The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
I cannot even explain how excited I am about what is happening in my career as a Derbalife wellness & training coach.
All of us dream about making roller derby our full time job. Today I take one step closer to doing exactly that. It’s been my vision for my Derbalife business has always been to build an online community of athletes who lean on each other as they meet their goals and challenge each other to achieve amazing heights. That online community would then be supported by in-person support, guest coaching and roller derby training and skating centers.
So while I am a long way from opening my own training facility, I’m stoked to be working with The Pivot Center on nutrition. There is also another facility that could be an awesome member of our Derba-family (more info about that when I’m able to talk about it).
The Pivot Center in Virginia is one of the training centers I’m so excited to be working with!
Today, something big is starting. I’m stoked to say that I will be spending the next 18 days on the road coaching derby & nutrition, vending, bench coaching, scrimmaging and more. I am having trouble even wrapping my mind around all the awesome that is about to happen.
While I cannot announce ALL the leagues I’ll be working with [yet], I can say that I am definitely going to be visiting Worcester Roller Derby, the Bay State Brawlers, Red Bank Roller Vixens and tonight is Atlantic Coast. There are five other leagues I’m waiting to hear final confirmation from. I’m calling it the Atlantic Coast Derbalife Domination. It is coined for this tour, but it will be the theme of all the awesome things going on up and down the Atlantic Coast with the Derbalife team!
Also, if you’re league is somewhere in the general Lower New England/East NY, East PA, or upper NJ I still have Sunday the 21st and Monday the 30th open in my schedule for sure. Or, if you want me to put you on the will call list in case I get a cancellation, still message me. E-mail me at DerbyAmerica@yahoo.com or text me at 717-602-7880. Whether for guest coaching or just nutrition classes!
So … I will be out and about. I will be updating as I go on this blog and on my Facebook and Twitter as well. I’m excited to bench coach for Harm City Homicide this weekend and I may be attending other bouts while I’m out and about as well. Thank you in advance to all the leagues I’ll be working with.
Oh yea, did I tell you that I leave for Rollercon as soon as I’m back? Rock on. If you want to join the Atlantic Coast Derbalife Domination (even if you’re not on the Atlantic Coast) and become a Derbalife coach and take a step towards making derby YOUR full-time job? Contact me at DerbyAmerica@yahoo.com
Red Carpet v Black Listed Rollercon 2012 by Jason Sanetti
It’s amazing how the entire course of your life can change in a year.
Last summer, ECDX was a week earlier (ECDX, for those not in the know, is EAST COAST EXTRAVAGANZA – 3 days of roller derby hosted by the tenacious Philly Roller Girls). So let’s rewind one year and one week…
I knew I had one more year of school left. I was preparing for a Team USA boot camp and 2 WFTDA bouts with Harrisburg Area Roller Derby. I was writing for my Examiner semi-steadily and I had picked up a job at a local pizzeria for cash, and was still working for a fruit farm at a Thursday Farmer’s Market. Matt and I were doing well and we were looking forward to a Florida vacation later in the summer.
I earned MVP of Providence, but it was one of the toughest games I’ve ever played!
I was unhappy with my skating; I wasn’t completely unsatisfied, but I knew I could be better. I had done moderately well against Dominion and had earned MVP against Providence (which was huge for me*). However I was full of doubt. My quick endurance and strength wasn’t where I wanted it. My footwork was improving but clunky. I never had energy at the end of a jam and I was ALWAYS sore. I thought I was doing everything right, and I was just on the biggest plateau ever. When I looked at it – my body hadn’t changed in nearly TWO YEARS. Annoying.
Team USA boot camp Thursday. 3 Hour black and white scrimmage Friday. Sore. Spent. I met so many skaters that made me want to be better than I was (thank you, Gunder N Lightening, Fifi Nomenon and the ladies of the Columbia Quad Squad).
Then I meet Krissy Krash at her Derbalife booth. I’ve talked about this before so I’ll just fast forward.
One year and one week later, I am different.
Coming into a Cape Fear pack (photo by Juan Paden)
Not only is my body completely different, but my mind, attitude, outlook and future have shifted so drastically. I’ve been through a major injury. A break-up. A career change. A graduation. A sponsorship. I’ve played new rule sets, played a bank track tournament and am now pushing myself with the challenge of skate parks. I consider myself a runner now. And I’ve been back to rock climbing.
Using the rail and avoiding the hit.
