The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
I haven’t written too much this year (it’s been an interesting ride), and I am sorry for that. After my second ACL surgery I dove into studies of a Sommelier. In the past 7 months I have achieved certification of WSET2, Level 1 from the Court of Masters Sommelier, and my Cicerone Certified Beer Server. All those notecards left little time for writing.
I was seeking inspiration for a derby topic the other day, and Facebook delivered. This idea came from Noah Tall in Fayetteville, Arkansas: “Why not do team and wine pairings?” Talking to others they agreed it would be a neat idea, and I decided to do my pairings a la the embodiment of the team in a beverage.
So here we go! With all the Champs excitement I thought I would start with MRDA Champs and then after this weekend I’ll do the WFTDA Champs! ENJOY!
PS: this task is way more daunting than it sounds!
Cava comes from Catalanya, Spain and is [most often] a blending of indigenous grapes. It’s bubbly, refreshing, and a ton of people haven’t experienced it. Is it as expensive as Champagne? No. Is it just as fancy and satisfying? Absolutely. My saying in my wine bar is: “When in doubt – Cava.” When I’m thinking about favorite MRDA teams, when in doubt: Austin Anarchy. They too are light and bubbly (have you picked up Wombo yet? Goldie Gloves has a whole FB album of “People Picking Up Wombo Combo”). Plus, Austin is always a great addition to a party.
DERBY CLUB LE CRES LATTES MONTPELLIER ie The KamiQuadz Pairing: Chilean Carmenere
Image by Wine Folly
“The Lost Grape of Bordeaux” has found a home in Chile and it is delightful. Lost Grape? Yes, Carmenere was thought to have been wiped out by Phylloxera in the 1800s. Turned out it survived just elsewhere (Chile). When picked early it has green notes (Cabernet Franc is one of its parents, and Cab Sauv is a half-sibling), when it develops more fully, it has velvety tannins, chocolate, and red fruits. The KamiQuadz are a green team with lots of depth and experience, but most of us don’t know them. I expect that as the years progress, French men’s roller derby will continue to be saved by this new bastion of play and I expect the green to turn to rich fruit rewards.
GOLDEN STATE HEAT Pairing: White Claw
WAIT WAIT – HEAR ME OUT!!!
Just like White Claw, Golden State Heat came out of NOWHERE this year to put everyone on the ground. Teams play them and wake up the next morning wondering what the hell happened and what their name is. White Claw is booze + sparkling water; it’s a blend of two things coming together in harmony and busting up a scene of regular acts for something refreshing and different – just like Golden State Heat. With all the deliciousness I don’t see either one of these things fizzing out any time soon.
NEW WHEELED ORDER Pairing: Dry Mosel Riesling
This aromatic wine always catches people off guard. They expect it to be one thing, but then they are served with something completely different. Dry Rieslings are refreshing, like Sauvignon Blancs, but without the grapefruit pith that can come with it. People always seem to forget about Rieslings, but it pairs easily with some of the most difficult foods (like vinegar and asparagus). NWO is a team that [American] people forgot about this year until Champs came around. They served up game play that people were not expecting, and for the second year in a row, NWO came out and broke expectations with adaptability and finesse.
DENVER GROUND CONTROL Pairing: Coppertail Unholy Belgian Trippel Ale
Belgian Trippels (the best ones) are light in body, sharp in spirit, and they hit you harder than you ever thought possible. Trippels are crafted with precision in mind, and tradition behind them, especially this one. Coppertail is in Florida, but Unholy rivals the best Belgians in the world. It might not be everyone’s go-to beverage of choice, but they are remarkable to all of us that pay attention. Ground Control has a long derby history behind them in their coaching staff, and one can tell that they focus on routine and perfection. Their jammers defy gravity, and every blocker can annihilate you.
SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT ROLLER DERBY Pairing: Merlot
No, I was not going to say Southern Comfort; that would be taking the easy way out (Plus I had a bad experience with SoCo in my younger years and I really didn’t want to think about flavor profiles).
So why Merlot? Merlot is the underestimated monster of the wine world. Merlot was a queen, and a movie (Sideways) came along and kicked it off a pedestal. That said, Merlot is a critical grape for blends of the Old AND New World wines. Not only that, a 2004 Saint Emilion would make anyone weak in the knees. My point? Despite hardships, SDRD keeps on giving amazing derby and producing exceptional players from their program. Merlot has incredible balance and versatility, as does SDRD. Wine Enthusiast called Merlot “the best red wine you’re not drinking”; SDRD could be the best MRDA team you’re not following.
