The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? I like to listen to #1 by nelly hahahaha 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Seattle, the city is awesome and the puget sound guys are a fun team to play against 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Crowe, she skates for the San Diego roller derby starlettes. One has tag says it all #croweknows hahaha the world will know about her soon enough. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I room with a couple of my favorites waterboy, boo, Bobby light and my bestie MO oweuone 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? B Stang for sure, I have skated with him and around him since we were young. He’s always been a step ahead of the rest. I work for him now and I use all that time with him to gain knowledge. In my opinion he’s the best skater in the world. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? I always order a pitcher of shirley temple hahaha
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? How we roll (fast five soundtrack) 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Ft Wayne. Just because we have been there so many times for spring roll I can drive around without gps. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Ms. Jaxem [Erin Jackson of Jacksonville Rollergirls]. She grew up in my home rink and seeing her go from rink rat to world champion speed skater and arguably the best jammer in wftda is awesome! 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I normally room with Chef, Bratz, or Moseley. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? I wouldnt say a particular skater, but Texas men’s has really impressed me this season and shown what hard work and practice can do. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? If it’s a tournament weekend, the Tour of Italy. It’s a team thing! Carb load!! 😀
The Aftershocks are generally an unknown in the MRDA.They played (and lost) to Puget earlier this season, but their roster has gradually increased with talent over the year. Magic City returns to Champs this year, and they are hungry to prove that they belong in the Top 5.
Taking on Denver. Photo by Joel Giltner
Both teams play with speed, and both teams prefer a face-to-face blocking game to rotating walls. The Aftershocks have world champions B Stang and Just Mike from Your Mom on their squad, and they bring high level experience to the squad.However, Streak has been ‘getting the band back together’ all year in Jacksonville, you can expect to see the unnecessary spins and extreme lateral coverage that has made MCM a fun team to watch.
East Coast versus West Coast happens on WFTDA.tv at 11am CST on October 17, 2015.
Bratz escapes a Gatekeeper pack. Photo by James Brady 2015
There’s been a “12 Reasons you should watch roller derby” buzzfeed article floating around. Guess what, folks? Some of it they got right! Some of it they got eeeehhhhh…..
So I’m rebooting this blog! It was one my first popular article on Examiner.I’ve re-written some of the explanations, but I’ve kept the headlines the same. 2010 derby or 2015 derby, these are still the 10 reasons you should watch roller derby. (PS Most derby leagues still don’t have seating, so you may want to pick up a Coleman Stadium Seat for your comfort at the game.)
The WOW factor How many of your friends watch roller derby? If the answer is “many”, then maybe there is something to this. Maybe they have an in on something. If your answer is “none”, you can introduce your circle to the fast-growing sport on the planet. How cool does that make you look? Roller derby is a completely unique, high-impact sport that is totally inclusive of age, gender, nationality, etc. It is an international phenomenon that grows every year. In 2018, the third Roller Derby World Cup took place in Manchester, England, hosting 38 countries, including the Czech Republic, Korea, and West Indies. Barcelona is the stage for the third Men’s Roller Derby World Cup in April 2018, where 24 teams, including Japan, Chile, and Denmark will compete. The speed, power, and finesse on 8 wheels is enough to keep you entertained, even if your local team isn’t allowed to sell beer!
Texas took on Missouri in the men’s championship of State Wars in December 2014, with hard hits and fast feet. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
The social works of derby teams Roller derby teams are often non-profit organizations themselves; regardless you will find your local teams out at charity events and raising money for good causes at their home bouts. Tens of thousands of dollars have been raised worldwide for charities. Whether promoting suicide prevention, helping wounded animals, collecting for homeless shelters, promoting love as love, or helping a city rebuild after tragedy, derby has covered the spectrum of charitable causes. The Girls on Track Foundation was founded to keep young girls involved in the sport of roller derby, thus building their confidence, courage, and leadership skills. Locally, our own Tampa Roller Derby is involved with Big Cat Rescue and Girls on the Run,
Athletic prowess These are athletes. Teams practice between two and six times a week, and the participants work out beyond their practice limits. Yoga, crossfit, powerlifting, Spartan Races, aerial silks… the cross-training of roller derby knows no limits.
Impressed by your favorite hockey player doing fancy footwork and scoring points? Wait until you see Lil Slinky of Stockholm duck and dance through the pack effortlessly. Get hyped up by your favorite safety playing all over the field defense? You will love seeing Alli Kat Scratch of the Tampa Tantrums crush the hopes and dreams of her opponents. The feats of agility and pure strength are display at any game (whether it’s the 500-person strong Rose City Rollers or 20 strong Twin City Terrors).
PHDiesel makes a lap for Team Florida at State Wars. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
“Any Given Sunday” Just like in any other mainstream sport, roller derby has the “any given Sunday” mantra. The Oly Rollers came out of nowhere in their first season as a WFTDA* team, and took the Hydra as the underdog. It is possible for any team to sweat and bleed their way to beating a giant of roller derby. Tournament play has seen a lot of international teams come in and shock the world with their undeniable strength. Teams from the United Kingdom, Germany, and Australia have been doing damage in WFTDA and MRDA** rankings the past few years.
