The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
Hollywood Chuck Hendrick #247; Puget Sound Outcast Derby (5)
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? The song that makes pumps me up is Empire State of mind by jay-z
2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? My favorite city to play derby in besides Seattle of course is anywhere that has a crowd watching. I love playing in front of lots of people.
3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? My favorite WFTDA skater is snot rocket science, she is so amazing on and off the floor and such a student of the game. Mostly it’s because she enjoys playing derby and you can see that when she skates. Lol
4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I usually always am with Cory pain, ryrod never a dull moment there.
5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Cory Pain pushes me the most out of any skater mostly cause he knows what I can do on the track and he won’t take anything less than the best from me. We have skated together for over 20 years, he is only player in derby I’m afraid of.
6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Post bout food is easy for me MEAT!! Love me a steak and some shrimp after bouts. My team has come so far this year and I’m really excited to see what we have at champs!! Thanks for all you do;)
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? Eminem “till I collapse”
2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Milwaukee “brewhaha”
3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? It would Lauren Mutch. Her skating ability and style is what is what I admire and I try copy it.
4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I always room with Uncle Jesse Mcnasty, Rhino and Big O. It’s never a dual moment in that room.
5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? It would definitely be Shango Fett from gatekeepers. I’ve played against him for so many years. I’ve made a little rivalry and of it but he might not know it lol
6) What is your favorite post-bout food? It would have to be gummy snacks. I love raiding the snack table at tournaments
These two met each other at Midwest BrewHaha, and Puget has to be itching to correct the mistakes of the last game. Texas has been destroying the competition this year, which most of us expected when the merger of Denton County and Dallas Deception was announced. Puget is as dominant as ever, and though they lost to the Outlaws before, they have all the tools to win in this very close match-up.
Dylan Botts & Thunderstruck deny the Gatekeepers their points. Photo by Mr. McWheely
Texas and Puget have very similar styles of play: they utilize a looser pack positioning when in motion, and ‘fish’ for jammers ng capability of individual blockers to give the pack a moment to congeal around jammers. Meanwhile, both teams have jammer pools mixed with agility, airtime, and the strength that have had a lot of practice pushing a grinding hypercube this season. Both teams play fast, both teams are hoppy. Both teams are also chasing the dream of ending up on the dais with hardware around their neck.
This is the last first round match-up of River City Rumble. It will happen at 3pm CST, and you can stream it live on WFTDA.tv on Saturday, October 17, 2015.
The Enable isn’t a fan of apexes. So he just skips them. Picture by Mr. McWheely
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? It’s different every year. NYSE has a song we warm up to every practice. It’s a great mental exercise to get the team in a mind frame. This year we’ve been playing Panama by Van Halen. 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? I’ve liked a lot of cities we’ve traveled to. I think the nicest was Tacoma, WA for Champs last season. The Pacific Northwest is beautiful. I’ve always wanted to live there, but never ended up living there, for no particular reason. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? I’m a big fan of all of the NYSE managers: Swede Hurt, Vicious Van Go Go, Miss Tea Maven and Sexy Slaydie. I think I like the way Slaydie plays most. She’s helped me get a lot quicker and I just like the style she uses. If I had to describe it, it’s a style in which you use all of your physical strengths to as much of an advantage as possible. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? It depends who needs a room. I’ve roomed a lot with Abe Drinkin over the past 2 years. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? I think it’s probably Tony Muse. Your Mom is at the top of the sport, and everyone wants that for themselves. I think his leadership of that team has pushed me to work harder. I want for NYSE what he has achieved with Your Mom. That makes me work harder, always. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Anything, really. I don’t have a post-bout ritual other than stretching, and drinking a bunch of water. If it’s a food I like, I’ll eat it post-bout.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? Song wise it’s either Adagio in D Minor or Heroes (Branchez remix) by Alesso 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? I really loved playing in Des Moines, it was so peaceful and calm and the surrounding area was picturesque, even though it was very flat I really enjoyed the peace and open space. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? My favourite WFTDA skater is Lexi Lightspeed, her footwork and track awareness is absolutely incredible! 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? When the team travels I spend a lot of time with Reaper, we shoot videos on long drives of us singing and we call it Shreaper FM. When it comes to rooming with teammates it all depends on who’s willing to share with me! 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Sully from Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder springs to mind, he’s just a super talented skater who popped up on the UK scene as another young talent. We get on pretty well so it’s always good to play against him.
