NYSE sticks close to contain WildStyle of The Replacements at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.

We shall see what happens at Champs with this. Mass Maelstrom is coming in with a bit of a chip on their shoulder and are focused on squarely and definitively beating NYSE. Their fluid diamonds and tight packs could be trouble for NYSE. If NYSE wins, they will square off against Southern Discomfort or the GakeKeepers. GK was the only loss of the year for Shock, while Shock was the only top 4 team that So Disco didn’t skate against when they came across the pond in the spring. All teams that face NYSE really have one thing to worry about if they want a shot at winning: NEUTRALIZE THEIR JAMMERS.

Particularly Jonathan R and Carnage Asada. Based on what I saw at RollerCon, they better keep a tight beat on I A M Havoc as well.

Jonathan R does not let physics restrain him at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw - Prints Charming Derby Photography
Jonathan R does not let physics restrain him at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography

I don’t even know how to explain how good Jonathan R is. It almost makes me mad when I watch him skate because I can’t wrap my head around how his simple, concise moves can translate into COMPLETE OBLITERATION OF THE DEFENSE. The man rarely looks like he’s even working. He is fluid, has complete control over physics (he may be a Time Lord), and even when he’s making RollerCon look like a CSI crime scene – the man is smiling and cheering on his team.

Carnage Asada doesn’t have the same ease to his skating that Jonathan R does. Highly effective with long legs and toe stop action to die for, Carnage’s plan is to make you over commit on your hit. He is patient and quick, breaking down a line one by one. Defenses are constantly having to shift from long fluid blocks and holds to contain Jonathan R, to the staccato speed of Asada. It makes them lose their rhythm. It simply works.

Carnage Asada does his thing at Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
Carnage Asada does his thing at Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.

Havoc is up and coming for sure. A new Shocker, Havoc had been on the Dow Jones average to develop is skills. If Carnage and Jonathan had a jamming love baby – it would be Havoc. No, seriously – don’t make that face at me. Havoc has fluidity in his ducks and jukes, but can stop on a dime and use lateral motion to throw off the opposition. Still adjusting to the speed of the game, Havoc hasn’t always had success against teams, but in the GateKeepers bout at RollerCon the entire crowd got to see him Level Up.

The slippery minx that is I A M Havoc at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
The slippery minx that is I A M Havoc at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.

In fact, I would say all of the NYSE rolled over experience point to gain a level during that GK bout. I’m going to say the thing that everyone has been thinking and whispering but no one has said in a public forum before: NYSE, in the past, has relied too heavily on jamming skill. Particularly Jonathan R’s magic feet. When he suffered a nose bleed at RC, the GK’s score steadily rose, Shock looked a bit lost without their fearless leader. But then they figured it out. Then, the entire bench of Shock had this moment where every single skater stepped up and made adjustments and did whatever they had to for success.  Every jammer that was a secondary brought their game to the level that Shock needed it to be.

NYSE works as a team against Bridgetown Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
NYSE works as a team against Bridgetown Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.

If that team shows up for Champs? If Shock Exchange has maintained that level of “We need to do this as a team, we can’t rely on our jammers alone” – there is no question in my mind that they will smash through the first two rounds of their bracket while barely breaking a sweat. If they don’t work as a team, if they allow Maelstrom’s blockers to dominate in offense and defense, NYSE is going to have a hard bout ahead of them.

Teamwork at the GateKeepers at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
Teamwork at the GateKeepers at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.

Regardless, Shock is coming to play and I have a feeling we all are in for some amazing hard-hitting, strategy-driven, blow-your-mind roller derby.

Make sure you check out Shock Exchange’s Facebook to keep up with all the awesomeness that they have happening. The Dow Jones Average, NYSE’s B-team, is in the middle of an UNDEFEATED season! If you can get to a bout, you need to. Also, NYSE is raising money for SHOCK DOWN UNDER!!! They’re going on a tour of Australia with bouts and clinics on the docket, and they need a little help getting there. The FB has all the details and how you can support the strengthening of Men’s Roller Derby around the globe! Get hooked up with some rad NYSE merch at their online store.

PS Check out the NYSE v Maelstrom match-up on WFTDA.tv at 1p PST on Saturday at the MRDA Championships. Thank you to Brangwyn Jones, Tyler Shaw, and Hispanic Attack for the photos in this blog!

Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
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2014 MRDA Champs: #4 Puget Sound Outcast Derby

You cannot ignore Puget Sound Outcast Derby. Mostly because their uniforms demand your attention, but also because that jersey is probably going by you at Mock 5.

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The Outcasts are a team of World Class level roller sport athletes that have come together for the love of derby. Ball and cane, speed skating, hockey, artistic, aggressive inline, downhill racing – these are all the sports (and I may have missed some) that the men of Puget Sound have competed in. When you watch them play, you can’t help but notice their sheer skating talent and balance; they do not fall. They are hard to push out of bounds. They are hard to out skate.

Puget 5

The longest-establish West Coast men’s derby team, Puget Sound is no stranger to the Championship tournament. They have qualified for Champs each year (and even finished #2 in 2011 against New York Shock Exchange), and plan on making a rise above their #4 seeding by the end of this weekend. As host of the tournament, Puget Sound seems to be trembling with excitement to show the world that they have been focusing on their weaknesses and developing game plans for each opponent they face.

Puget 1

In the past, Puget has seemed to rely on their straight-up talent to win their bouts. They are so much fun to watch, but when I have seen them play (Mohawk Valley Cup in 2013 and then streaming at Champs), I have noticed a ‘superstar’ style of play. They have relied less on walls and tightly-bound defense, and more on big, driving hits, pulling cut tracks, quick bursts of speed, and out-skating the opposition in the past. To continue to dominate, Puget knows they must shift into a team-based style of play.

Puget 4

Scott Slamilton’s artistic background make him nearly impossible to capture. Blockers like Bonus Jonas and Dilly Dally are small and unassuming to look at, but their agility on wheels only enhances their ability to pop into larger opponents to stop or redirect an opponent’s momentum. (small blockers – watch these two this weekend. Take notes. Learn things.) With such a variety of sizes on the bench, Puget can really tailor their lines to take on individual jammers to play to strengths. Need pure power and size? Put out Big Bill and Radiallac. Need stronger walls and communication? Put out Quadzilla, Low Rider, and Thunderstruck. If you need blockers who can chase and re-capture a wiley jammer, you put out Cory Pain and Chuck Hendrick.

Puget 2

In the first round of play this weekend, Puget Sound gets to face their little brother, Bridgetown Menace. Bridgetown has been steadily closing the point gap between PSOD and themselves each time they play. Puget needs to focus on communication and containment against Menace if they want to continue their winning streak. Both teams are very fast and very sharp, neither waste energy in their hits or skating. No more can Puget rely on being a team of simply more talented skaters. Menace is coming in with a point to prove, and Puget Sound has an opportunity to show that they have learned from their past match-ups. Puget has a chance to finally solidify being a collective team of insanely talented skaters that know how to read each other and trust each other. Puget has a chance to show the world that they are here not just to play. They have a chance, and a desire to walk away as the host of the Championship tournament where they will leave with more gold around their neck than just what is on their uniform.

Puget 3

Check out Puget Sound’s Facebook for updates and awesomeness. Thank you, Eric Lyons for use of ALL the photos in the article. Tune into WFTDA.tv at 3p PST to watch Puget Sound work their fancy feet magic against Bridgetown Menace.

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2014 MRDA Champs Preview: #7 Southern Discomfort

The British are coming.

so disco

(Sorry for the cliché opening. I’ve been hoping for a reason to use it for years.)

Seriously though, they are. Only they come bearing red Bonts, not red coats (and if we’re lucky some Blue Coat … and limes, but that’s another issue all together). Southern Discomfort is my new favorite derby team, and with the sheer amount of talent on the roster, I’m sure no one is surprised.

Their skaters qualified to play at the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup on Team England, France, Wales, Ireland, and Scotland: Seven chartered skaters appeared at the Men’s World Cup. Several others from the So Disco league were also featured during the WC, even though they don’t appear on the SD charter. It’s very possible that they are the MRDA team with the MOST skaters on World Cup teams (just based on what I’m seeing). Thanks to Flapjack for helping me come up with some of the World Cup info!

Samdroid, Flapjack, and Rolling Thunder hold back Mass Maelstrom. From Spring Roll 2014. Photo by DeFord Designs.
Samdroid, Flapjack, and Rolling Thunder hold back Mass Maelstrom. From Spring Roll 2014. Photo by DeFord Designs.