VANCOUVER MURDER Pairing: Angel’s Envy Kentucky Straight Bourbon
I was not Bourbon fan about 3 years ago. I didn’t understand it, I didn’t have the tasting ability for it. After a trip to Louisville I fell for Angel’s Envy. On the first sip, it’s a bit of a punch to the senses; to experience it fully you’ve got to do 3 sips in a row (and really “chew” the bourbon). Then, you’ll experience the nuances. You have to take your time to truly appreciate how well crafted and deliberate it is. Finished in port wine barrels, there is a deep respect for flavor and quality. It took me a couple years to really appreciate how well the Murder work together. At first you think it’s just about flash, but then you look deeper and you realize that there is a dance Vancouver executes in every jam. Maybe not everyone will see it, but pay attention and keep going back to the Murder, like you would with a bourbon. You’ll discover more each time.
TEXAS MEN’S ROLLER DERBY Pairing: Frosé
You can make it with a rosé of Sangiovese for a more cherry variety, or with a Loire Valley for something more chalk-driven. Stir up a frosé with a Vinho Verde for a pool pounder, or use a California rosé for strawberry candy. There is a Frosé for all occasions, and if you know what you’re doing you can make them for anyone. Here’s my point: Frosé is super likeable, great in hot weather, and totally underestimated as to their greatness. I am hard pressed to find anyone that HATES Frosé. That’s Texas. They work great together, they get you buzzed, and you’re always excited for more.
MAGIC CITY MISFITS Pairing: Orin Swift Machete
This is a blended red wine with Petit Sirah, Syrah, and Grenache sourced from no less than five AVAs in California. It has deep notes of cassias, ripe red cherries, and stewed blackberries. It has a velvet texture that makes you go back for more and more. Blending is critical to the success of many wines, since you cannot always harvest the best grapes from single sites. As long as all the aspects are quality and work together to create a symphony, what does it matter which AVAs the grape comes from? Machete is a dance of flavors and wine-making techniques that has some of the best people in the industry almost mad about how good it is. MCM is a blend of friends and players, though the majority of their roster have been a part of the Florida roster for a few years. They are fast, they are undeniable talented, and they work incredibly well together. You might be mad about it, but they’re just doing good at the derby.
ST LOUIS GATEKEEPERS Pairing: Romanee-Conti Grand Cru
This single vineyard Pinot Noir is considered possibly the greatest that ever was, or ever will be. Pinot Noir is a very difficult grape to grow effectively; it takes time and finesse and care to get the best out of it. Sometimes it can take years for a grower to fully understand the complexities of the grape. The Gatekeepers have spent a decade (or more) cultivating their teamwork, style, and nerve under pressure. They are what other teams aspire to and use as a model. They have layers of complexity and courage, and no matter what adversity befalls the team, the roots seem to expand and flourish.
This is a team of legend and a team that no other will ever be like, now matter how they try to emulate these behemoths.
At 3pm in Seminar Room 7 on Wednesday of RollerCon 2019 this class will happen. I am going to edit this post after the class takes place to fill in notes and (hopefully) upload a video of the class itself, which will also go on the AFTDA’s YouTube Channel. For now, here is my outline of the class ahead… and sorry about the formatting. Google Docs to WordPress was not the best copy/paste decision I’ve ever made.
Who am I? President of the AFTDA, skater/writer/coach for 9 years, ref for 4 years, announcer for 3 years. I have been a vendor and brand rep, I have traveled the world. I have spoken to people about derby and who are involved in derby from all cultures and backgrounds. And yes, I too have made mistakes.
Why this class is important:
People of privilege and those who do not live in certain worlds are often caught up in their own language, manners, and behaviors that they do not realize when something can be offensive, hurtful, or downright rude. This is meant to be a discussion and information session as much as a ‘class’, since as a person of privilege myself, I certainly cannot TEACH others.
Goal:
To discuss the microaggressions and language we use as announcers in Roller Derby and bring further awareness to the struggle of the humans in our community. To help people understand how their words have an effect on the community, and how we can learn and grow to become better humans together. To teach individuals how to handle receiving and giving information to friends and partners about offensive language or hurtful behavior. To have open discussion from the attendees about their feelings about language and how to improve the community at large.
LET’S DIVE IN!
Microaggressions
What is a microaggression? A statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority. Examples:
Calling a player ‘black’ instead of by jersey color
Commenting on how capable someone with a disability is “despite”
Female-identifying skaters being called ‘more aggressive than typical’
When we hear a microaggression, how should we respond?
Getting angry is understandable, but not always the best approach
Be honest and direct about what has been said
Ask the person to correct their language moving forward
How should we respond if we are confronted about microaggressions?
DON’T GET MAD OR DEFENSIVE! We all have committed a microaggression at some point. The person pointing this out is doing the right thing, even if we may feel guilty about having made someone feel bad.
OWN IT
Apologize
Process what has been said, and correct behavior moving forward
Understanding that someone else’s gender construct is different from your own personal definition is critical.