Apart from that I’ve gotta say my teammates, we always push each other to be better and our team mentality has been on point. And then finally, although they’re not skaters, I have to mention our bench staff in Rob BG and Betty Swollox, the focus and commitment they have to the team is second to none and they’re constantly giving us the advice and guidance we need to strive and push to get better. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Post bout food is probably a really crispy apple, at least that tides me over until I can find as much cooked meat and pasta as I can possibly find.
NYSE is a continual powerhouse, and SoDisco are a dominant force in the UK. Shock has added some talented skaters since Mohawk Valley Cup, including Stankus (Quadfathers) and I Don’t Care Bear (Jersey Boys). SoDisco got some heavy hitters back, including Mr. Furieux and Ballistic Whistle. Both teams have a jammer rotation far deeper than its typical 3-man line-up would indicate.
NYSE v Tyne n Fear at Mohawk Valley Cup 2015. Photo by Hispanic Attack.
NYSE has, in the past, had better grinding wall work then SDRD, but the UK boys have been closing the gap of experience the past few years. Both teams have big hitters (Geoffrey vs Sutton, and Abe vs Spectral should keep us all entertained). This is sure to be a highly physical bout, NYSE doesn’t want to lose their place on the podium, and So Disco is hungry to be the first international team to medal.
Stream the 3/6 bout live on WFTDA.tv at 1pm CST on Saturday, October 17, 2015.
With an injury occurring the week before Champs, Southern Discomfort has changed their motto from #WakeUpLikeNanaki to #DoItForNanaki
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? I always listen to 96 Quite Bitter Beings by CKY. I used to listen to it before football games in high school and so it still do it to pump me up.
2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? My favorite city to travel to for derby is Vegas. That means I’m at Rollercon!
3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? All of my fav skaters are on the Wheels of Justice. But if I had to choose another one S.H Long from Denver. She runs nasty defense, and throws a damn good party too.
4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I usually room with Shreddy and Demolition Man. They don’t mind seeing me naked.
5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? Magnum PIMP [of St Louis]. He’s the smartest jammer in the MRDA. It’s a chess game with him. So if you outsmart him, you still have to try and block him.
6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Poutine and coconut water.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? I’m always rocking out to Anamanaguchi. It’s a couple guitars, drums, and a pair of Nintendo’s. Get’s me in the right mindset and gives me bonus XP after the game. 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? I love Saint Louis and Saint Louis as far as I can tell loves me too. It’s derby scene is right up my ally, I’ve got a ton of close derby friends there, and they always treat me right. I’m pretty hyped that champs is there this year. I feel at home and know I’m going to have a blast. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Awwwww man. That’s so tough! I gotta rep my MNRG girls though. Hurtrude Stein from MNRG has had an incredible season. She’s always been a good player but this year she’s really stood out as someone to watch on that team. Every time I see her out there she’s doing exactly what she should be and executing the fuck out of it. She’s one of those skaters I’m hyped to skate against when we scrimmage MNRG. It seems like no matter what the situation she offers me a new challenge. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I think the appropriate question would be which team do I room with 😉 I’m kind of a derby gypsy by nature. That approach has had me on couches and floors of more teams than I can remember. Although the number of beers had prior to aforementioned unconsciousness might have something to do with the fuzzy nature of those memories. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? There are a lot of names on that list. At home Freight Trainand Derbie Monster always play their size against me which is crucial for my progress as a small fry in my sport. Skaters like Magnum and Gnat always seem to be one mental step ahead which I need exposure to keep moving forward.
Of course you’re got your untamed beasts like Feelgood, Steve Sweat, or Shane Bower too. It’s always good to have someone on the other team who just might do something really nuts. It makes me have to throw caution to the wind as you don’t stand a chance if you can’t meet them at their level. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? Beer. I know it’s not technically food and I’m probably supposed to say candy but after an hour of giving my all I just want a drink. Perhaps a few too many if I can help it.
