The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? Delirium Trigger by Coheed and Cambria 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Denton Texas. I love that town and I’ve only had good experiences there. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? All of ARRG. Duh. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? Any of them, really. We all get along really well, so it’s not set in stone. Except for Kyle Stark. He doesn’t like sleeping with other people. I think he’s ashamed of what he sleeps in. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Well apparently Dr. Feelgood Marshall. I mean, rivalry is a two way street, right? But also these guys: Shreddy Mecury, Cory Pain, Streak, definitely NOT Chuck Best, SeaHorses 4ever, my entire team, and other guys (if you’re wondering if that includes you, hit me up). smile emoticon 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Uh, whiskey and ice cream are pretty regular parts of my post bout life.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? Toccata and Fugue in D minor by Johann Bach and the Phon Coast by Hitoshi Sakimoto
2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? That’s a hard choice! I love taking in the local flavor and regional cuisine specialties unique to every city around the world. Chicagoland has a special place in my heart since I grew up there (looking forward to sharing the track with some Bruise Brothers sometime) but i can’t deny the excitement of traveling to a new place.
3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Bluebonnet Plague of Gotham Girls Roller Derby. She’s tough, fun, talented, smart, innovative, successful, and beautiful; the total package.
4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? Whichever ones let me hang up my tights/jeggings to air dry.
5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? There are so many fantastic MRDA skaters whose talent and skill pushes me to be better that I can’t even make a list without feeling like I’ve left too many off. No one has beaten me harder, physically and mentally, than my Shock Exchange teammates (in intraleague games, scrimmages, practices, barbecues, etc.) so they are the primary driving factor.
6) What is your favorite post-bout food? What is your favorite post-bout food? I like steak, pickles, chocolate milk, and soda.
Yesterday, NYSE barely squeezed out a win against a very hard So Disco crew. It was nerves of steel and experience that got them back into the game and victorious in the end, by only 5 points (including a nailbiting final jam that featured a fresh power jam for the Englanders). The Gatekeepers had a (relatively) easy time handling Bridgetown Menace last night and had a comfortable victory.
NYSE taking on Tyne & Fear at Mohawk Valley cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack
Today the Gatekeepers have to contend with a hungry crew of New Yorkers who understand they have to turn up their veracity. The Gatekeepers play like So Disco, if SDRD had more high level experience. The Gatekeepers understand that to get through said New Yorkers, they need to stay out of the box, and be persistent. Watching fan favorites (and Team USA team mates) Shane Bower against Jonathan R is going to make the morning exciting for sure.
This game kicks off the second day of River City Rumble at 9a CST on WFTDA.tv
Gatekeepers working as a team. Photo by Mr. McWheely
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? It’s different every year. NYSE has a song we warm up to every practice. It’s a great mental exercise to get the team in a mind frame. This year we’ve been playing Panama by Van Halen. 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? I’ve liked a lot of cities we’ve traveled to. I think the nicest was Tacoma, WA for Champs last season. The Pacific Northwest is beautiful. I’ve always wanted to live there, but never ended up living there, for no particular reason. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? I’m a big fan of all of the NYSE managers: Swede Hurt, Vicious Van Go Go, Miss Tea Maven and Sexy Slaydie. I think I like the way Slaydie plays most. She’s helped me get a lot quicker and I just like the style she uses. If I had to describe it, it’s a style in which you use all of your physical strengths to as much of an advantage as possible. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? It depends who needs a room. I’ve roomed a lot with Abe Drinkin over the past 2 years. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? I think it’s probably Tony Muse. Your Mom is at the top of the sport, and everyone wants that for themselves. I think his leadership of that team has pushed me to work harder. I want for NYSE what he has achieved with Your Mom. That makes me work harder, always. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Anything, really. I don’t have a post-bout ritual other than stretching, and drinking a bunch of water. If it’s a food I like, I’ll eat it post-bout.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? Song wise it’s either Adagio in D Minor or Heroes (Branchez remix) by Alesso 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? I really loved playing in Des Moines, it was so peaceful and calm and the surrounding area was picturesque, even though it was very flat I really enjoyed the peace and open space. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? My favourite WFTDA skater is Lexi Lightspeed, her footwork and track awareness is absolutely incredible! 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? When the team travels I spend a lot of time with Reaper, we shoot videos on long drives of us singing and we call it Shreaper FM. When it comes to rooming with teammates it all depends on who’s willing to share with me! 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Sully from Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder springs to mind, he’s just a super talented skater who popped up on the UK scene as another young talent. We get on pretty well so it’s always good to play against him.