Today, still write, but I do it for my blog as well as Examiner as well as for a book. Now I am in a house in Lititz, shared by myself and two friends. My diet is high performance to match the intensity of my roller derby and Crossfit schedule. I’m a successful Herbalife coach with a HUGE vision of creating online support communities, pockets of local derby support and a series of training centers up and down the east coast. I talk to people from all over the world on a daily basis, and I have skaters contacting me and telling me what an inspiration I am to them.
The Pivot Center in Virginia is one of the training centers I’m so excited to be working with!
I run boot camps and guest coach fairly regularly. I have people now seeking ME out. I am building my classes for Rollercon since this year I am teaching business classes, off skates workouts and on skates fundamentals.
I no longer have the limiting beliefs that I had at this time last year. I prepare for ECDX with my new team: the Dutchland All Stars. Instead of a Team USA Boot Camp, I will be going to a Team USA tryout. Last night at practice, I was able to not only keep up, but perform consistently throughout practice in a rink with no AC, no air flow and after having done a Crossfit open class an hour and a half before.
I no longer believe that I’m defective. That I’m unworthy of love and that I’ll never be ‘good enough’ for a man to want more than my body. Though, I’m pretty proud of that body, let’s be real. *winks*
I am strong. I am determined. I am a force. Despite the struggles. Despite the hardships of the moment, they will not define me. They do not define me. Not anymore. I am stronger than my struggles. I am the one who will be victorious in the end.
I don’t need a diamond – I am one.
If this is where I’m at this year – almost one year into being an Herbalife Health Coach, almost one year into being a Dutchland Roller … who knows where I will be at this time in 2014. I’m excited to find out.
If you have a big vision for your life, and think this whole Health Coach deal sounds as awesome as I thought .. drop me a line at KGreyActiveNutrition@gmail.com
A lot of people say that the hardest part of a body transformation is getting started. I say the hardest part is continuing the path once you’ve been doing it for a while.
In the past 11 months (wow – it’s been almost a year already??), I have worked with a lot of friends and colleagues who are very strong at the start of their journey. They’re dedicated, diligent and feeling amazing. Then … they start to peter off. I wanted to take some time to talk about why the decline happens, and what you can do to keep yourself on track.
Your Words DO Mean Much
As a communications grad, I am all about the verbage. Words can make a huge difference when you’re making changes in your life. While “actions speak louder” is true, if you do not work on resetting your own vocabulary, you are going to constantly trigger negative emotions as you move through a new challenge. Some examples:
Reset your thinking of the word “Diet”. Diet, by definition, is the list of the foods we eat. It has become synonymous with being “on a diet” ie “starving yourself”. Erase the old definition from your mind and understand that your diet is simply the list of the foods you eat every day.
Add the word ‘yet’ onto sentences that involve struggle. For example, instead of saying, “I can’t do a pull up”, phrase it “I can’t do a pull up YET”. It’s amazing how three letters can add power and confidence to your sentence. Another great word is “will”. Instead of saying “I’d like to be able to do 10 pushups in a row” say, “I will do 10 push-ups in a row.”
Removing negativity and negative self-talk is also CRITICAL to your success. And I don’t just me in regards to your workouts and eating. I mean overall in your life. Think about how often you complain, gossip, criticize or blame others for the negative things in your life. These are toxic habits keep your mind in the mode of failure. Training yourself to not complain or criticize is a mighty prospect, but if you can master your negative emotions, than success in all endeavors is sure to follow. Can you challenge yourself to not complain for an entire week? Not one. If you find yourself about to complain about something, stop. Breathe. Let the complaint go and think about how you can turn the situation to a positive note.
Start with personal development. Books like The Big Leap (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED), The Slight Edge, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, or any recordings by Les Brown, Jim Rohn or Zig Ziegler are great places to start to get your mind set for success.
It’s a Lifestyle, not a Quick Fix
So we’re back to that “crash diet” thing.
No one is ever looking to “drop 10 pounds and then gain it back a few months later”. Having goals that stretch past a month or two away is crucial for long-term changes in health and wellness. It’s not about doing something that works for a few weeks and then saying “Hey I feel great!” and then quitting what you were doing.
There’s a reason you feel great. There’s a reason your knee doesn’t hurt anymore or why your stomach doesn’t hate you in the morning. There is a reason you suddenly dropped five pounds or have the energy to get through your day. If you think to yourself, “I’m cured!” and then go back to old routines … well … everything you worked for will deteriorate.
When you’re looking to change your life, think about if you really want to CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Do you really want to heal quicker? To run longer? To lose that 40 pounds? To sleep better? Do you want to do it for a couple months, or for always? That is the important piece of the puzzle to come to terms with here.
Understand that You Are Human
Even the best of us slip. The difference between those who are successful and those who quit are how we deal with our imperfections.