The Match-Up
Twin City is coming into champs the #14 ranked team, in the slot of the 10 seed; they are excited to learn, grow as a team, and make a case for them to be ranked #10 next time around. Last year at Champs, Bridgetown narrowly lost to SoDisco in the Saturday evening game, thus a chance to play for 5th place. This year, with extra teams shaping the brackets differently, the winner of this first match up will have to beat the St. Louis Gatekeepers, or have Sunday off. Bridgetown does not want to have Sunday off again.
Photo by Ryan Siverson.
Both TC and the Menace have a solid core jammer rotation, with subs they can throw in based on performance. Both teams play with positional walls, and tornado-type recycling. Bridgetown has the upper hand in the area of experience, but this should be a fun first match up of the weekend.
Tune in on WFTDA.tv at 9a CST, Saturday October 17, 2015.
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? I like to listen to #1 by nelly hahahaha 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Seattle, the city is awesome and the puget sound guys are a fun team to play against 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Crowe, she skates for the San Diego roller derby starlettes. One has tag says it all #croweknows hahaha the world will know about her soon enough. 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I room with a couple of my favorites waterboy, boo, Bobby light and my bestie MO oweuone 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? B Stang for sure, I have skated with him and around him since we were young. He’s always been a step ahead of the rest. I work for him now and I use all that time with him to gain knowledge. In my opinion he’s the best skater in the world. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? I always order a pitcher of shirley temple hahaha
1) What pump up song plays in your head when you take the track? How we roll (fast five soundtrack) 2) What is your favorite city to travel to play derby in? Ft Wayne. Just because we have been there so many times for spring roll I can drive around without gps. 3) Who is your favorite WFTDA skater and why? Ms. Jaxem [Erin Jackson of Jacksonville Rollergirls]. She grew up in my home rink and seeing her go from rink rat to world champion speed skater and arguably the best jammer in wftda is awesome! 4) When the team travels, which team mate(s) do you room with? I normally room with Chef, Bratz, or Moseley. 5) Which MRDA skater pushes you to be better [because they’ve beaten you in the past]? I wouldnt say a particular skater, but Texas men’s has really impressed me this season and shown what hard work and practice can do. 6) What is your favorite post-bout food? If it’s a tournament weekend, the Tour of Italy. It’s a team thing! Carb load!! 😀
The Aftershocks are generally an unknown in the MRDA.They played (and lost) to Puget earlier this season, but their roster has gradually increased with talent over the year. Magic City returns to Champs this year, and they are hungry to prove that they belong in the Top 5.
Taking on Denver. Photo by Joel Giltner
Both teams play with speed, and both teams prefer a face-to-face blocking game to rotating walls. The Aftershocks have world champions B Stang and Just Mike from Your Mom on their squad, and they bring high level experience to the squad.However, Streak has been ‘getting the band back together’ all year in Jacksonville, you can expect to see the unnecessary spins and extreme lateral coverage that has made MCM a fun team to watch.
East Coast versus West Coast happens on WFTDA.tv at 11am CST on October 17, 2015.
Bratz escapes a Gatekeeper pack. Photo by James Brady 2015
There’s been a “12 Reasons you should watch roller derby” buzzfeed article floating around. Guess what, folks? Some of it they got right! Some of it they got eeeehhhhh…..
So I’m rebooting this blog! It was one my first popular article on Examiner.I’ve re-written some of the explanations, but I’ve kept the headlines the same. 2010 derby or 2015 derby, these are still the 10 reasons you should watch roller derby. (PS Most derby leagues still don’t have seating, so you may want to pick up a Coleman Stadium Seat for your comfort at the game.)
The WOW factor How many of your friends watch roller derby? If the answer is “many”, then maybe there is something to this. Maybe they have an in on something. If your answer is “none”, you can introduce your circle to the fast-growing sport on the planet. How cool does that make you look? Roller derby is a completely unique, high-impact sport that is totally inclusive of age, gender, nationality, etc. It is an international phenomenon that grows every year. In 2018, the third Roller Derby World Cup took place in Manchester, England, hosting 38 countries, including the Czech Republic, Korea, and West Indies. Barcelona is the stage for the third Men’s Roller Derby World Cup in April 2018, where 24 teams, including Japan, Chile, and Denmark will compete. The speed, power, and finesse on 8 wheels is enough to keep you entertained, even if your local team isn’t allowed to sell beer!