Apart from that I’ve gotta say my teammates, we always push each other to be better and our team mentality has been on point. And then finally, although they’re not skaters, I have to mention our bench staff in Rob BG and Betty Swollox, the focus and commitment they have to the team is second to none and they’re constantly giving us the advice and guidance we need to strive and push to get better. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Post bout food is probably a really crispy apple, at least that tides me over until I can find as much cooked meat and pasta as I can possibly find.
NYSE is a continual powerhouse, and SoDisco are a dominant force in the UK. Shock has added some talented skaters since Mohawk Valley Cup, including Stankus (Quadfathers) and I Don’t Care Bear (Jersey Boys). SoDisco got some heavy hitters back, including Mr. Furieux and Ballistic Whistle. Both teams have a jammer rotation far deeper than its typical 3-man line-up would indicate.
NYSE v Tyne n Fear at Mohawk Valley Cup 2015. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
NYSE has, in the past, had better grinding wall work then SDRD, but the UK boys have been closing the gap of experience the past few years. Both teams have big hitters (Geoffrey vs Sutton, and Abe vs Spectral should keep us all entertained). This is sure to be a highly physical bout, NYSE doesn’t want to lose their place on the podium, and So Disco is hungry to be the first international team to medal.
Stream the 3/6 bout live on WFTDA.tv at 1pm CST on Saturday, October 17, 2015.
With an injury occurring the week before Champs, Southern Discomfort has changed their motto from #WakeUpLikeNanaki to #DoItForNanaki
Our goal is to win every game we play. Keep it simple, sexy. – Jonathan R
And New York Shock Exchange is making a good case that they’re going to do exactly that at Champs this weekend. As one of the oldest leagues in the world, and the first champions of the MRDA, NYSE has a long tradition of work ethic and dominance. Coming into Champs with a full, healthy roster (and a fire in their eyes from dropping to the #3 ranking) means that NYSE is going to battle every team like it’s the final.
Being an East Coast girl, I’m pretty familiar with the men of NYSE. Their friendly rivalry with Mass Maelstrom is the best we have seen in MRDA the Northeast. Getting the opportunity to go to Coney Island and see the evolution of NYSE over the years has been awesome.
Buster Cheatin takes away Cilantro’s momentum at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Photography
Part of why [I think] Shock Exchange has continued having success while other founding MDC (Men’s Derby Coalition) teams have dropped to the wayside is not just the fact that they have access to an enormous metropolitan area’s worth of skaters or that they have Gotham Girls as their Big Sisters. It’s that the coaching staff has remained open minded about new strategies and training opportunities, while the skaters themselves continually re-dedicate themselves to the goals of the team. NYSE has always been on the forefront of new strategy and pushing the boundaries of what their sheer amount of skill can do. When I asked captain (and Team USA skater) Jonathan R why he thinks Shock has remained at the top, he had a very similar idea:
We have a continuous drive to be better and push beyond barriers. This is exemplified in our commitment to having regular practices in perpetuity as we seek out new ideas.
That being said, NYSE has had [in the past] the same kind of problem that Puget Sound has. The older teams have a style of gameplay that can only be labeled “SuperStar”. NYSE, in the past, has simply been more talented on their wheels than their opponents. NYSE would rely on their jammers to do all the work, and their blockers would spread out, take swings and make huge hits (with a high rate of success) and it was enough to win.
KenboSlice goes toe to toe with Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
As other teams have started closing the gap in the last couple years, NYSE’s style has shifted. You still see shadows of the SuperStar play, but now you have power blockers like Buster Cheatin’ and Chris Szabo pulling the team together into walls. Walls which thwarted Mass Maelstrom by a significant amount both times they met this season; Walls that saved them against the Bridgetown Menace at RollerCon.
Shock’s style of teamwork in a pack is a bit unique to other teams (again, more similar to Puget). While they work together, and move as one fluid unit, they don’t have the contact with each other that other teams do. When watching Southern Discomfort (for example), the men link to teammates until engagement begins. While NYSE always clusters near each other, the links are never as prominent (I have noticed). The downside is their partner may be slightly further than desirable, the positive is that it saves them on the multi player blocks, forearms, and high blocks that plague many Top 8 teams. Plus, the skill and awareness of the skaters let them get away with this kind of ‘dropped arms’ linkage to one another.
NYSE sticks close to contain WildStyle of The Replacements at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
We shall see what happens at Champs with this. Mass Maelstrom is coming in with a bit of a chip on their shoulder and are focused on squarely and definitively beating NYSE. Their fluid diamonds and tight packs could be trouble for NYSE. If NYSE wins, they will square off against Southern Discomfort or the GakeKeepers. GK was the only loss of the year for Shock, while Shock was the only top 4 team that So Disco didn’t skate against when they came across the pond in the spring. All teams that face NYSE really have one thing to worry about if they want a shot at winning: NEUTRALIZE THEIR JAMMERS.