Less expensive than a movie date
An American movie date can easily breach $75 (IMAX anyone?), and if you’re counting dinner, you can bet on a night breaking $100. Yes, there are some games that offer beer or full entrees (thank you Charm City). Yes, buying merch from Tampa’s Wrecking Mall might up your final cost for the night. However, most teams still play in roller rinks with small concessions and bake sales. A derby date can easily stay under $30! Derby encourages interaction and conversation, whether you are with one person or a group, and it’s way better than sitting awkwardly in a dark theatre with your Tinder date. Bring them to derby!
Who needs a movie when you can be next to the action? Photo by Phantom Photographics
Community! The roller derby community is a very inclusive place; if it’s a tailgate kind of game (you can check with the league on their event page ahead of time), get a group together and hang out in the parking lot. My first team was notorious for cookouts and beer trading in the parking lot of the Olympic Skating Center before games. Groups often mix and mingle. Don’t know what’s going on during the game? Ask the people beside you (or look for someone with a “Ask me about derby” sign). Regardless of the side you are rooting for, everyone is super friendly and inclusive. You will make friends in the fans, the refs, and the league members themselves. Labels and judgement have no place in our house, so come one, come all!
Direct interaction with athletes
How many sports teams offer one-on-one time with their athletes? Every game and after party is a meet and greet, and leagues host events throughout the year where you can meet your favorite skaters. You can catch up with league scores from those directly involved, and can really feel like a part of the organization even as a fan. Websites like Flat Track Stats even gives you chance to follow how your favorite travel teams are doing, even if the team hasn’t received official sanctioning ranking. With the popularity of tournaments growing in roller derby, keep your eyes peeled to your team’s social media, it’s likely their travel games will be live streamed at some point. Then you can even watch them from home.
Junior derby is gaining momentum! Your son or daughter can play, or you can watch the future of derby at local events. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
Unique characters Mainstream sports are chuck full of big characters, and roller derby does not disappoint. Be warned: It is not make-up and fishnets. It is the heart, soul, blood and tears that they pour into their work that make these athletes into giants and idols. Big characters in derby are the big hits, the big jams, and acrobats on skates. Whether your team matches in black compression pants, or dons old school mis-matched DerbySkinz and stickers on helmets, you will see the personalities on and off skates. It’s not just the skaters that make the game exciting: The announcers of roller derby are some of the most colorful characters you can imagine. Plus they are super knowledgeable about the game, so make friends with them.
You might find a new love Skaters, refs, NSOs***, announcers, medics, and coaches have to come from somewhere. Often, they come from the audience. Fans, friends of the fans, and the munchkins of fans are the future of roller derby. Even if you never end up skating, your support is vital to your league. Being a fan and posting about the games, inviting your friends to the events, watching WFTDA.tv, watching the YouTube archives of bouts… it spreads the goodwill of derby to people outside of the community who may never have heard of derby before. Or, maybe they went to a game three years ago and “have been meaning to return”. Maybe you can be the one to remind them to spend a Saturday night at the rink.
Derby is always looking for more officials to help at games. Skates not required! Photo by Phantom Photographics.
It’s just plain FUN The excitement is infectious. Regardless of your familiarity with the sport, the skill and strength of roller derby pulls you in. It is impossible to resist cheering as your jammer breaks through the pack. Try not to flinch when your team knocks an apex jump out of the air. The more you learn about your league, the more fun you will have each game. BUT the only way to learn more is to actually go!
Calling it off! Photo by Phantom Photographics.
If you have been pushing off attending a roller derby bout, it’s time to get off of Facebook and head to the rink. Friends, excitement, and real social networks await you. Youtube offers some great fan tutorials, or wait until you get there and inquirein person. Spend some time at your local games. You’ll be cheering more than at a Marvel movie, you’ll get closer to the action than nosebleed seats at Lincoln Financial, and you will build relationships unlike anything else you have experienced before.
*Women’s Flat Track Derby Association
**Men’s Roller Derby Association
***Non-Skating Official
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Thunder City Derby Sirens Photo by Phantom Photographics
What makes us want to be on a roller derby team?
I’ve been thinking about this topic for months. Tried writing a blog a few weeks ago and I couldn’t actually translate my feels into a coherent written structure. I’m not talking, “Why do we love the sport?” or “Why do we join a league?” But rather, what drives us all to make a travel team? Or be drafted to a home team?
Before my home league’s travel team votes on the charter, each skater gets to talk about what they had to offer, and why they wanted to be a part of the team. It was interesting to hear the answers from those dropping their name in the hat for the all-stars versus the b team. There was quite the difference in theme of statement from one team to the other. I realized that those going for the the all-stars had a much different theme of answer than those wanting to be on our b-team. It got me thinking more and more about WHY we want to play on teams so badly.
If you ask a derby skater why they want to be on a team, the most common answer you’ll probably get is: “I want to play in bouts!” (Or do I call them games in the blog now?) **winky face**
They want to travel. They want to play other opponents. They want to prove themselves. Playing in bouts is a bit about the attention of everyone watching you, but should also be about the practical applications of skills and drills. Bouts are the place we test ourselves against an opponent to see if we have improved. I have been on many teams at this point, and I can say that being in a bout means different things based on the culture your team builds.
Tampa Roller Derby on our way to Texas for a weekend of the derbs.