Texas took on Missouri in the men’s championship of State Wars in December 2014, with hard hits and fast feet. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
The social works of derby teams Roller derby teams are often non-profit organizations themselves; regardless you will find your local teams out at charity events and raising money for good causes at their home bouts. Tens of thousands of dollars have been raised worldwide for charities. Whether promoting suicide prevention, helping wounded animals, collecting for homeless shelters, promoting love as love, or helping a city rebuild after tragedy, derby has covered the spectrum of charitable causes. The Girls on Track Foundation was founded to keep young girls involved in the sport of roller derby, thus building their confidence, courage, and leadership skills. Locally, our own Tampa Roller Derby is involved with Big Cat Rescue and Girls on the Run,
Athletic prowess These are athletes. Teams practice between two and six times a week, and the participants work out beyond their practice limits. Yoga, crossfit, powerlifting, Spartan Races, aerial silks… the cross-training of roller derby knows no limits.
Impressed by your favorite hockey player doing fancy footwork and scoring points? Wait until you see Lil Slinky of Stockholm duck and dance through the pack effortlessly. Get hyped up by your favorite safety playing all over the field defense? You will love seeing Alli Kat Scratch of the Tampa Tantrums crush the hopes and dreams of her opponents. The feats of agility and pure strength are display at any game (whether it’s the 500-person strong Rose City Rollers or 20 strong Twin City Terrors).
PHDiesel makes a lap for Team Florida at State Wars. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
“Any Given Sunday” Just like in any other mainstream sport, roller derby has the “any given Sunday” mantra. The Oly Rollers came out of nowhere in their first season as a WFTDA* team, and took the Hydra as the underdog. It is possible for any team to sweat and bleed their way to beating a giant of roller derby. Tournament play has seen a lot of international teams come in and shock the world with their undeniable strength. Teams from the United Kingdom, Germany, and Australia have been doing damage in WFTDA and MRDA** rankings the past few years.
Less expensive than a movie date
An American movie date can easily breach $75 (IMAX anyone?), and if you’re counting dinner, you can bet on a night breaking $100. Yes, there are some games that offer beer or full entrees (thank you Charm City). Yes, buying merch from Tampa’s Wrecking Mall might up your final cost for the night. However, most teams still play in roller rinks with small concessions and bake sales. A derby date can easily stay under $30! Derby encourages interaction and conversation, whether you are with one person or a group, and it’s way better than sitting awkwardly in a dark theatre with your Tinder date. Bring them to derby!
Who needs a movie when you can be next to the action? Photo by Phantom Photographics
Community! The roller derby community is a very inclusive place; if it’s a tailgate kind of game (you can check with the league on their event page ahead of time), get a group together and hang out in the parking lot. My first team was notorious for cookouts and beer trading in the parking lot of the Olympic Skating Center before games. Groups often mix and mingle. Don’t know what’s going on during the game? Ask the people beside you (or look for someone with a “Ask me about derby” sign). Regardless of the side you are rooting for, everyone is super friendly and inclusive. You will make friends in the fans, the refs, and the league members themselves. Labels and judgement have no place in our house, so come one, come all!
Direct interaction with athletes
How many sports teams offer one-on-one time with their athletes? Every game and after party is a meet and greet, and leagues host events throughout the year where you can meet your favorite skaters. You can catch up with league scores from those directly involved, and can really feel like a part of the organization even as a fan. Websites like Flat Track Stats even gives you chance to follow how your favorite travel teams are doing, even if the team hasn’t received official sanctioning ranking. With the popularity of tournaments growing in roller derby, keep your eyes peeled to your team’s social media, it’s likely their travel games will be live streamed at some point. Then you can even watch them from home.
Junior derby is gaining momentum! Your son or daughter can play, or you can watch the future of derby at local events. Photo by Phantom Photographics.
Unique characters Mainstream sports are chuck full of big characters, and roller derby does not disappoint. Be warned: It is not make-up and fishnets. It is the heart, soul, blood and tears that they pour into their work that make these athletes into giants and idols. Big characters in derby are the big hits, the big jams, and acrobats on skates. Whether your team matches in black compression pants, or dons old school mis-matched DerbySkinz and stickers on helmets, you will see the personalities on and off skates. It’s not just the skaters that make the game exciting: The announcers of roller derby are some of the most colorful characters you can imagine. Plus they are super knowledgeable about the game, so make friends with them.