When in doubt, eliminate pronouns
Using a skater’s name, number, color jersey, or positioning is just as appropriate as a pronoun.
Yes it takes practice, do it anyway
DO NOT MISGENDER!
Mistakes happen, especially if we don’t have the information, but do not purposefully misgender.
If you do, See instructions for microaggressions.
Remove gender from your salutations, introductions, and generalizations
No “Welcome, Ladies & Gentlemen”
No “These ladies are really tough”
No “These are the hardest working men in derby”
OPEN TO DISCUSSION ABOUT OTHER WAYS WE CAN SUPPORT OUR FLUID, NONBINARY, AND TRANS FAMILY MEMBERS, AND MAKING A LIST OF OUR FAVORITE NONBINARY SALUTATIONS
Body Shaming
Stop talking about body types in derby
“Big like a blocker”
“Strong for her size”
– You wouldn’t say, “7 is pretty think for a quarterback”, so don’t say it in derby
Find language that talks about the play without body size
“Using their momentum”
“Muscling the opponents out”
“Taking advantage of every inch of track”
OPEN TO DISCUSSION ABOUT THE MOST COMMON PHRASES WE HEAR AND SOME SENTENCES WE CAN USE TO REPLACE THEM.
Misogyny on the mic
What does it look like?
Correcting a partner/responding with “No”
Cutting off a partner
Not allowing your partner a word in, even during color or sponsors
How do we approach it?
If you have a producer, or are a producer, POINT IT OUT. You may have to wait until halftime, but have the discussion
If you don’t have backup, be calm throughout the call. At halftime, have the discussion with them. Point out what has been going on, how you have felt stymied, and what they can do to help
If they get defensive, go on the offensive, or refuse to change, go to your THR or the Game Coordinator for a home game to explain the situation. Do not be afraid at home games to leave the mic.
OPEN TO DISCUSSION ABOUT EXPERIENCES AND HOW WE HAVE HANDLED, OR UNDERSTOOD THIS BEHAVIOR.
You’ve joined roller derby. You’ve worked your butt off (or up, in the case of some of us) to pass the 27 in 5. You’re not a complete bambi on skates, and you have fallen in love with a star. That star just happens to be on a helmet cap. You don’t know if it’s the challenge of breaking a wall, the thrill of hearing “tweet tweet”, or the praise you receive from your peers when you get back to the bench, but you have decided:
You want to be a jammer.
I am here to help. Here are 10 things to help you begin a successful career of five point passes and high lead jammer percentages. It will not be easy, it will not be quick, but with diligence, you can prevail.
Jamming isn’t easy. It takes hard work, persistence, and dedication. (Lambo R Feeties takes on Chuck Taylor during the State Wars final) Photo by Phantom Photographics
Recognize your weaknesses
Chances are you have many of them, especially if you’re coming into this sport as a true Skater Tot. Don’t be afraid to make a list of the things you’re not good at. Watch the other jammers in your league (and in footage) and watch for things you can’t do that make other people successful. Write it down!
Now also make a list of things you’re good at. For those of us who are our own worst critics (guilty), you may want to ask your captains to help you. I’ve asked, “What are you good at?” To many skaters and gotten the snap back with, “NOTHING.” Remember: There is no perfection in derby. And even if you are good at roller skating, doesn’t mean you’ll be good at jamming right away. Don’t allow the frustration to overtake you.
When making your lists, think about these categories: Physical Fitness, On Skates Skills, Strategy, Mental Game. Knowing that you’re good at analyzing situations or have a background at team sports does give you a leg up. They are just as important to derby as toe stop runs.
Now that you have your list, you can start doing some goal setting. I’d go into it here, but I talk about goal setting in another blog post (or two). Check out “Building You as a Better Skater”
It is in the details
Jammer awareness is full of little details. If you don’t know where the other jammer is or how many points you’ve scored on this pass, how can you make effective decisions when you’re lead jammer (let’s face it, we can’t always refer to our bench coach) as to whether you should call it off? How can you be successful if you constantly get hyper focus in a pack, causing you to lose track of extra blockers who are out to get you?
This is something you can train at practice and in life. When I’m moving through a crowd, I will make a note of a single person (maybe they’ll have a red hat on). As I move, I work on using my periphery to understand where they are, how quickly they’re moving, and what direction they’re going. This works great in grocery stores and busy streets. When someone new walks into a room, try and notice something about them without looking directly at them. You’ll become better at looking using your periphery.
At practice, always be aware of where people are, how they are moving, and what indications they make before coming in to make a hit. Most blockers have a ‘tell’, and the most aware jammers will learn them quickly so they can move out of the way before contact.
To keep yourself calm, practice breathing during your jamming. Make a conscious effort of breathing in and out when you’re in a pack, and steadying your breaths while making your lap. Sometimes I’ll count my strides to keep me calm. Practice this during endurance drills. Find a place of Zen where it’s just you in the track. If you can do it during endurance practice, it’ll translate into your laps and gameplay.