Some teams value bouts strictly as ranking potential.
Some teams just want to enjoy the fun of the sport; including all that boutfitting, production shenanigans, and after parties offer up as they play against your family from a different city.
Some teams want to try out what they have been drilling in practice, to see how their strength and mobility have improved.
Some teams play bouts just to raise money in their home venue and have their friends and family come and watch them do the thing that they love.
Some teams work really well together on bout day, and everything is low stress and fun.
Some teams may work together, but tension runs so high that benches become explosive.
Maybe a team just has that one player that yells at refs or complains about calls, and because they’re a “superstar”, the behavior isn’t squashed. That behavior spreads to the rest of the team, and the bench becomes a 3 headed monster.
Maybe the bench coach is that one superstar yelling.
Or maybe everyone loves each other and the sport so much that everyone is just focused on the fun of the game.
I should mention that teams don’t always take the time to create a culture. Some are self-aware enough to create a mission statement of culture to promote and strive for. Most derby teams, I have seen, do not even understand that a culture has manifested through coaching habits, attendance enforcement, and superstar treatments. Sometimes an awesome derby culture of fun and support is born organically through individuals gathering for a common purpose. Too often, I have seen leagues succumb to the expectation that certain players get praise and playtime, and those players can do and say no wrong. Everyone else are plebeians and must fall in line and teach themselves.
If you just had an ‘ah-ha’ moment, recognizing that your team has not given itself a Culture Goal (or worse, you’re in one of those cancerous league situations!), maybe it’s time to sit with your steering committee and decide on some core values for the league and individual teams.
Molly Rogers line up against the Rolling Renegades of Sarasota. Photo by Phantom Photographics
Many cultures have this idea rooted into their core values without realizing it: “You will play bouts when you are on the travel team, and we do this to play in bouts.” So the skater immediately begins lobbying for a spot on the travel team, despite dedication. Despite training. Despite safety. Despite their willingness to play on a team. Endgame, we are taught, is: PLAY IN BOUTS.
I have a radical suggestion for you, Roller Derby:
You should not want to be on a team to play bouts. You should want to be on a team to practice roller derby.
Wait, what?
You should want to be on a team to PRACTICE roller derby.
What do I mean?
I mean we need to adjust our mindset.
Bouts are fun, yes. Bouts are what count towards our ranking, absolutely. Bouts are the culmination of our practice time and work together, yes. But it’s just 60 minutes on the clock.
I am not saying we should undervalue bouts, or want to play in them less. Rather, I think we all need to shift focus to being excited for practice time. Most of Roller Derby practices at least twice a week. You are spending far more time with your team in drill, skill, and endurance situations than you are in bout situations.
I do my best to not even worry when my next bout is, because my intensity does not change from practice to practice. I do not show up with different intentions or drive when I know a roster is being decided that night. Every practice is 110%. I pay for this time on the track, so I am going to love it and use it. If I am put on a roster, great! If I’m not, it’s OK because I have practice again Sunday night. I know I won’t be short on derby for the weekend.
Too often skaters put so high a priority on bout day that all they think about is making the roster. They show up just in time, and with just enough intensity to play in the bout. If we could shift the prevailing thought in roller derby to be less “BOUT DAY!!!” and more “PRACTICE DAY!!” think of how many people would value their drill time more? How much would attendance change?
Bout day is a priority because Roller Derby puts an emphasis on it.
To me it is just as fun and invigorating to stop Tazmaniac in a wall drill in practice, as it is to stop her in a bout day situation. Putting our focus on the awesome of practice means more excitement, which means more bodies, which means more opportunities for strategy and teamwork. Which will, unsurprisingly, lead to MORE SUCCESS ON BOUT DAY.
Slayor Moon Rojo Grande, Pup, and Splatypus ready for the Molly Rogers jammer. Photo by Phantom Photographics
When practice time is the center of attention, you can focus on goals as an individual and as a team mate. You can put your energy into what is being practiced instead of worrying about making the next roster.
When your focus is practice, not bout day, you think about your daily cross training differently, and with the mind of making practice better. You know you’re going to be doing five minute jams at practice on Monday, so what can you do on your off day, Saturday, to improve your conditioning for it? Thinking about that every week builds into months and then years of cross training, almost by accident!
When you focus on practice, you get to struggle and laugh with all of your team mates in all the different situations. You get to love the sport and the nuance of the sport.
When our focus is bout day, we get caught up in the spotlight of it. We get caught up in the pressure of performance, but when we focus on practice day, we are all Superstars, and egos are left at the door because no one is watching. When our focus is practice, we work hard for two hours at a time. If we can work hard for two hours, we can definitely work hard for our piece of 60 minutes.
Practice is the proving ground for bout day.
Practice is where we get to push ourselves and learn.
Practice is where we get to high five our family and celebrate victories.
Practice is where we get to tell our friends that bad days happen, and that one bad practice will not equate to a lifetime of failure in the sport.
Practice is where we get to put our head down and do work.
If your heart doesn’t beat with excitement when prepping for training (sometimes up to 5 in a week), why are you in the sport?
Glory should come from within. Achievement should be felt when doing something awesome with your team mates. This is no longer an individual sport. No longer should we put the spotlight on those who have talent, who don’t come to practice or fundraisers or do committee work.The spotlight should be on the weekly warriors who sweat with each other and create the bonds that only practice time can.