You might find a new love Skaters, refs, NSOs***, announcers, medics, and coaches have to come from somewhere. Often, they come from the audience. Fans, friends of the fans, and the munchkins of fans are the future of roller derby. Even if you never end up skating, your support is vital to your league. Being a fan and posting about the games, inviting your friends to the events, watching WFTDA.tv, watching the YouTube archives of bouts… it spreads the goodwill of derby to people outside of the community who may never have heard of derby before. Or, maybe they went to a game three years ago and “have been meaning to return”. Maybe you can be the one to remind them to spend a Saturday night at the rink.
Derby is always looking for more officials to help at games. Skates not required! Photo by Phantom Photographics.
It’s just plain FUN The excitement is infectious. Regardless of your familiarity with the sport, the skill and strength of roller derby pulls you in. It is impossible to resist cheering as your jammer breaks through the pack. Try not to flinch when your team knocks an apex jump out of the air. The more you learn about your league, the more fun you will have each game. BUT the only way to learn more is to actually go!
Calling it off! Photo by Phantom Photographics.
If you have been pushing off attending a roller derby bout, it’s time to get off of Facebook and head to the rink. Friends, excitement, and real social networks await you. Youtube offers some great fan tutorials, or wait until you get there and inquirein person. Spend some time at your local games. You’ll be cheering more than at a Marvel movie, you’ll get closer to the action than nosebleed seats at Lincoln Financial, and you will build relationships unlike anything else you have experienced before.
*Women’s Flat Track Derby Association
**Men’s Roller Derby Association
***Non-Skating Official
Support Khaos Theory by making a donation to the blog today:
Thunder City Derby Sirens Photo by Phantom Photographics
What makes us want to be on a roller derby team?
I’ve been thinking about this topic for months. Tried writing a blog a few weeks ago and I couldn’t actually translate my feels into a coherent written structure. I’m not talking, “Why do we love the sport?” or “Why do we join a league?” But rather, what drives us all to make a travel team? Or be drafted to a home team?
Before my home league’s travel team votes on the charter, each skater gets to talk about what they had to offer, and why they wanted to be a part of the team. It was interesting to hear the answers from those dropping their name in the hat for the all-stars versus the b team. There was quite the difference in theme of statement from one team to the other. I realized that those going for the the all-stars had a much different theme of answer than those wanting to be on our b-team. It got me thinking more and more about WHY we want to play on teams so badly.
If you ask a derby skater why they want to be on a team, the most common answer you’ll probably get is: “I want to play in bouts!” (Or do I call them games in the blog now?) **winky face**
They want to travel. They want to play other opponents. They want to prove themselves. Playing in bouts is a bit about the attention of everyone watching you, but should also be about the practical applications of skills and drills. Bouts are the place we test ourselves against an opponent to see if we have improved. I have been on many teams at this point, and I can say that being in a bout means different things based on the culture your team builds.
Tampa Roller Derby on our way to Texas for a weekend of the derbs.
Some teams value bouts strictly as ranking potential.
Some teams just want to enjoy the fun of the sport; including all that boutfitting, production shenanigans, and after parties offer up as they play against your family from a different city.
Some teams want to try out what they have been drilling in practice, to see how their strength and mobility have improved.
Some teams play bouts just to raise money in their home venue and have their friends and family come and watch them do the thing that they love.
Some teams work really well together on bout day, and everything is low stress and fun.
Some teams may work together, but tension runs so high that benches become explosive.
Maybe a team just has that one player that yells at refs or complains about calls, and because they’re a “superstar”, the behavior isn’t squashed. That behavior spreads to the rest of the team, and the bench becomes a 3 headed monster.
Maybe the bench coach is that one superstar yelling.
Or maybe everyone loves each other and the sport so much that everyone is just focused on the fun of the game.