For all the other little details? Well, refer back to your list of what you’re good at and not good at, and fine tune. You’re not good at getting through walls: Is it because of power, body positioning, or foot work? And go on from there!
Details. A fraction of an inch further to the in, and Sully of Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder would be out of bounds. Manneken Beasts’s R.A.T.T. know it too. Photo by NSP189
3. Walk the [imaginary] line
Jammers need to know how to navigate small spaces and squeeze through spaces on the inside and outside line that mere mortals cannot even detect. When you’re practicing your footwork, you should always be imagining a balance beam next to your opponent, you don’t want your feet straying away (and over the boundary line).
To practice narrow spaces, use a partner whenever possible. If you don’t have a buddy to work with, grab some cones, and make two rows of them to create a narrow lane (I like using short cones for this). Ideally, the cones should be no wider than the length of your hand, but when first practicing it’s ok to make the gap wider.
Footwork you should practice include running on your skates, a step through 180 turn (you have to pick up your feet), a foot to foot transition, a shuffle step (on toe stops), a crossover step (on toe stops), and stepping over the leg of an opponent to keep going. These basic pieces can be used in different combinations to get you through and around anything a pack can throw at you. Check out some things to start with: BEGINNER JAMMER FOOTWORK VIDEO
When you look at jamming from a very rudimentary standpoint, it is a navigation of space through packs of various colors. One color is friendly the other is foe. The brains of jammers must be able to react quickly to changes in space as well as recognize friendly colors near the space. Weaknesses in depth perception or color recognition can be the difference between a four point pass and being nailed out of the air on an apex jump.
When recognizing your color for offense, remember that you want to go where that skater is about to NOT be, not where they’re going to be when playing offense. You want to occupy space that they no longer occupy. So ‘following offense’ really means follow their movements – don’t run into them, go where they JUST were.
The white blocker is clearing the way for the white jammer (who is just behind). White jammer takes the inside line, seeing what her blocker is doing. This is a screenshot from the AMAZING RDJunkies.tumblr.com SEE THE FULL VIDEO!!
A drill that I love for recognizing space and moving through it quickly involves the whole team (this is great for blockers too). Divide your team into three groups. Denote the active part of the track with cones (it shouldn’t be too big of an area, maybe one corner or half the straightaway). Group 1 will ‘jam’ first, starting from the opposite corner. Groups 2 and 3 are told to pick a spot within the boundary. Set a timer for 2 minutes. Group 1, in a line, begins to sprint towards the group standing still. The jammers must navigate the spaces at a sprint. The goal is to get through the pack without slowing momentum, unless it is to redirect their energy, or toe pick past an opponent. This continues for 2 minutes. Then, Group 1 switches with Group 2, and so on.
The next level is to let the obstacles take one step in either direction from their original spot. THERE IS NO INTENTIONAL BLOCKING ALLOWED. The next level is to allow one of the two groups to move laterally across the track. The final stage is to ‘split’ the groups by handing out colored coins to wear, so that each group has both black and white. Now, the obstacles are allowed to make one move to either side of their original spot, AND are allowed to make contact. Obviously, they are only supposed to hit those of the opposing color.
You can also make this more interesting by spreading out the obstacles, and adding in color cones that the jammers are supposed to make contact with throughout the course. You know, just for more fun and challenge.
On your own, you can practice color and vision challenges to sharpen your senses. I’ve found a good memory game and article about improving vision here. Anything you can do at home to improve your periphery is great. Have a friend grab some small colored balls, and sit in a chair looking forward. Have them toss the balls from behind to in front (along the side of your head). Work on catching the balls of specific colors. You must keep your eyes forward! Use your periphery!
Bursts and balance
I f**king love science, and physics is the reason derby does what it does. The sport is a constant transfer of potential to kinetic energy, of friction coefficients, of balance, and of trajectory. To be a successful jammer there are two things you must master:
BURSTS OF POWER (which will cause both acceleration and deceleration)
BALANCE
While I could not find any articles directly related to roller skating, I did do a fair bit of reading just now about bicycles, and why it’s easier to stay on them when they’re moving rather than standing still. It has to do with torque, center of gravity, angular momentum, and the experience of the rider in controlling all of them. This is why newb skaters look wobbly while balancing on one foot, but vets can coast around ‘shooting the duck’ no problem.
CONFESSION: I can’t shoot ducks. Ever. If there is ever a skill that I will not be able to do – it will be that one.
ANYWAY!!!
To practice balance, not only do you just have to spend time on your roller skates doing goofy things, but you have to train all your stabilizer muscles, strengthen those ligaments and challenge your body to do new and interesting (and sometimes very scary things).