Practice IS our sport. I feel like the leagues that recognize and promote that in their culture, have the most success over the long term.
Stop counting down to bout day. Start counting down to Monday.
For coaching and nutrition help for all athletes, or to ask questions, propose blog ideas, or just give feedback, leave me a comment, or drop me a line at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com. I’m always booking league coaching for all levels.
Don’t forget to visit Phantom Photographics’ Facebook to purchase photos and ask him about his cool shirts.
Like my EAT BIG PLAY BIG notes, this is not going to be a verbatim dissertation of what we went over, but more the bullet points of things we talked about and maybe some WHYs involved. We talked about nutrition too, but because I have my notes posted from EBPB up and running, why don’t you just check them out and get the full picture of the athletic nutrition.
WHAT I MEAN BY LIFTING WEIGHTS
Big lifts – Build all over strength and power, utilizes the full bar
Barbells – Build stabilization muscles and helps support big lifts, small movements, and quick twitch.
Free Weights – Barbells and bars; your body must do the work to keep things in place
Plate/Smith Machine – Training wheels; no real accurate measure of weight. Some plate machines are useful (like the leg extension) but usually you can pass by these.
Cable Machines – The baby of free weights and plate-loaded; there is some stabilization work done here.
Free weights and cables should be used as your supplemental workouts. Like your vitamin and protein supplements, they are the extra stuff you do to support the mainline of work. They should not be your primary form of ‘weight lifting’. Mostly because you’re not really lifting weights when you do them.
WHY SHOULD YOU WEIGHT LIFT?
The easy answer is: Because you play a contact sport.
Gnat King Kill getting it done. Strength effects speed and control. It allows him to deal with fast skaters and bigger blockers.
Show me one contact sport that does not require their athletes to weight lift. If your coach tells you to do dry land drills, do you question? No. You question weight lifting because it’s different and new and super difficult. The resistance to lifting in roller derby is not because it’s not helpful or proven to advance skaters – it’s because it takes more effort to do it. And, honestly, it can be intimidating.
From the physics standpoint think of this reason why you should weight lift:
If you can only squat 130 pounds, that means you can only push that much weight (approximately) into your wheels. If you have someone who is 170 pounds hitting you, but you can only respond with 130 pounds – who is going to win?
This is a very basic, crude example, but hopefully you get the point.
Why bench press? I learned during Beat Me Halfway that if you have Magnum PIMP doing truck-and-trailer with you, your arms and core better be able to hold up to the resistance he’s giving you. If he then directs you into a full-speed Screecharound, your arms and body have to be able to deal with as much power as he’s putting into you to transfer to your skates, to transfer to Screecharound to take him all the way to the line.
Arm strength has just as much a place in derby as leg strength these days, as illustrated by the Mass Maelstrom blockers. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography
PHYSICS!
(and also, I was so sore the next day)
If you can push a sled with 150 pounds on it, you can push through a link giving you 100 pounds of resistance.
WHAT IS CONDITIONING?
We talked a lot about lift days verse conditioning days.
Your lift days are just that. You’re picking up heavy weight. Your conditioning days involve cardio work, particularly HIIT. This is your tire flips, your hill runs, your wind sprints, your heavy plyometrics. If you do Crossfit, those WoDs should be your conditioning days … so the extra days. WoDs every day will not build your strength the way lift days will.
Myself and McJagged picked up heavy things and moved them around, jumped on walls, and moved around kettlebells for conditioning work
WHAT DOES THIS FEEL LIKE?
Like with derby, we have to adjust to a new feeling when we start weightlifting. If you’ve done plate machines in the past, then you are not used to what it feels like to have 180# on your back, or to pick up 200#.
It feels heavy. It feels miserable sometimes. It feels like you might hurt yourself. Just like it feels when you’re doing a new advanced skill on roller skates. Like those one foot “chomps” or one foot plows.. Picking your foot up and putting it down in front of you, with your toes turned in and your knees touching? That’s terrifying! I was sure I was going to break my leg. I didn’t. And you won’t break your shit just because it feels heavy.
It’s supposed to feel heavy. That’s the point.
DO I NEED SPECIAL GEAR?
Not necessarily.
I wear knee wraps because I can feel things shift around in my right knee when I squat and it’s weird and I don’t like it. With lighter weight, you don’t need belts, wraps, wrist grips. As you start lifting, talk to people around you about the gear they have. You’ll learn when you’ll need to get a belt, or if you want to get gloves.
Wear flat shoes or no shoes. Those weird toe shoes? They actually work really well for lifting. So do Chuck Taylors. So does nothing. Just like you wouldn’t buy Bonts for your first pair of skates, you shouldn’t go buy the special fit lifting shoes before you start lifting.
WHAT ARE THE LIFTS I SHOULD DO?
No questions asked you need to do:
Squat
Deadlift
Bench Press
Lifts that I think you should incorporate:
T-bar Row
Front Squat
Hack Squat
Incline Bench
Sumo Deadlifts (or Sumo/Russian)
Upright Row
Overhead Press
WHAT SUPPLEMENTAL LIFTS SHOULD I DO?