From London, England, So Disco has been together since 2010, when players from the south of England (who would get together to play men from the north of England) decided to ban together and start the first men’s team in the UK. Like their sisters, the London Rollergirls, SD didn’t have the luxury of being able to travel to close, competitive teams.

“I think our coach Kitty sums it up best when she says that the distance can actually work in your favour. We don’t always know what other teams are up to so we have to assume that they are flat out training and playing. This means we have to work harder than that in order to compete.” – Samdroid

The first look most of MRDA had of the team was this year during the week of Spring Roll in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The lads crossed an ocean for an infamous “7 games in 9 days”, where they took on 3 of the 4 top ranked MRDA teams (Shock Exchange was the only one they didn’t get a crack at). The start of the tour was tough because of the extreme jet lag felt by the team, and they ended the adventure playing the GateKeepers. They looked like the Walking Wounded by the time the bout finished up, they had all put so much into that 9 day stretch.

“I think this was a great experience for everyone. Those tight knit situations, being on top of each other for nine days can either bond you together or split you apart. For us it was a great bonding experience, it was great to play so much derby together and really get to know our rhythms. We met a lot of really lovely people who put us up, gave us lifts and food and were so hospitable. The toughest games were the first couple in Des Moines, where we were playing at the equivalent of4am UK time. Not a lot of people can remember those two clearly and the final game at Spring Roll was tough just because we had been so beat up. That was one just to get through.” 

So how did I fall in love with So Disco? By watching them play Mass Maelstrom on Friday night at Spring Roll. We all know I’ve been a Maelstrom fangirl since SR ’13, so of course I was track side (especially with this unranked international team as the first match up). After the first jam, I knew that we were in for an amazing bout – So Disco flat out muscled the Maelstrom jammers for the first half. It is a feat to keep Jurasskick Park in a pack, but combination of men like Spectral Aberwraytion, Hooks Linger, and Rolling StoneR on the floor kept all the Maelstrom jammers fighting for every inch. I loved the acrobatics of Mr. Furieux, the backwards agility of Sutton Impact, the airiness of Reaper; I loved watching Ballistic Whistle toe up against Wes Turn (two jammers with very similar styles and amazing footwork).

Right so fast forward: The game was tied at the half (TIED!), but the second half proved too much of an endurance game and Maelstrom ended up winning by 50 points. Eventually the offense/defense switched helped establish MM’s hold on the game. I was sold on Southern Discomfort at that point though. It was over.

Ballistic Whistle hops the fallen opposition. Sutton Impact... just does his thing. From Spring Roll. Copyright 2014 by Bob Dunnell. Please do not remove watermarks from this photo. To purchase prints of this photo, please visit the following link: http://store.mrmcwheely.com/p23213762/e3e56ef34 Reference: 2014-05 Spring Roll GateKeepers vs Southern Discomfort-2290
Ballistic Whistle hops the fallen opposition. Sutton Impact… just does his thing. From Spring Roll.
Copyright 2014 by Bob Dunnell. Please do not remove watermarks from this photo.
To purchase prints of this photo, please visit the following link:
http://store.mrmcwheely.com/p23213762/e3e56ef34
Reference: 2014-05 Spring Roll GateKeepers vs Southern Discomfort-2290

All told, So Disco went 3-4-0 during their run in the states. They beat Twin City Terrors, Capital City Hooligans, Denton County Outlaws, and CT Death Quads, while they fell to Your Mom, the GateKeepers, Mass Maelstrom.

When rankings came out in June 2014, SD anxiously waited to see whether they had broken into the top 8 on their ranking appearance. “Disappointed” is how players described their feelings when the rankings were released with Southern Discomfort sitting at the 9th position. With unranked Denton County Outlaws slated to play the #8 Deep Valley Belligerents in August, SD still held onto hope that they would make it to champs thanks to their hard work (and their victory over DCO at Spring Roll). See my Denton County blog about why this mattered.

At the MEC doing work! Photo by Floyd King Photography
At the MEC doing work!
Photo by Floyd King Photography

In the meantime, while the rankings were left up the good folks of Denton County and Deep Valley, So Disco focused in on the Men’s European Cup. With determination in their eyes (and their training), they took what they learned during their time in the states and implemented it into their gameplay. And, quite honestly, they dominated. No one else at the MEC even came close to defeating them. Then the next good news came: Denton had soundly defeated #8 Deep Valley before the final rankings for Championships were due. When the September rankings were released, So Disco found themselves at #7 in the MRDA. They had punched their tickets to Maritime Mayhem.