Ok, so you had a chocolate bar at work because the chocolate craving was too much and you forgot to pack your usual chocolatey protein bar (which keeps the cravings at bay). So now you have a choice. Some people will say: “Screw it. Today is blown. I’m going to the Chinese buffet to sulk. I’ll try again tomorrow.”
The successful people will say: “Oops. Where’s my water?” and we won’t let it affect the rest of our plan. Also, most of us will, a half hour later say “Ugh, my tummy hurts” because we’re not used to putting bad stuff in our bodies anymore. After going low-to-no simple carbs for two weeks, I find that, now, when I eat bread I get extremely tired and feel kind of ucky. The morning after drinking a couple beers? Awful. I don’t have time for that anymore. I like being sharp and energized!
The point is – understand that mistakes happen. Don’t use them as an excuse to blow the rest of your day and don’t scapegoat the continuation of bad habits as mistakes. If you make the ‘mistake’ of picking up fast food every other day after you’ve decided to change your ways – guess what? That’s not a mistake. That is a conscious decision that you need to come to terms with.
Even those of us who are very specific about recovery and nutrition have a break now and again.
Reconstruct Comfort
Part of long term success with a body transformation is the ability to reconstruct our internalized sense memories. Many of us get good feelings when we eat a cheesesteak or we curl up on the couch. These feelings are not wrong or bad, but they do set us up to sabotage our healthy habits.
It takes a long time, but committing yourself to changing your concept of comfort foods and stress relief will help your long term body transformation efforts. When you’re sad or feeling low energy, instead of turning to usual ‘comfort’ foods (which are high fat, high simple carbs) make the effort to do something a little bit better for yourself. My new comfort food is thai and Japanese food (as little rice or noodles as possible). When I’m at home, sautéed broccoli or a salad with shrimp and avocado do the trick.
It is not easy to re-train your brain. By repeating the habits again and again, eventually your body will stop craving McDonald’s at the first sign of grey skies, and crave your healthy alternatives instead.
As far as stress relief is concerned, often we crumble under the pressure of it. Even those of us who play a sport like roller derby, football or hockey, will find that we have bad days. Days where we just want to stay under the pillows, and our sports activities cannot relieve the pressure.
This is the time that you get up and move. Do something different. Walk. Run. Climb. Conquer something new. I became a runner because I needed to conquer my mind. I needed to stop being afraid, I needed to stop quitting when life got hard and I needed to prove that I could overcome depression.
So I did something I had told myself for years that I wouldn’t do: I ran. I swallowed my pride and I did something I didn’t want to do. I mastered my mind and I learned more about myself in the process than I ever would have from sitting in my chair watching re-runs of Project Runway.
One of my new favorite comfort foods: lemongrass soup with shrimp nomnom
Find a Buddy Who is Also Making Changes
Accountability partners are awesome. Whether it is for a business, exercising or talking about the things that went good or bad in your day, a good buddy is a great weapon for success. You can keep journals and food logs and keep up with one another. If they haven’t written in 2 weeks – get them rolling again! By keeping them accountable, you’re also reminding yourself that YOU should be doing the same things.
This being said, sometimes your partner will fall off. They will not make the mental commitment that you will. It’s ok to find a new partner and let them know that you’re there to support them when they’re ready. You can also find online communities of people working to change and support each other.
My own community is at Team HarderBetterFasterStronger on Facebook. We’re all remote, so we can’t meet up at the gym, but we post what our struggles are, what we’re eating and how we’re doing. We cheer for accomplishments and support each other in our hardships.
Maybe This is About More than Just Body Transformation
I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist. That being said, I have noticed something with humans. I’m not concerned that you DID eat the whole pizza, I’m concerned as to WHY you decided to eat the whole pizza, despite goals and commitments and health and all the things we’ve talked about.
Sometimes, the deep-seeded issues need to be addressed and you are not able to handle it on your own. That is ok. Do not be afraid to look inside yourself at the darkness to understand why you are self-sabotaging. Fear will do terrible things to us: it will make us doubt our capacity for change, it will cause us to crave foods we don’t want to eat, it will keep us on the couch when we should be out in the world working.
If you need to seek professional assistance to work through self-doubt, depression, addiction or anything else – it is alright. Do it. You will be able to accomplish anything if you can conquer your mind and your past.
In Conclusion….
All of these suggestions are long-term commitments to changing your mindset and approach to body transformation. Notice how there is not a single nutrition or workout based tip? This is a mental game; a commitment and recommitment game. Healing and shifting internalized thoughts will create a new radiance on the outside.