Incorporating heavy lifting, plyometrics, and yoga into your cross training program will help you erase instability and build your bursts of power.
Training your muscles and edges so that you can burst past blocks is critical for jammer survival. Giles (Victorian) hustles past Bittercup (Texas) using this technique of running on her skates. Photos by Phantom Photographics
6. Levels and Leverage
Along the lines of speed, balance, and understanding your body is the concept of understanding your levels and leverage. Being able to duck under a block, under stray arms flailing, or past a wall is excellent.
Ana Cheng dips underneath a block. Her attention to her body allows complete control over her movements and levels. Photo by Phantom Photographics
Knowing how to leverage your weight and body against opponents is super handy. Can you press your chest into a blocker and use that energy they put into you to bring your hips and feet around them? Can you bounce into a blocker and use the energy to move you forward? Can you put the levels and leverage together?
Practice (slowly) leaning onto a buddy who’s blocking you. Now see if you can create movement in your skates to move around them with this energy. Do it again, but this time, when you’re almost around them, press harder into them, duck, and snap your hips to get past them. The pressure and ducking will create momentum. You can use this momentum to steal points, or to get yourself out of a pack. After you get your hips around, practice planting your toe stop to spin out of the contact. If you practice right on the edge of the track, you can work on spinning out of the contact and avoiding the cut track at the same time.
7. It is not all about you
You are one of five players on the track from your team. You cannot play as an individual. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen teams make over the years is to give jammers the idea that they’re by themselves on the track.
As a jammer, it is your job to understand what your pack is planning for their defense, offense, and what formations they prefer to run. You are not just offense, but you are defense. For example: If your pack is blocking a jammer who is pushing them into bridging, it’s YOUR job to get your ass back to the pack as part of defense. You will hit the line of blockers, and either break through and they will chase you up OR you will push the wall up, far enough (hopefully) that team’s bridge will be ‘pack is all’.
If you don’t know how your team skates and strategizes, you will not be as effective at reading holes. How many times have you run into your own blockers? Yea. You should probably skate with them more often and learn how to communicate your own plan. Some teams use hand signals or code words to communicate between jammers and blockers, but the best way to use offense is to observe your team mates and know their tendencies.
As Smarty Pants once said, “Blockers make the points, jammers collect them.” So what this comes down to is LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR. No one wants it, no one appreciates it, and even Bonnie Thunders practices. You are not Derby Jesus so lace up and leave it at the door.
8. See the game, be the game
All the derby will help you. I know that not everyone can dedicate hours each day to watching the sport, but if you want to get better at the mental side of roller derby – you must watch it. You must understand how those better than you move and succeed and fail. You must be able to think critically about aspects of the game that you have not encountered. Watching footage, even one game a week split up into four 15 minute chunks will help you.
And don’t just watch the kind of derby that you play. There is WFTDA (of ALL levels), MRDA, JRDA, USARS, UKRDA, RDCL, MADE, and Renegade. Go to bouts, watch streaming tournaments, participate in open scrimmages – both flat and tilty. See the games, analyze the games, be the games.
When you’re at your home league, don’t be afraid to step out of the jammer box.
Practicing as a blocker will dramatically improve your jamming game, because you’ll understand the blocker psychology. You will have first-hand experience of how a blocker reads incoming movement, and how a good blocker will deal with different styles of jammer – because you will be doing it yourself! Then when you jam, you can use this insider information to your advantage when it comes to jukes, deceleration, and avoidance measures.
Like I said, ALL THE DERBY.
Grim D Mise balances on a foot to get around the apex. Many flat trackers join Penn Jersey for their scrimmages & BBQs. I know I always feel stronger after spending time on a banked track. Photo by JPaden Photography
9. It’s not your gear
No matter how long you’ve been in the game, we’ve all fallen into the trap of “Well if I just had ______”. While, yes, having better/different plates, boots, wheels, etc etc can dramatically change aspects of your game, upgrading gear in the soul hoping of becoming a better skater is silly. Improving your skills will help you pass your 27 in 5, not faster bearings. Working on lateral motion will help you avoid an oncoming block, not different wheels. Strengthening your ankles will help you power through your crossovers, not a more expensive boot.
You must work on your craft and know how to manipulate your tools before gear changes will truly mean anything to you. Personally, I couldn’t tell the difference between a wheel with an overhang and a wheel with a square edge until about a year ago. I didn’t know why I couldn’t control my 45 degree plates until I had switched to my 10 degree plates and understood what my body needed to do to plow and edge appropriately. I didn’t know why I had trouble with my 10 degree plates, until I put on 15 degree plates and could feel the movement and control in the trucks in comparison. It’s more than equipment – it’s about your self-awareness in the equipment.
I know skaters who have certified and bouted in rental skates. Sometimes, it’s not your gear, it is user error. Admitting that to yourself can be one of the harder realizations one can come to in derby.