I should mention that teams don’t always take the time to create a culture. Some are self-aware enough to create a mission statement of culture to promote and strive for. Most derby teams, I have seen, do not even understand that a culture has manifested through coaching habits, attendance enforcement, and superstar treatments. Sometimes an awesome derby culture of fun and support is born organically through individuals gathering for a common purpose. Too often, I have seen leagues succumb to the expectation that certain players get praise and playtime, and those players can do and say no wrong. Everyone else are plebeians and must fall in line and teach themselves.
If you just had an ‘ah-ha’ moment, recognizing that your team has not given itself a Culture Goal (or worse, you’re in one of those cancerous league situations!), maybe it’s time to sit with your steering committee and decide on some core values for the league and individual teams.
Molly Rogers line up against the Rolling Renegades of Sarasota. Photo by Phantom Photographics
Many cultures have this idea rooted into their core values without realizing it: “You will play bouts when you are on the travel team, and we do this to play in bouts.” So the skater immediately begins lobbying for a spot on the travel team, despite dedication. Despite training. Despite safety. Despite their willingness to play on a team. Endgame, we are taught, is: PLAY IN BOUTS.
I have a radical suggestion for you, Roller Derby:
You should not want to be on a team to play bouts. You should want to be on a team to practice roller derby.
Wait, what?
You should want to be on a team to PRACTICE roller derby.
What do I mean?
I mean we need to adjust our mindset.
Bouts are fun, yes. Bouts are what count towards our ranking, absolutely. Bouts are the culmination of our practice time and work together, yes. But it’s just 60 minutes on the clock.
I am not saying we should undervalue bouts, or want to play in them less. Rather, I think we all need to shift focus to being excited for practice time. Most of Roller Derby practices at least twice a week. You are spending far more time with your team in drill, skill, and endurance situations than you are in bout situations.
I do my best to not even worry when my next bout is, because my intensity does not change from practice to practice. I do not show up with different intentions or drive when I know a roster is being decided that night. Every practice is 110%. I pay for this time on the track, so I am going to love it and use it. If I am put on a roster, great! If I’m not, it’s OK because I have practice again Sunday night. I know I won’t be short on derby for the weekend.
Too often skaters put so high a priority on bout day that all they think about is making the roster. They show up just in time, and with just enough intensity to play in the bout. If we could shift the prevailing thought in roller derby to be less “BOUT DAY!!!” and more “PRACTICE DAY!!” think of how many people would value their drill time more? How much would attendance change?
Bout day is a priority because Roller Derby puts an emphasis on it.
To me it is just as fun and invigorating to stop Tazmaniac in a wall drill in practice, as it is to stop her in a bout day situation. Putting our focus on the awesome of practice means more excitement, which means more bodies, which means more opportunities for strategy and teamwork. Which will, unsurprisingly, lead to MORE SUCCESS ON BOUT DAY.
Slayor Moon Rojo Grande, Pup, and Splatypus ready for the Molly Rogers jammer. Photo by Phantom Photographics
When practice time is the center of attention, you can focus on goals as an individual and as a team mate. You can put your energy into what is being practiced instead of worrying about making the next roster.
When your focus is practice, not bout day, you think about your daily cross training differently, and with the mind of making practice better. You know you’re going to be doing five minute jams at practice on Monday, so what can you do on your off day, Saturday, to improve your conditioning for it? Thinking about that every week builds into months and then years of cross training, almost by accident!
When you focus on practice, you get to struggle and laugh with all of your team mates in all the different situations. You get to love the sport and the nuance of the sport.
When our focus is bout day, we get caught up in the spotlight of it. We get caught up in the pressure of performance, but when we focus on practice day, we are all Superstars, and egos are left at the door because no one is watching. When our focus is practice, we work hard for two hours at a time. If we can work hard for two hours, we can definitely work hard for our piece of 60 minutes.
Practice is the proving ground for bout day.
Practice is where we get to push ourselves and learn.
Practice is where we get to high five our family and celebrate victories.
Practice is where we get to tell our friends that bad days happen, and that one bad practice will not equate to a lifetime of failure in the sport.
Practice is where we get to put our head down and do work.
If your heart doesn’t beat with excitement when prepping for training (sometimes up to 5 in a week), why are you in the sport?
