The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
And you know what? There is nothing wrong with feeling fantastically strong and confident. There is nothing wrong with believing that you can accomplish the greatest feats. That you DESERVE happiness, health and wealth. There is nothing wrong with promoting yourself. There is nothing wrong with believing you are beautiful and a contribution to the world.
We don’t want people to think we’re arrogant. We don’t want other people to believe we’re full of ourselves. Aside from all that, we are so busy telling ourselves that we can’t. Or it wouldn’t work. Or it would be uncomfortable. You know what’s really uncomfortable? Holding back. Bottling up. Keeping your joy to yourself.
In high school, a teacher of mine, Bill Johnson, was known for being loud, honest and hurting feelings. Students who didn’t care enough to talk to him assumed he was egotistical and just slapped a label on him. One day, while prepping for “The Wizard of Oz” (he had noticed my potential for work when I produced the fall play at Mechanicsburg my junior year), someone told him that he was arrogant.
He shook his head and said, “I’m not cocky. I’m convinced.” Later, while going to retrieve lunch for the crew, we talked about it. “You have to believe you can do anything. You have to know that you are the best. There isn’t anything wrong with believing in your abilities. You can’t rely on other people to believe for you. If you believe in yourself, other people will automatically believe in you.”
Every now and again, I have to say to myself: “I am not cocky – I AM CONVINCED.”
And I challenge you to be convinced as well. Especially when it comes to your talents, your skills and your passion.
Knowing how your body feels before you go into activities, and then through the activity and then afterwards .. It is something that people do not actually think about taking note of. Anyone who is working out or considers themselves an athlete needs to understand their body to a more heightened level.
What I am finding through this recovery process, is that I am so scared of the new pains and sensations that I feel in my leg and knee. I am so in-tuned to my joints that whenever I feel something different, I recoil. I become tentative. I do not have a physical therapist to walk me through the process of recovery, so I am in a trial and error phase. I must make notes of what happens when, and hope that I can find resources online that tell me that those pains are normal.
Physical therapy is supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to hurt and from everyone I’ve ever talked to, it is just not comfortable. However, what is TOO much pain? What is the wrong pain and what is the right or wrong amount of rest time in-between strength training or cardio training?
This is what I’m trying to get back to. Photo by JPaden Photography
While at the gym three days ago, I was finished with my leg day (leg press, leg extension, leg curls, abduction, adduction & straight leg ‘squat’) .. I was stretching my hamstrings and using the ballet bar. When I proceed from stretching my right leg (the bad one) to the left, I had a bad moment.
My right foot planted, parallel to the ballet bar, I lifted my left leg to place on the bar. When my right knee twisted it felt like .. well .. kind of like a white hot poker was shoved into my knee from the outside, in. I have to mention that it was probably a bad idea to have worn heels to a derby banquet the night before, so it was already sore.
Did I just overdo it? How do I know? I rested for the next two days except for some calisthenics. I feel a constant pressure on the outside of my leg. I am still icing. I am eating lots of protein, keeping up with vitamins, eating low sodium and drinking lots of water.
Today, I hop on the elliptical. The INSIDE of my leg was hurting, and a tingling feeling extended up my femur for about 10 minutes. I did 25 minutes and then moved to the bike for 35 minutes. I’ve iced. I take pain killers. I’ve taken anti-inflammatories. But the outside of my leg is still very tender.
Can you tel which is the bad one?
So the moral of the story? If I weren’t self aware, I wouldn’t know when things do not feel right. If I weren’t self aware maybe I would have plunged through the workouts and not noticed the leg tingling on the elliptical and I would have done a higher resistance for a longer amount of time than I did.
Know your body. Love your body. Trust your body. But… asking for outside help is necessary sometimes too.
(Anyone know a good physical therapist?)
As a final thought … Despite feel squishy the last couple days, and having those two rest days… My legs and arms are getting RIPPED.
Khaos Theory Derby 