10. You can’t climb Everest in a day
There is so much to improve at, and it is easy to become impatient in this sport. What goals do you have? All the goals? Well you can’t meet them all at once. That’s just the nature of training and sport. Do not look at the peak of the mountain and think “WHY AREN’T I THERE YET?” Rather, focus on the little steps on the way up the mountain. You can’t reach the summit until you reach 1000ft, right? This is the same with training and learning.
You won’t be a D1 level jammer overnight. Sometimes you won’t over a year, or two years. Do not get frustrated, do not quit. Set goals, work hard, and then drill, drill, drill. Challenge yourself against new opponents, and challenge yourself to think outside your safety zone. We all want to be the greatest, but diligence is the key.
Didn’t do so well at practice today? It’s ok. You have to fail a whole bunch in order to start succeeding. You’re not going to be perfect (or even good) at all the skills you try right off the bat. You’re going to run into things that hang you up. Do not let that frustration eat you alive. Recognize where you’re having trouble, break down the movement into smaller chunks, and then drill, drill, drill.
And enjoy the journey along the way! You’ll meet some of your greatest friends in the sport, and through struggling with a thing together.
Keep working and you will see it pay off! Photo by Mr McWheely
Kristie Grey (Merry Khaos) has been playing roller derby since 2009 and has coached almost as long. She has worked with over 20 leagues in 11 states (and Canada). She has coached on and off skates at Beat Me Halfway 2014 & RollerCon (2012-2015). Active in health and wellness, she is an active Herbalife Health Coach and [when the knees allow] rock climber and power lifter. For questions, booking, requests of topic, or help with a nutrition plan, message Khaos at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com
What song pumps you up? Anything I can sing and dance to. I mostly love acapella with my teammates
What is your favorite city to play derby in? I really loved skating at Craneway Pavillion, in Richmond, CA. It was like something out of a dream.
Who was your first WFTDA derby crush?/Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? I think my first derby crush was Miss Fortune. I wonder how many skaters know that name! Lol!
Which MRDA skater and why? Oh man, that’s hard. I’m a big men’s derby fan. I have so many favorites. I had to choose someone that is not on my Denver team. I fell in love with Dylan Botts and Michael Jensen when I attended my first MRDA Champs in 2013. But to tell you the truth, I fell in love with A LOT of skaters that weekend. The talent in the MRDA is unreal but if I had to choose one, it would be Jamie Williams of Bridgetown Menace. If you want to talk about someone that is inspiring, Jamie Williams is 100% that person.
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? My bedmates are Stacie Wilhelm and her pillow boyfriend she uses to keep her and I apart. She gets me.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? Post game is whatever I can shove in my face the soonest. But I shove it in my face really athletically. Pre-game I love a good eggs benedict in the morning.
What song pumps you up? B.I.N.G.O. by The Puppies. Give it a listen – your life will never be the same.
What is your favorite city to play derby in? I don’t have a favorite city to play in (unless you count Richmond, CA only because of one of B.A.D.’s home venues, the Craneway Pavilion. It’s one of the most gorgeous and scenic venues I’ve ever played in), but I enjoy playing in Florida as it means that my family and more of my friends can watch in person.
Who was your first WFTDA derby crush?/Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? If I recall back to 2011, my first “derby crush” was former DC Rollergirls teammate, Yankee Scandal. So fast and agile on her skates, full of smiles, and such a considerate and supportive teammate.
Honestly, every single member of my team – skaters and coaching staff – inspires me. When you have 20 plus other women pouring in countless hours of sweat and tears to work on their own game as well as team cohesion, practices are intense and can be emotionally and physically draining at times. But they push me to work harder and become a better, stronger, bigger, and faster version of my self with each rep, each drill, and each practice.
Additionally, every blocker I’ve encountered throughout my derby career has inspired me to work harder on footwork, strengthen my drive, and play smarter. Thank you fiercely competitive opponents!
Which MRDA skater and why? Can’t say I’ve ever “derby crushed” on any MRDA skater-gents. I enjoy watching men’s derby though and have played with/against various guys. I think it’s fun and challenges me to adapt and play derby with a slightly different physical and mental approach based on sheer size difference.
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? It changes every trip and I like that. Gives me the chance to bond with more teammates.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? If I have another game that day/weekend, I go for my chocolate almond milk protein shake and something Thai — chicken, rice noodles with some veggies and lots of garlic and ginger.
But if there are no more games to be had, I make it a priority to hunt down a juicy cheeseburger or pizza accompanied by a whiskey beverage, cider, or glass of vino.
What is your favorite city to play derby in? Definitely St. Louis, MO (Ohhh, the irony)! AND my of course, my hometown, Milwaukee, WI!