Think of a tree and the fruit it bears. If the roots are not solid, if the tree cannot get the food and water it needs – the fruit it bears will not be full and abundant. You cannot give the tree food and water for one day and expect the tree to bloom well. It is a constant process, and never ending. Feed your roots now and always, so that everything else may blossom beautifully and deliciously.
And trust me, there is no better feeling than looking in the mirror and seeing the results of consistency and commitment.
Need some nutrition help or want to start your own journey? Drop me a message at KGreyActiveNutrition@gmail.com
No matter how confident a skater may sound, she is lying when she says, “Oh no. It doesn’t hurt that badly. I’ll be fine!”
In her head and heart she is seriously wondering what is going to happen when she puts her skates on. She is honestly worried that she will not be able to push, turn or stop. Even if she can, can she cut? Juke? Thrust? Can she be an effective derby player, not just an effective roller skater?
I hobbled from my car to the rink. I hobbled through the rink to the locker room area. I did my best to tell everyone I was ok, just a little slip at graduation – nothing to fear! Inside though, I was absolutely trembling of what was to come.
I already have deep-seated fear issues from my injury last October that I have been diligently working on uprooting. Now I have a new injury? On the other side of my leg? That can be agitated from slipping in dress shoes? Well damn.
My team mates are awesome.
The Dutchland All Stars – photo by Scott Johnson
My coach, Jocelyn Bassler, told me to just be honest if it hurt too much. Captain Laverne N Surly told me to let Shots know if I needed a break during the game and not to feel ashamed about it.
Treasure Chest told me to ‘fuck it, man. Just go for it’.
She shrugged at me, as she does, and continued to gear up. I made the decision right then to do as she said.
I wrapped up the knee (Using some of the capsaicin in the mix which ended up being more burny than I EVER expected) and I gave it a shot. I drank my 24 Prepare/Hydrate mix to give me that spark of “Whatever! I have so much energy that I can do anything!” and I found out quickly that if I stayed low in PROPER derby position .. It really didn’t hurt. So much that even if I popped up for a quick move, it still didn’t hurt! Ok. Ok. I can do this. No fear. Aggression.
And then something even more amazing happened. The Dutchland All Stars clicked. We played like the team we can be. The defensive blocking was absolutely spot on. The offensive blocking was appropriate and controlled. The Cape Fear Roller Girls were awesome to play. Everyone had fun. Everyone played solid, hard-hitting derby.
Did shit happen during the game? Yes. It’s a high impact sport on roller skates. People get knocked around a bit. But there were not tempers flaring, which is the way I prefer my roller derby. I prefer it hard, fast and FUN.
Khaos attack! by Jim Rhoades
I had my best bout in months. I had maybe my best bout EVER. I only got to jam seven times during the bout, but (with my family looking on) I was able to focus in to the strength and power that I know I have. I was able to score 70 points. I was able to get lead jammer 86% of my jams. I was able to juke and accelerate past opposing blockers. I was able to power through on starts, and take advantage of holes on my way through the pack.
Cape Fear had some awesome positional blocking and definitely played with my head on a few jams. They had some great heavy-hitters and some awesome recycling. They definitely kept me on my toes (and many times, on my behind). I felt like, for the first time in a long time, I was just really good at avoiding the hits coming at me, or rolling off the ones that hit, or absorbing hits as I worked towards the middle of the track.
Ducking past – by Scott Johnson
It’s been a while since I felt very confident in my ability to misdirect my motion, or roll off of a hit to SUCCESSFULLY take advantage of a hole, but on Saturday I did it. It was also fantastic to hear (every time I passed the bench when she wasn’t on the floor) Treasure Chest yelling: “You got this!” “One more lap!” “You’re faster than her!” “Push!” “Don’t you call it!”
Treasure Chest. Photo by Jim Rhoades
My team mates did a lot of amazing stuff too – I have to throw a shout out to Marie Antiothreat who, in a moment of amazing awareness (with just herself an Bayou on the track in a power jam situation) – was able to knock the jammer out of bounds at the edge of the engagement zone so hard that the jammer fell. This gave Marie the opportunity to not just run back TO the pack, but she was able to Mohawk along the inside line PAST the entire Cape Fear team to force the jammer almost 20 feet BEHIND the pack. It was pretty glorious, I have to say.
So this was Saturday against Cape Fear. It was a great confidence boost for going into Spring Roll (which the goal there is – HAVE FUN). I know that my quick twitch endurance is not what it should be (these injuries have really halted my plyometric routine) but I am focusing on getting that stronger currently.