In the first round, So Disco gets another shot at the St Louis GateKeepers. With both teams at full strength it should be interesting to see how this shakes out. Both teams have exceptionally strong blockers and equally as wiley jammers. Both have fluid walls and communication. This could be one of the best bouts of the 2014 MRDA Championships. I doubt that Southern Discomfort walked away from their loss at Spring Roll without some lessons (or the footage on DVD to watch over and over and over).

Reaper can fly in his [borrowed] Antiks. Yup, he broke a plate on his artistic boots so Quadzilla offered him a pair he had handy. Copyright 2014 by Bob Dunnell. Please do not remove watermarks from this photo. To purchase prints of this photo, please visit the following link: http://store.mrmcwheely.com/p23213762/e3bac8c8f Reference: 2014-05 Spring Roll GateKeepers vs Southern Discomfort-1966
Reaper can fly in his [borrowed] Antiks. Yup, he broke a plate on his artistic boots so Quadzilla offered him a pair he had handy.
Copyright 2014 by Bob Dunnell. Please do not remove watermarks from this photo.
To purchase prints of this photo, please visit the following link:
http://store.mrmcwheely.com/p23213762/e3bac8c8f
Reference: 2014-05 Spring Roll GateKeepers vs Southern Discomfort-1966
In the fan survey I conducted, a handful of people said that they’d be rooting for Southern Discomfort during the tournament and believe that Mr. Furieux could be named the Tournament MVP because “Dude does not fall down ever.” (WildStyle, Capital City Hooligans).  Casanovacaine is giving it to #666, Reaper “because he has skills and flare and is an all-round lovely chap. And has fought through injuries to be stronger and better.”

The countdown is on for the MRDA Championships, keep an eye on their webpage for info as it’s released. If you want to get more info about Southern Discomfort, visit their webpage! To support their GoFundMe and get some wicked So Disco merch, you need to visit their Fundraising Page ASAP.

When asked if there was anything else the world should know about So Disco, Samdroid simply replied:

“We’ve discovered that we’re not particularly keen on elephants as a league, which is quite interesting.”

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Just another jam for Mr. Furieux. Copyright 2014 by Bob Dunnell. Please do not remove watermarks from this photo. To purchase prints of this photo, please visit the following link: http://store.mrmcwheely.com/p23213762/e261c1e2d Reference: 2014-05 Spring Roll GateKeepers vs Southern Discomfort-2719
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MRDA Champs 2014 Preview: #8 Denton County Outlaws

It’s almost here: The 2014 MRDA Championships. This week, skaters, officials, announcers, and fans will descend Tacoma, Washington for Maritime Mayhem, hosted by Puget Sound Outcast Derby. I figured that I should do a preview of the teams, like last year, to get us all amped up about the tournament.  Coming in as the Eighth Seed is a new team (to the MRDA and the tournament): The Denton County Outlaws.

denton

Fun fact: Denton County is debuting in the Top 8. A feat not easy now that there are so many member leagues. BOOM. Nice work, fellas.

I got to watch DCO play at Spring Roll this season. Truth be told, most of us watched their bouts because they (as well as the Cincinnatti Battering Rams and Southern Discomfort) were giant wild cards in the MRDA at that point. Most of us fans had not seen any of the teams play and we were curious at the showing they would make. Denton was of particular interest, since many of us had watched some of their vets play on Dallas Deception, Magic City Misfits, and Team USA previously.

DCO definitely came out swinging. They played the Carolina Wreckingballs (ranked 16th at that time) first. They came out with a definitive strength and speed that the Balls just couldn’t handle. Game 2 of Spring Roll brought them against a different kind of Wreckingball: the lads from London, Southern Discomfort.

Side Note: After the game against the Carolina Wreckingballs, the lady fans of the Balls decided that Denton won the “Team Sexy” award for 2014. “Bout Sexy” of Spring Roll went to the Denton County Outlaws v Southern Discomfort. (For those who have been reading my writing, you may recall that 2013’s SR winner was Bridgetown Menace v Mass Maelstrom.)