Who was your first WFTDA derby crush? First WFTDA Derby crush: Rice Rocket- Texas RollerGirls
Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? If I had to pick just one skater, (because my whole team inspires me and pushes me to work harder), I would pick my teammate, Atomic Mel Down! She plays the same position as me, but in another pack, so it’s easy to vibe off of her when we line up against each other at practice. She is strong, feisty and always gives 100%. I’m scared of the Red Dragon!
Which MRDA skater and why? I really have to give credit to my first two coaches, Streak and Powder. They not only pushed me personally as a skater, but they pushed the whole team to realize that our possibilities are limitless.
Also, I will always and forever crush on Percy Control (SLGK), Sugar Boots (YMMRD) and Screecharound (SLGK).
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? Erin Jackson (Baybee), Fancy Schmancy and Jamsterella.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? Olive Garden!
What song pumps you up? Arch Rival plays A LOT of music in locker room prior to a game. I would say GDFR has been the pump me up song of the 2015 season.
What is your favorite city to play derby in? I have found year after year that Milwaukee is a blast.
Who was your first WFTDA derby Crush? Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? Honestly, I have no idea who my first WFTDA derby crush was….I’m currently crushing hard on the Arch Rival All Stars. I have been skating for six years and I have never had to work as hard as I did this season. Our blocking line up is amazing this season which requires me to be focused and give it everything I have at every practice. Knowing that everyone on my team is fully committed to reaching the same goal is inspiring in itself and naturally makes me want to work harder to be the best that I can be for my team.
Who is your favorite MRDA skater and why? Percy Controll of the St. Louis GateKeepers. His dedication and hard work go unmatched. He strives to better himself and others around him on and off the track. He is committed to bringing St. Louis roller derby to a level to which it has never been. Given his role and the success of Arch Rival and the St. Louis GateKeepers in 2015, I would say he has been pretty successful!
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? Arch Rival loves each other! Who my roommates are going to be is always a surprise. We mix up roommates whenever we travel to enhance team bonding. We all end up partying in the same room once skating is done anyway.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? Does beer count? It’s loaded with carbs…
Luna Negra “The Lunacorn” #911; Rat City Rollergirls
What song pumps you up? I cannot pick one! This question makes me crazy!
Alright by Kendrick Lamar
Fragile by Techn9ne, Kendrick Lamar, ¡Mayday! and Kendall Morgan
Ambition, by Wale Featuring Meek Mill and Rick Ross
Flawless, Beyonce and Nicki Minaj
What is your favorite city to play derby in? Seattle. I love this city. I am so grateful that I get to travel to play a sport that I love, but the derby community in Seattle is so great! There is a lot of love and competition. The junior teams here are so competitive. We all work together to push each other and everyone is pretty nice.
Who was your first WFTDA derby crush?/Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? My derby crush is Freight Train, Texas. She skates with such power, grace and determination. It’s beautiful to watch.
Really, I have to say it’s the junior skaters that inspire me to work harder. These kids have moves and drive like I’ve never seen. They work so hard and they don’t hold back. I strive to play and practice like them. They are truly my heart and inspiration. Once they age into adult derby the game will be on a whole new level!
The kids are amazing….They are my derby heroes. Truth. Gal of Frey from Eugene Reservoir Dolls. Afro Jamurai and B. Moye, from Mob City LykkaLive Wire, Threatening Thunder, Elly/DisLykeHer and Lil Fist Fight, from Seattle Derby Brats, also, Mad Taco and Frank the Bunny from I5.
Even though….Lil Fist Fight is my kid, she hits me really hard. She doesn’t hold back on me. I try to steal her moves, but I can’t do them. We talk trash to each other quite a bit. She challenges me every day to be the best. I am biase and don’t tell her, but she is my favorite skater.
Who is your favorite MRDA skater and why?
Quadzilla challenges me every day. His skill is amazing. He is so quick and light on his feet, yet strong. I just watch in amazement.
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? My roommates are Astrid Suchy-Dicey AKA Belle Tolls and Sintripetal Force. All that happens is overanalyzing everything, eating, reading, sleeping, laughing and perhaps a prebout/postbout freak out or two. It’s fun.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? Patron, ice cream, and a steak or hamburger in that order. Don’t tell the kids.
Mary Lou Wretched #79; Kansas City Roller Warriors
What song pumps you up? I have a couple of songs I have liked to play on repeat before bouts. Wolf Like Me by TV on the Radio does its job of turning me into a little beast. And Boys Wanna Be Her by Peaches is my jam. Plus, Tech N9ne just released a new KCMO Anthem thanks to the Royals and I’m pretty sure that’s going to be what gets our blood pumping this weekend.
What is your favorite city to play derby in? Chicago! That’s partially because of the company (the Chicago Outfit is the girlfriend league to KCRW) and partially because as an Illinois girl, I’m in love with that city. That’s followed closely by San Francisco, but only because I didn’t actually get to play in San Francisco (I was a rookie when KCRW played there) yet I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of being in that amazing city.