I also have to say that this time around I was on my usual routine of tabs (Multivitamin, Cell Activator, Herbalifeline, Total Control and 2x a day dose of Niteworks) and I felt a definite alertness difference. I didn’t even need the LiftOff that I had made for the second half. My long endurance was fantastic. My short burst was still very good – I just forget that when my short burst is good it means I push harder.
So sites are set on Spring Roll. Nutrition is getting a bump this week (less carbs, more protein, more veggies) and I guess we’ll see what happens next!
If you’re interested in getting a bump in your nutrition or athletic performance, drop me a message at KGreyActiveNutrition@gmail.com
2013 is going to be even better for this blog! I’m going to continue to track my progress, talk health, post about interesting PR and marketing things in the world of Khaos and anything else I observe. I’m so excited to continue writing and interacting in 2013.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
Regional action in roller derby is one of the most exciting times of the year. Four tournaments of the best skaters in the United States all crammed into a month. Watching Angel City, Wasatch, Rose City and Rocky Mountain (among others) this weekend is extremely inspirational. It makes me want to move and work out, but I don’t want to leave the laptop on which I am watching the tournament. So I created a workout to go along with it:
Along with the motivation I have found physically today, it makes me excited to Health Coach more individuals. The Big 5 Derbalife Challenge just started and I am still signing up individuals to partake in the contest. Top Derbalife coaches will be providing nutrition and workout help, while I will be providing weekly motivation and nutrition support. There’s a chance to win prizes for bettering your 25 lap time, as well as for the “Look Hotter in Your Hot Pants” contest.
For anyone looking for more information on the contest, or if you are interested in a Health Profile, do not be afraid to contact me at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com.
Always I hear that eating healthy isn’t easy. It isn’t fun, and it isn’t delicious. However, there are plenty of great recipes out there that are just as wonderful as your favorite 1000 calorie meal. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of opening your perspective up and sometimes you have to … *GASP* try something new. Here are some of my favorite foods that have gotten a bad rep in the past. All the ways of preparing I’ve included here are easy enough for even me to complete them!
Asparagus
For too long, asparagus was presented to the public as sad, limpy masses of grey-green mush that we get from a can. With an overbearing level of salt and acrid flavor, it is no wonder that children grew up ‘knowing they hate asparagus’. Recentely, this wonderful vegetable is growing in popularity because of how beautifully packed with vitamin C, vitamin K and anti-oxidents they are. On top of that, fresh asparagus is downright tasty.
Instead of popping open a can of asparagus, buy it fresh! (If you can get it from a local market, that’s even better) My favorite way to cook asparagus takes three simple steps: Put on foil. Add a dash of sea salt & extra virgin olive oil. Put on grill. The result is a bright green, crunchy, sexy side dish.
Yams
Also known as ‘sweet potatoes’ (though the two are different… want to know how and why? Visit The Library of Congress for the answer), this is a seriously misunderstood tuber. Most people think of this food stuff as covered in sugar, syrup and marshmallow. However, I come to you with a different option.
Thanks to the health revolution, there have been more sweet potato fries and mash popping up in main stream food. Take your yams and slice them up (make sure you have a good, strong knife) and bake them. Put them in a glass pan with some olive oil, a pinch of sea salt and a splash of apple cider vinegar. Cover with foil. Bake for about 45 minutes, or until crispy. Everyone likes their fries to different levels of done-ness, so this ones on you.
Or, sautee them: use some olive oil, some sea salt. If you like the sweetness of your holiday yams, do discs of sweet potatoes. Begin by cooking them in olive oil. After they are not quite brown, flip them. Sprinkle some sea salt or herbs on this side. When the other side of the discs are browned properly, flip them again. On this side, sprinkle a little bit of brown sugar! Flip them again, just long enough to get that brown sugar to melt in. You have salty and sweet and healthy!
(Look at all that Vitamin K!)
Ground Turkey/Chicken
NOOO!!! NOT MY HAMBURGER!
Let’s face it, for as much as good ground beef burger really hits the spot now and again, they are simply bad for us. No matter how hard we try to justify it, the calorie, fat and bad cholesterol count is just too much for a healthy body. However, subbing in ground turkey or chicken is a great way to get the textural quality of ground beef without the all bad stuff.
The hardest part about working with these products is that they do dry out quickly, because they are low in fat. When you cook it, make sure you cover your pans so that the moisture stays trapped. When making meatballs or burgers, use egg whites to help bind the meat together (yes, I know, the yolk… the fat.. is the binder. Trust me, the whites work pretty well too).
Use the ground beef in tacos, on salads or mixed into sauces. You’ll boost your protein without denting your saturated fat.