This one is tough. It depends on your programming. Ones that I make sure I incorporate:
Leg Extension
Glut-Ham Raise
Pull-Up
Hanging Leg Raise
Bent Over Row
Lat Pull Down
Seated Row
WAIT – HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TO DO?
Guess what? More reading for you!! What I recommend to EVERYONE is to pick up Mark Rippietoe’s “STARTING STRENGTH”. There is an app you can download called 5x5Stronglifts that will help you through the whole process.
Here’s the idea that I can pass on to you that I started with… 5×5. So you’re doing 3 lifts each day, 5 times, 5 reps. This does not include your 5 rep warm-up. When my plan was set for me, we did one lift for the upper body, one for the back, one for the legs.
I then did 1 or 2 supplemental lists each day (unless I was crazy spent). Getting someone to help you set up a training plan around your skating schedule is awesome. I had a couple people helping me along the way. And don’t be afraid to tweak your schedule as you progress. After your first four weeks, you should be in a routine, but before that it’s ok to move things around and figure out what works best for you!
Learn form on your own through the BUFF DUDES series. They’re really a great, short series of tutorials.
HOW DO I KNOW HOW MUCH TO LIFT?
Again, having a friend that knows lifting is helpful here. If you don’t, go to your gym and find the biggest dude or lady who is both strong in the upper and lower body (or ask someone at the desk of who to ask), and humbly request help.
Think of it this way: If someone came up to you at an open skate and said, “Hey you look like you know what you’re doing. I’m trying to get into roller derby, but I don’t know how to plow stop, can you watch me real quick to help me?” You’re not going to tell them to fuck off. Lifters feel the same way about their sport. I promise they’ll be nice to you.
Step one is to find your personal record (PR), also known as your one rep max (1RM).
Do not plan on doing your 5×5 during max days. You also shouldn’t try to max out multiple workouts for the same body part. For example, don’t try to max out back squat and front squat on the same day.
To max out, do your warm up weight (people can help you figure out what that would be… for me, my deadlift warm up has ALWAYS been 135#, and my squat started at 100#, bench was 45# … these are good starting points). Do 5 reps. Your buddy can help you go up in weight. Do 3 reps. Then up in weight and do 1 rep until you can’t move it. Boom. 1RM.
Plugging these maxes into your 5×5 Stronglift app will create a nice little “oh this is what I lift today” guide for you. You can contact me if you want something more specific.
You call it extreme, I call it “what it feels like 185# on my back”
SO I JUST LIFT FOREVER NOW?
Things can change up, but yes, now you just lift. In a 5×5 program, I do like incorporating a deload week either on week 5 or 6. A deload week is when you do your lifts, but at 50% of your max. It gives your body a chance to recoup.
When I first started this program, I was going up in weight for some of my lifts each week, not up for others. The stronglift app helps you with that.
Setting goals will help keep you focused and your training tight so that way you don’t get bored.
OTHER NOTES
You will plateau. You will have bad days at the bar. It happens. Just like derby. Sometimes you have enough sleep, you’re hydrated, you’ve eaten enough, and you just can’t squat the bar the way you did the week before. It’s ok. It happens. Seriously.
This can be new and can be scary. Just like derby. Don’t be put off from lifting by yourself because “You don’t want to hurt yourself”. There is just as much risk for injury in this sport as others. If you play derby, you know that you can have someone there with you, you can be in the process of being coached, and you can do one thing and still hurt yourself. Don’t fear injury for the sake of fearing injury.
You are probably not going parallel on your squats. If you have never squatted before, start with BOX SQUATS. Your new gym bro can find a good box for you. It should be low enough that when you sit on it, your legs create an angle lower than 90 degrees.
Your back is going to hurt. That’s because this will be the first time you’re fully using your back for a lift. All the time I hear “Oh man, my low back hurts! I must not be deadlifting right.” Or you’re deadlifting exactly right and you’re using muscles you never have before. Your back is going to hurt.
If your back is weak, your squats will suffer. “What?? But squats are a leg lift!” Yes, but the bar is on your back. So if you can’t support the bar, you can’t squat it. It’s possible that your squats may be lighter than what your legs can handle at first, because your back is not strong enough.
RECORD YOURSELF SO YOU CAN SELF-CRITIQUE AND GET NOTES FROM FRIENDS. It seems super narcissistic, but you can correct between sets sometimes! You can send the video to your friends from around the country and say “Hey is this parallel?” or “what am I doing wrong?”
When you’re lifting, EYES UP HIGH! Pick a spot towards the ceiling, look at it. Do not look side to side. Keep your weight on your heels, you should be able to wiggle your toes.
I think that’s about it!
Drop me a line if you want some extra help or have other questions about setting up your program. Your offseason program is going to be different than your in-season program, so I can help you with that stuff too. When in doubt, read books! 531, Beyond 531, and Starting Strength are the ones that have been recommended to me. Drop me a message at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com with questions or if you have anything you want me to address.
They are a ‘super team’ of flat track women and men from the East Coast who are coming together to play the Penn Jersey Hooligans on the bank track on Saturday, September 28. Check out more information about the double header on FACEBOOK or on the flyer at the bottom of the article. The Outlaws face off against the Hooligans at 3:30p and then the PA All Stars take the track against the She Devils afterwards.