Particularly Jonathan R and Carnage Asada. Based on what I saw at RollerCon, they better keep a tight beat on I A M Havoc as well.
Jonathan R does not let physics restrain him at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography
I don’t even know how to explain how good Jonathan R is. It almost makes me mad when I watch him skate because I can’t wrap my head around how his simple, concise moves can translate into COMPLETE OBLITERATION OF THE DEFENSE. The man rarely looks like he’s even working. He is fluid, has complete control over physics (he may be a Time Lord), and even when he’s making RollerCon look like a CSI crime scene – the man is smiling and cheering on his team.
Carnage Asada doesn’t have the same ease to his skating that Jonathan R does. Highly effective with long legs and toe stop action to die for, Carnage’s plan is to make you over commit on your hit. He is patient and quick, breaking down a line one by one. Defenses are constantly having to shift from long fluid blocks and holds to contain Jonathan R, to the staccato speed of Asada. It makes them lose their rhythm. It simply works.
Carnage Asada does his thing at Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
Havoc is up and coming for sure. A new Shocker, Havoc had been on the Dow Jones average to develop is skills. If Carnage and Jonathan had a jamming love baby – it would be Havoc. No, seriously – don’t make that face at me. Havoc has fluidity in his ducks and jukes, but can stop on a dime and use lateral motion to throw off the opposition. Still adjusting to the speed of the game, Havoc hasn’t always had success against teams, but in the GateKeepers bout at RollerCon the entire crowd got to see him Level Up.
The slippery minx that is I A M Havoc at the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
In fact, I would say all of the NYSE rolled over experience point to gain a level during that GK bout. I’m going to say the thing that everyone has been thinking and whispering but no one has said in a public forum before: NYSE, in the past, has relied too heavily on jamming skill. Particularly Jonathan R’s magic feet. When he suffered a nose bleed at RC, the GK’s score steadily rose, Shock looked a bit lost without their fearless leader. But then they figured it out. Then, the entire bench of Shock had this moment where every single skater stepped up and made adjustments and did whatever they had to for success. Every jammer that was a secondary brought their game to the level that Shock needed it to be.
NYSE works as a team against Bridgetown Menace at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
If that team shows up for Champs? If Shock Exchange has maintained that level of “We need to do this as a team, we can’t rely on our jammers alone” – there is no question in my mind that they will smash through the first two rounds of their bracket while barely breaking a sweat. If they don’t work as a team, if they allow Maelstrom’s blockers to dominate in offense and defense, NYSE is going to have a hard bout ahead of them.
Teamwork at the GateKeepers at RollerCon. Photo by Brangwyn Jones.
Regardless, Shock is coming to play and I have a feeling we all are in for some amazing hard-hitting, strategy-driven, blow-your-mind roller derby.
Make sure you check out Shock Exchange’s Facebook to keep up with all the awesomeness that they have happening. The Dow Jones Average, NYSE’s B-team, is in the middle of an UNDEFEATED season! If you can get to a bout, you need to. Also, NYSE is raising money for SHOCK DOWN UNDER!!! They’re going on a tour of Australia with bouts and clinics on the docket, and they need a little help getting there. The FB has all the details and how you can support the strengthening of Men’s Roller Derby around the globe! Get hooked up with some rad NYSE merch at their online store.
The Boys from Boston are coming in with something to prove, and there is nothing more dangerous than a group of committed individuals that feel a bit slighted.
Mass Maelstrom is coming to champs in a lower seed than they may have anticipated, and two places lower than how they finished out last year’s championship despite only suffering losses to Your Mom’s Men’s Roller Derby and New York Shock Exchange this season. Coach Rich Gaudet (also known as Stryker) says that Maelstrom is coming into champs:
“To prove that we were robbed of our 4th place ranking going into championships and to get our new skaters playing against the best in the MRDA.”
Maelstrom is no stranger to fighting for recognition. They started off as part of a co-ed league and split off in 2010 to do their own thing. Stryker says it was through hard work and dedication of the core of the team that Maelstrom was able to debut at #10 in the MRDA in 2012 and break into the Champs seeding the same year by landing at #8. While other teams are chuck full of experienced skaters, that isn’t the case with Maelstrom:
“Maelstrom’s strength is directly related to both our ability to play as a team on the track and to implement and counter the most current winning strategies on the track. Since maelstrom is one of the smallest competitive teams (stature/size wise), and because many of us did not come from skating backgrounds our style of game play is directly tied to that: we play in tight walls and use game play strategy to make up for our lack of bulk and skating skill. Although we have some stand out skaters who can dominate a jammer on their own, most of the time we contain jammers behind a solid wall of small guys.”