#SorryFortheAdmittedSexism

So Disco was able to [mostly] capture the jukes and ducks of DCO jammers (it was a blast watching Haterade give them a hard time though). The walls of Denton blockers just didn’t have the same experience as their competition, but it was a phenomenal bout. DCO only lost by 99 points (super impressive considering So Disco had lost to #4 Mass Maelstrom by only 53 points the night before). DCO rounded out their Spring Roll with a definitive win against the Canadian powerhouses on the Mont Royals.

You're not seeing double. That's Haterade and TJ Binkley showing off their Spring Roll MVP bandannas.
You’re not seeing double. That’s Haterade and TJ Binkley showing off their Spring Roll MVP bandannas.

The Outlaws have only been together since March of 2012. They skate out of the House of Quad (just north of Dallas), and get to share the space with North Texas Derby Revolution and the Rolling Rebellions, a junior league. While they have picked up vet skaters, newbies to derby like Keith Rucker are making their mark on DCO. Vet TJ Binkley says:

“Keith is our under-rated jammer. He is a rink rat but fairly new to derby. [He] has some moves …that he shouldn’t be able to. The guy is fearless.”

When mid-season rankings came out, DCO was still unranked, since they had not played their 5 sanctioned MRDA bouts. The world of men’s derby (ok, maybe just me and a few other people who are rankings nerds) were waiting with baited breath to see how DCO did at the Arizona Rattleskates’ Southwest Sausage Fest.

At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.

Why?

Well let’s talk rankings for a second. In the WFTDA there is a fancy new equation that helps the organization calculate rankings. In the MRDA they’re still doing things a little old school. So the member teams vote. That being said, if a team has established wins that calculate out properly, they tend to move upward. Here’s what we need to look at:

Southern Discomfort played 3 of the 4 top teams in the MRDA and lost to them, but … only lost to Maelstrom by 50 points (almost a tie in derby standards). Denton lost to So Disco by 99 points. DCO was slated to play Deep Valley Belligerents at SW Sausagefest. DVB was ranked #8 at mid-terms. Right. So if DCO could beat DVB, that would mean that they were better than the #8 ranking and since So Disco had beaten DCO by a larger margin, it would mean they were at least better than at least the 8 seed. (Ok, so maybe me and So Disco were waiting with baited breath for Sausagefest).

Sorry. Back to writing about derby now.  //EndRankingNerdMoment

Everyone is looking for the cut [that didn't happen]. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
Everyone is looking for Lucky Charmer to cut… yea, he didn’t. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
As you may have figured out, DCO DID beat Deep Valley. The walls of DCO had strengthened since I watched them play at Spring Roll (through the magic of the interwebs, I got to watch the stream of Sausagefest). The walls were more fluid and worked as a unit to contain, play offense as they were playing defense (yay!), and kill penalties. Deep Valley simply couldn’t contain the DCO jammers. I wish I could give you stats on this one, but it seems that the stats package hasn’t been uploaded to FTS. Womp Womp. I will say that I particularly enjoy watching Lucky Charmer magically break through packs and Phillip Stout working with his team mates to destroy opponents.

Ladies and gentlemen: Phillip Stout at work. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
Ladies and gentlemen: Phillip Stout at work.
At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.

So let’s talk Champs. Denton is facing off in the first round against Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby. To say they’re the underdog is a bit of an understatement. Especially since one of their primary jammers, aforementioned Haterade, is out recovering from surgery. Binkley says the guys aren’t looking at their underdog status as a negative stance though:

“Our main goal is to have fun and learn from each game. We just want to the rest of MRDA that we belong here. Whatever place we finish in at the end of the tournament accomplishment since this is our first time being ranked. I know the DCO guys will soak everything in and come out of this tournament that much stronger. [Denton County is] extremely excited to be a part of the years champs. It’s every team’s goal to make it to champs. I’m just happy to see our goal come to life!”

Regardless of how this weekend turns out for Denton, you can be sure they are going to come out with fast feet, spins, hops, and powerful blocking.

Streaming information is forthcoming from the MRDA. Keep your eyes peeled on the MRDA Championship Facebook Event for up to date information. If you want to support the Denton County Outlaws, check out their Facebook Fundraiser page for merch!

Beards doing work! At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
Beards doing work! At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.