For fans of Team Rogue, you’ll see some familiar skaters on the roster when you come to the event. The Outlaws came together to take Rogue’s place in the double header action, and fans will not be disappointed with the power houses taking the track. I thought you would want an introduction for your team in white and blue. Thank you to photogs Juan Paden, Walter Romero, Tyler Shaw and DCRG and CTDQ for photos.
So who are the members of the East Coast Outlaws?
Raven Darkhold (River City Rollergirls)
Raven is a monster blocker and a fearsome jammer on the flat track. As a member of Team Rogue, Raven was a critical blocker in the back of the pack for controlling jammers throughout the Derby Ink tournament.
Buster Skull (Salisbury Rollergirls)
If you don’t have a derby crush on Buster now, you will by the end of the game. She won the hearts of Derby Ink when she wore the Rogue yellow & green for her quick feet and her ability to smash up opposing players. She is small, but she is mighty.
Bam Bam Brawler (Charlottesville Derby Dames)
On the flat track, she is magnetically repelled by the lines (just try and pull a cut track on her). On the bank track, she is a leader and a powerhouse. A key Team Rogue pivot, Bam Bam used her experience to help Rogue control and pick apart teams they faced. (And she even got to use those quick feet to score some points)
Merry Khaos (Dutchland Derby Rollers)
Utility is the name of the game for Khaos on the bank track. Fans know her to hold the star during flat track games, using footwork and spins. On Team Rogue she got to show off her booty blocking and lateral control, taking some of the strongest skaters to the rail, or off the track.
Pearl Jammer (CT Rollergirls)
This photo is just magic.
Some believe she is made of solid granite. Pearl’s jamming is no joke and her blocking is some of the fiercest you’ll see. She is a true weapon of the Outlaws. This will be her first time on a bank track, or playing MADE rules, but that won’t hold her back.
Hits Happen (CT Death Quads)
I couldn’t find an action shot of him skating forward so you get his head shot.
MRDA teams don’t like seeing Hits in the blocker rotation. He is notorious for blinding hits and never giving up on the jammer. He is a solid piece of any Death Quad front wall. This will be his first time on the bank track, we’ll see how he adjusts to skating FORWARDS for the entire bout!
Frightmare (DC Rollergirls)
Persistent, wily and explosive are words often associated with this bank track first-timer. At DC she makes her mark with footwork and power. It will be awesome to see how she translates it to the bank track.
Dirty Frank (CT Death Quads)
A rookie even to MRDA, Dirty Frank has shown that he is no joke. He is strong and agile and is an important blocker for the Death Quads, having picked up on the speed change aspect of the game very well. His first time dealing with a bank track should be fun to see.
Hu Dat (Charlottesville Derby Dames)
Always a crowd favorite, Hu Dat is fearless with a jammer star. She has bursting speed and quick feet that belie her years in roller derby. Watch for Hu when blocking though, she can swing her hips better than seasoned vets. She is eager for her first bank track game.
Sharp Shredder (DC Rollergirls)
Another vet of the flat track, Shredder tears up the DC Armory with the jammer star and isn’t afraid to jump an apex or two. Beware her power hits when she’s blocking. She’ll take you right off of your skates. Like teammate, Frightmare, this will be Sharp’s first time climbing onto the bank track.
Starsky (Jersey Boys Roller Derby)
POWER. That’s what Starsky has to his advantage. As a member of the Vice Squad at Derby Ink, he was able to leave a mark on his opponents. At the Derby Q2’s All Star scrimmage, he was also able to speed by his opponents as jammer, impervious to their blows.
Other Outlaws that won’t be joining us this time around….
For a few years now I have heard of this phenomenon called “CrossFit”. I was first introduced to the concept when the Black Rose Rollers (in … their second season perhaps?) struck a sponsorship deal with their local gym and begin training.
I’ll admit – I was instantly jealous.
That just LOOKS amazing.
I would see photos of my friends dead lifting and squat pressing alongside a guide and I wanted in. I didn’t care how. There was a piece of me that knew then that I needed to be a part of the movement.
But I wasn’t. I continued on doing my own thing. Slowly, more and more of my friends and derby-colleagues began partaking in CrossFit. People became obsessed with it; outsiders called them crazy. I understood the obsession – I have been skating for 4 years for a reason. From the outside I look crazed and obsessed. From the inside: how could you not be a part of this world?
Then, with any popular craze, the haters came in.
“It’s dangerous.” “You’ll ruin your body.” “They’re all about speed, not about form.”
And there was a part of me that believed them. I knew that there were competitions for CrossFit, and I heard so many negative comments about speed vs form, that I just started to believe them. It didn’t dull my desire to do CrossFit, but it just made me leery.
Then my team mate, the undeniably strong Russian Bayou, began her sessions. I asked her about it a lot (hopefully not too much); I was just so curious to know what it was about. How was it with her knee? Do they work with you? Is it all speed?
((There are times where I wonder if Bayou just wants me to stop talking to her because I get super excited (like a small yappy dog) and just ask questions.)) Through Bayou, and other league mate’s interest in her training and advancement, Dutchland was able to land a sponsorship with our local CrossFit: CrossFit Collective.
YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
My meniscus is pinched.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ok, fast forward. This week I went to my first two sessions of CrossFit. Friends across the country were stoked that I was finally going to “drink the kool aid”. I was finally going to see why they love it.
Yea. I totally get it.
“Portrait of the day after CrossFit”
This isn’t a gym where you walk in and are left to your own devices to sweat or not sweat as you please. This is a place to advance. To push past every boundary your mind has ever set for itself. It is a place to make the weak, strong; and to make the strong, invincible.
The speed aspect? Some of the workouts have time limits. So in my first session, we had a superset of 1) Farmer’s Carries 2) 6 burpies and then 3) 6 wall balls from the side, both sides. So you would do 1, 2, 3 in succession. The goals was to do 5 rounds of them OR you stop when 10 minutes hits. With 80 pounds for my farmer’s carries and a 10 pound medicine ball, I was able to do the 5 sets in just under 9 minutes.
Not bad for my first day.
We used the bar and we got to experience the cardio/plyo/weight training of my dreams.
Now today … we did dead lifts. Ok, I got that. Jesse Blames taught me awesome form. (THANK YOU, JESSE BLAMES!!! ALL THE KNOWLEDGE FROM YOUR SESSIONS HAS BEEN INVALUABLE!!) Then we went outside.
Sled pushes. Tire flips. Teams.
Me and Jocie, Incollision and Tot Annie were pairs on the same team. As we flipped, they pushed. Each pair had to push the sled to the end of the lot and back 4 times; as they pushed the sled, we were to flip the tire. There was grunting, groaning, dirt, swearing, crying and a nearly dehydrated team member. We completed the 8 laps in 21:20. Our group did a total of 154. Jocie and I did about 110 on our own. My fingers haven’t hurt like this since my climbing days. My biceps have NEVER hurt like this before.
TIRE FLIPS ETC!
Congrats to all the ladies that finished!! Two (Nelly Hurtado and White Winged Shove) are even skating tonight in bouts!!
So there you have it. CrossFit. Do it. It’s a mental game. It’s great to do it with people for the encouragement. Jocie definitely helped me push through and overcome the mental game.
No matter how confident a skater may sound, she is lying when she says, “Oh no. It doesn’t hurt that badly. I’ll be fine!”
In her head and heart she is seriously wondering what is going to happen when she puts her skates on. She is honestly worried that she will not be able to push, turn or stop. Even if she can, can she cut? Juke? Thrust? Can she be an effective derby player, not just an effective roller skater?
I hobbled from my car to the rink. I hobbled through the rink to the locker room area. I did my best to tell everyone I was ok, just a little slip at graduation – nothing to fear! Inside though, I was absolutely trembling of what was to come.
I already have deep-seated fear issues from my injury last October that I have been diligently working on uprooting. Now I have a new injury? On the other side of my leg? That can be agitated from slipping in dress shoes? Well damn.
My team mates are awesome.
The Dutchland All Stars – photo by Scott Johnson
My coach, Jocelyn Bassler, told me to just be honest if it hurt too much. Captain Laverne N Surly told me to let Shots know if I needed a break during the game and not to feel ashamed about it.
Treasure Chest told me to ‘fuck it, man. Just go for it’.
She shrugged at me, as she does, and continued to gear up. I made the decision right then to do as she said.
I wrapped up the knee (Using some of the capsaicin in the mix which ended up being more burny than I EVER expected) and I gave it a shot. I drank my 24 Prepare/Hydrate mix to give me that spark of “Whatever! I have so much energy that I can do anything!” and I found out quickly that if I stayed low in PROPER derby position .. It really didn’t hurt. So much that even if I popped up for a quick move, it still didn’t hurt! Ok. Ok. I can do this. No fear. Aggression.
And then something even more amazing happened. The Dutchland All Stars clicked. We played like the team we can be. The defensive blocking was absolutely spot on. The offensive blocking was appropriate and controlled. The Cape Fear Roller Girls were awesome to play. Everyone had fun. Everyone played solid, hard-hitting derby.
Did shit happen during the game? Yes. It’s a high impact sport on roller skates. People get knocked around a bit. But there were not tempers flaring, which is the way I prefer my roller derby. I prefer it hard, fast and FUN.
Khaos attack! by Jim Rhoades
I had my best bout in months. I had maybe my best bout EVER. I only got to jam seven times during the bout, but (with my family looking on) I was able to focus in to the strength and power that I know I have. I was able to score 70 points. I was able to get lead jammer 86% of my jams. I was able to juke and accelerate past opposing blockers. I was able to power through on starts, and take advantage of holes on my way through the pack.
Cape Fear had some awesome positional blocking and definitely played with my head on a few jams. They had some great heavy-hitters and some awesome recycling. They definitely kept me on my toes (and many times, on my behind). I felt like, for the first time in a long time, I was just really good at avoiding the hits coming at me, or rolling off the ones that hit, or absorbing hits as I worked towards the middle of the track.
Ducking past – by Scott Johnson
It’s been a while since I felt very confident in my ability to misdirect my motion, or roll off of a hit to SUCCESSFULLY take advantage of a hole, but on Saturday I did it. It was also fantastic to hear (every time I passed the bench when she wasn’t on the floor) Treasure Chest yelling: “You got this!” “One more lap!” “You’re faster than her!” “Push!” “Don’t you call it!”