Maelstrom isn’t all little guys. Bill Coulter is pretty infamous for making a statement on the track. Photo from ECDX 2014. By Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography
When you compare the stature of Mass against most MRDA teams – they do look generally small. Critical pack directors Terry Hasselmann (Peter Rottentail), R Pickering (Smiteochondria), and Mars Travolta are average height (at best) and certainly not hefty – they rely on deftness of movement to even the odds against opposing jammers. Overall, a fluid diamond formation or “around the world” style of play is very present in the Maelstrom blocking strategy, in order to give every blocker the best chance of leveraging their body weight against bigger opponents. Jammers like Cilantro and No Big Deal are not breaking any height barriers either. NBD uses brute force and quick, hammering edges to break packs wide open while John Collentro (Cilantro) falls back on pure acrobatics to obtain lead jammer (The kid is made of silly putty, I swear).
Wes Turn (Conlin) uses his edge to block during the Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
Ok, side note: you’re probably wondering why I’m using up your valueable time with making you read multiple names for all these guys. There was actually a bit of confusion during Champs last year for those streaming the Maelstrom bouts. The rosters were submitted with derby names, but [most of] the jerseys have real names on the back. Viewers at home weren’t sure which skater the announcers were talking about based on jerseys, and the announcers even confused themselves during their commentary.
Why the real names? Some of the guys are just done with derby names (I know a certain bunny who is particularly done with cheek of the fake names), while others see it as a way of really claiming the work they put into their skating and into their league. They are all very proud of what they do with Maelstrom and with smaller leagues in the greater Boston area; using their real names brings them a sense of professionalism and ownership for their accomplishments.
Alright, I’m back from the tangent.
2014 has been the season of ‘injures and real life’ for the Vikings of New England.
Terry Hasselmann usually blocks, but every now and again he gets to wear the star when the team needs him. Photo from Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack
Everything from a car accident kept two heavy rotation blockers out of the first half of their ECDX bout, to a series of key skaters getting injured, to a few skaters simply tipping their hat and taking a leave. It is roller derby. This is a contact sport, and injures happen. It is a hobby, and sometimes people must bow out for personal reasons. That does not mean that the team gives up, the deeper a bench, the more effective a team can be, even in a time of struggle. Gaudet commented on Maelstrom’s roster changes:
“Since we sustained injuries to half our roster over the course of this season our newest skaters had to step up and fill some big shoes, which they have done with flying colors. We have picked up two strong hockey skaters that are helping to round out our jammer rotation; all we need now is to get them some more skate time.”
The acrobatics of Jurasskick Park as captured at ECDX by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming.
Maelstrom’s first bout of Championships is against an old, familiar face: New York Shock Exchange. This will be the second year in a row that Maelstrom will face NYSE a total of 3 times [in 5 months]. Last year, their final match-up of the season was at the Mohawk Valley Cup, in the finals, and Maelstrom took the win by 20 points after having lost the previous two match-ups.
The first round of Champs could prove a similar Cinderella story. At ECDX and Mohawk Valley this year, NYSE proved too dominant for the Vikings. Despite not having a “full strength” roster, Mass does not consider themselves out of the competition. With two bouts against NYSE under their belt, and with the return of Coulter and Pickering to their bench, Maelstrom is restored to much of it’s 2013 strength. Both vet and newbies to the roster are ready for the classic rivalry match-up in the first round.
Vet Colleran holds onto returning skater Deep in Cider, while Velawesomeraptor and Mikeopathic Chiller hold the inside line. Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack 2014.
Fans (and NYSE) will be get to see new and old faces on the roster this weekend, including Deep in Cider who has returned to the Maelstrom line. Aside from the vets, you should keep an eye out for fresh faces Cormier and Velawesomeraptor as well as those who have worked their way up from the Bzerker B-Team such as the agile Mikeopathic Chiller and power blocker JBeast. Gaudet says of the team:
“Every one of skaters that step onto the track is a critical piece of our strategy puzzle, and thus [new fans] should be watching the overall cogs that make up the Maelstrom machine.”
Mars Travolta, Colleran, and Keith Webb work in unison to hold back NYSE at ECDX. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography
If you love Vikings and want to pick up merch, get info on upcoming clinics, or just to follow their season, you should definitely check out their Facebook page. Also, Mass Maelstrom has some wicked rewards going on right now on the MAELSTROM GOFUNDME so … Go Fund Them!! And make sure you tune into WFTDA.tv all weekend to watch the 2014 MRDA Championships. Thank you to Tyler Shaw and Hispanic Attack for the photos used in this article.
As a side note, Richard Gaudet would like you all to know that:
“No big deal is actually kind of a big deal.”
No Big Deal takes the outside lane at the championship bout of Mohawk Valley Cup. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
Khaos Theory Derby 