Who was your first WFTDA derby crush?/Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? I love that you ask about my first WFTDA derby crush because I’m actually writing about her right now in a memoir I’m working on. It was Knoxville’s Goblynn, who I met during my first-ever travel bout in 2010. Her face was painted and their fans were telling us it was because she was some kind of public investigator and she needed it for protection. So whether it was true or not, I found her backstory fascinating. She also was an incredibly fast jammer and a sweetheart off the track. It was obvious the city of Knoxville adored her. I was so starry-eyed over her.
And today, my own teammate Bruz-Her inspires me to work harder. Despite just earning MVP for our Cleveland tournament, she is incredibly modest about her skills. She just makes me want to be a better teammate and skater in general.
Which MRDA skater and why? Bled Zeppelin from the Gatekeepers! I used to skate with his wife before we both transferred to our current leagues, so I know first-hand that he started from scratch to get to where he is today. That guy can stop on a dime and has so much agility it’s insane. And to see how much he and Kayla inspire each other honestly just makes me gaga over both of them. They both make me realize how far you can get with hard work.
I’d also like to mention Bat Wing from the Gatekeepers, who was a very dear friend of mine. During the short time I had him in my life, he gave me an immense amount of encouragement and inspiration. I’ll have him in my heart—and on my helmet—during Champs.
When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? My roomies are Mayhem Myers, Baby Buster, and Bruz-Her. I feel jammer-on-blocker snuggling brings us closer as a team.
What is your preferred post-bout meal? I dine on the still-beating hearts of my vanquished foes! Unless I’m home, and then post-bout I like to grab a veggie pizza from my favorite place in Lawrence, Kansas: Pizza Shuttle.
Photo by Steve Beard
_______________________________________________________________________ Sassy Long Legs #3; Sacred City Sacrificers
What song pumps you up? My team prefers to dance to warm up before games so it’s usually some booty shaking hip hop. Recently we have liked Hood Go Crazy by Tech N9ne What is your favorite city to play derby in? LA! It’s not too far from Sacramento and we usually combine it with a trip to Disneyland. Who was your first WFTDA derby crush? Bay Area Derby Girls’ Murderyn Monroe. She effectively plays offense while playing defense and is a true force to be reckoned with on the track. Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder? Stephanie Mainey from London Rollergirls. Her training style is so effective and motivational. Which MRDA skater and why? Thorsome of Tasmanian Mens Roller Derby. I had the chance to play with him the past 2 RollerCons and I think he is underrated. His height, track awareness, and agility make him effective on the track. When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? Xerox and Neill N Weep. We spend much of the time being silly and singing random songs much to the dismay of our teammates What is your preferred post-bout meal? Making sure I am not hungry before a game allows me to focus on my mental game leading into a bout. A filling burrito for breakfast does the trick and then I don’t eat until after the bout.
Favorite town to play derby in: My dream is to play in a huge arena with all the seats filled… Like the one I sent, in Australia. But so far my fave is Vancouver B.C., Tacoma/Seattle and Naptowns crowds!! (I’ve been everywhere man)
First derby crush: Julie Brandt-Glass at the time I came in… And still is! I have so many now!(Smarty, Val Kapone, DBC…) All these women are strong, independent and want more and the most from life!!
My favorite MRDA skater is Scott Slamilton Whitkop- I mean it’s Scott he’s a beast, a gentleman and a true athlete!!
My travel roommates are peeps who love their sleep and coffee but know how to enjoy the whole experience!
My favorite post-bout meal is subway and or a clean veggie-fruit smoothie add PeanutButter!! Pick one lol.
1) What song pumps you up? My Sharona (by The Knack) – not sure why just makes me to skate fast.
2) What is your favorite city to play derby in? Evansville! Nothing can beat playing for your home crowd.
3) Who was your first WFTDA derby crush?/Which WFTDA skater inspires you to work harder?When I first started I didn’t know about all the big city team skaters so it was actually a teammate of mine – The Virgin Cherry. She was fast, and powerful and I wanted to be just like her. Who currently inspires me to work harder are my teammates. My blockers always push me to get stronger and my fellow jammers inspire me to learn and grow in my abilities.
4) Which MRDA skater and why? Magnum P.I.M.P. – being close to St. Louis we invited them over to exhibit men’s derby back in 2010 and he was just amazing to watch then (as men’s derby was so new and had a different flavor than women’s derby) and is still awesome to see skate today.
5) When you travel with the team, who are your roommates? Usually my sister, Painbow Bright, and her derby wife Terra Sunder.
6)What is your preferred post-bout meal? Usually pasta of some nature or something I can dip in ranch.
Khaos Theory Derby 