Treasure Chest. Photo by Jim Rhoades
My team mates did a lot of amazing stuff too – I have to throw a shout out to Marie Antiothreat who, in a moment of amazing awareness (with just herself an Bayou on the track in a power jam situation) – was able to knock the jammer out of bounds at the edge of the engagement zone so hard that the jammer fell. This gave Marie the opportunity to not just run back TO the pack, but she was able to Mohawk along the inside line PAST the entire Cape Fear team to force the jammer almost 20 feet BEHIND the pack. It was pretty glorious, I have to say.
So this was Saturday against Cape Fear. It was a great confidence boost for going into Spring Roll (which the goal there is – HAVE FUN). I know that my quick twitch endurance is not what it should be (these injuries have really halted my plyometric routine) but I am focusing on getting that stronger currently.
I also have to say that this time around I was on my usual routine of tabs (Multivitamin, Cell Activator, Herbalifeline, Total Control and 2x a day dose of Niteworks) and I felt a definite alertness difference. I didn’t even need the LiftOff that I had made for the second half. My long endurance was fantastic. My short burst was still very good – I just forget that when my short burst is good it means I push harder.
So sites are set on Spring Roll. Nutrition is getting a bump this week (less carbs, more protein, more veggies) and I guess we’ll see what happens next!
If you’re interested in getting a bump in your nutrition or athletic performance, drop me a message at KGreyActiveNutrition@gmail.com
What is a Sweat-A-Fit? It is a fundraiser by LETSMOVE and the only thing they do is organize this event and it’s nine hours of working out. This year, at Millersville University there was a Zumba room, a Yoga room and a Spin room.
There was a moment today where I thought to myself, “I am so weak. I skipped four classes.”
Then I realized that it meant that I did five classes. According to iChange, the four 45 minute classes of Zumba and the 40 minute Spin class I did burned 1900+ calories. 1900 calories. NINETEEN HUNDRED CALORIES.
My body, on a typical day, only burns about 1400! At a really awesome derby practice I’ll burn 900 calories. I am just absolutely floored at this achievement! Those classes were hard. Even the one Zumba class that was a little less bouncy had a lot of super precise movements, so I was still working really small muscles. My team mates from Dutchland Rollers were there too, and that was pretty awesome. (Kudos to Acute Toxicity and White Wing Shove who did five hours of Zumba today. Lots of gyrating)
I also started with the Spin class. Which was probably not the best choice. Especially since I’ve never done one before. Our instructor was awesome (10 am class – Frankfurter? Hm. Can’t remember his name but he definitely called out the roller girls in the crowd). What was awesome about the class was that it wasn’t just: “Now pedal! Listen to the techno!”
We had techno, but it was Florence and the Machine. We pedaled, but there was ab work and other interesting workouts. Also, he was into the personal development side of things so he kept talking about the spiritual connection to working out. It helped me push through the burning of my quads (still not recovered from rock climbing – WHICH WAS AMAZING) and the general underdevelopment of my biking muscles.
PS I’m sorry if this blog hops around a little bit. I don’t know who I even am right now I’m so spent!! 1900 CALORIES. ON 5 HOURS OF SLEEP.
Ok, so thank goodness I also had an Herbalife table set up at the event, because wow did I need the supplements today. The ‘empty’ Prepare canister ended up having a scoop and a half of powder in it, so post-Spin, pre-Zumba THAT happened. It was a 2 Hydrate day (I probably should have taken a 3rd honestly). I had some beverage mix with H3O after lunch (which involved micro-greens from The Seed Café in Lancaster and a CARROT SLAW mmmm).I also had some Peach Tea Concentrate and my tabs. PLUS I’ve drank 150 ounces of water today. I had a Formula 1 to start my day, a Formula 1 to end my day, and then Rebuild Strength when I got home! (PS I’m still in negative calories here at 10pm. Intense. Dinner is being made though. I am excited.)
So … The point of this blog is that … you can push through it. I don’t know how I did. The mental part of working out can be so much harder than the physical. The physical was tough, don’t get me wrong! It burned. My knee kept buckling. My arms were tight from climbing. I found that my synapses weren’t firing and I’d have to refocus to get the most out of each class. Zumba was crazy fun! Very intimidating at first, but AMAZING when you shut off your inhibitions and just DO IT.
SPENT! But I have my tea.
So turn off your fear. Turn off the pain. Pain is something that you brain creates to fool you into stopping. Don’t be fooled. Prove your mind wrong. Show that you are stronger than your situation.
You can rest later. Later you can sit in your comfy chair with your chamomile tea with a happy tummy full of kale and broccoli and fish knowing that you left it all on the floor. You can rest later; happy that when the last beat dropped, you had nothing left to give – and if you had anything left to give, you went to another class.
I would not recommend doing three hours and forty-five minutes of working out all the time. Once a week? Sure! I think that would be a great thing for me to start doing. I imagine this is what people feel like post-marathon. And since I’m running a half in April – I may want to start training for it!
PS I didn’t get a chance to write about my climbing adventure, but know that it was amazing. I cannot wait to go back. And I will be. Often.
for your comfort at the game.)
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Khaos Theory Derby 