Glory should come from within. Achievement should be felt when doing something awesome with your team mates. This is no longer an individual sport. No longer should we put the spotlight on those who have talent, who don’t come to practice or fundraisers or do committee work.The spotlight should be on the weekly warriors who sweat with each other and create the bonds that only practice time can.
Practice IS our sport. I feel like the leagues that recognize and promote that in their culture, have the most success over the long term.
Stop counting down to bout day. Start counting down to Monday.
For coaching and nutrition help for all athletes, or to ask questions, propose blog ideas, or just give feedback, leave me a comment, or drop me a line at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com. I’m always booking league coaching for all levels.
Don’t forget to visit Phantom Photographics’ Facebook to purchase photos and ask him about his cool shirts.
Like my EAT BIG PLAY BIG notes, this is not going to be a verbatim dissertation of what we went over, but more the bullet points of things we talked about and maybe some WHYs involved. We talked about nutrition too, but because I have my notes posted from EBPB up and running, why don’t you just check them out and get the full picture of the athletic nutrition.
WHAT I MEAN BY LIFTING WEIGHTS
Big lifts – Build all over strength and power, utilizes the full bar
Barbells – Build stabilization muscles and helps support big lifts, small movements, and quick twitch.
Free Weights – Barbells and bars; your body must do the work to keep things in place
Plate/Smith Machine – Training wheels; no real accurate measure of weight. Some plate machines are useful (like the leg extension) but usually you can pass by these.
Cable Machines – The baby of free weights and plate-loaded; there is some stabilization work done here.
Free weights and cables should be used as your supplemental workouts. Like your vitamin and protein supplements, they are the extra stuff you do to support the mainline of work. They should not be your primary form of ‘weight lifting’. Mostly because you’re not really lifting weights when you do them.
WHY SHOULD YOU WEIGHT LIFT?
The easy answer is: Because you play a contact sport.
Gnat King Kill getting it done. Strength effects speed and control. It allows him to deal with fast skaters and bigger blockers.
Show me one contact sport that does not require their athletes to weight lift. If your coach tells you to do dry land drills, do you question? No. You question weight lifting because it’s different and new and super difficult. The resistance to lifting in roller derby is not because it’s not helpful or proven to advance skaters – it’s because it takes more effort to do it. And, honestly, it can be intimidating.
From the physics standpoint think of this reason why you should weight lift:
If you can only squat 130 pounds, that means you can only push that much weight (approximately) into your wheels. If you have someone who is 170 pounds hitting you, but you can only respond with 130 pounds – who is going to win?
This is a very basic, crude example, but hopefully you get the point.
Why bench press? I learned during Beat Me Halfway that if you have Magnum PIMP doing truck-and-trailer with you, your arms and core better be able to hold up to the resistance he’s giving you. If he then directs you into a full-speed Screecharound, your arms and body have to be able to deal with as much power as he’s putting into you to transfer to your skates, to transfer to Screecharound to take him all the way to the line.
Arm strength has just as much a place in derby as leg strength these days, as illustrated by the Mass Maelstrom blockers. Photo by Tyler Shaw – Prints Charming Derby Photography
PHYSICS!
(and also, I was so sore the next day)
If you can push a sled with 150 pounds on it, you can push through a link giving you 100 pounds of resistance.
WHAT IS CONDITIONING?
We talked a lot about lift days verse conditioning days.
Your lift days are just that. You’re picking up heavy weight. Your conditioning days involve cardio work, particularly HIIT. This is your tire flips, your hill runs, your wind sprints, your heavy plyometrics. If you do Crossfit, those WoDs should be your conditioning days … so the extra days. WoDs every day will not build your strength the way lift days will.
Myself and McJagged picked up heavy things and moved them around, jumped on walls, and moved around kettlebells for conditioning work
WHAT DOES THIS FEEL LIKE?
Like with derby, we have to adjust to a new feeling when we start weightlifting. If you’ve done plate machines in the past, then you are not used to what it feels like to have 180# on your back, or to pick up 200#.
It feels heavy. It feels miserable sometimes. It feels like you might hurt yourself. Just like it feels when you’re doing a new advanced skill on roller skates. Like those one foot “chomps” or one foot plows.. Picking your foot up and putting it down in front of you, with your toes turned in and your knees touching? That’s terrifying! I was sure I was going to break my leg. I didn’t. And you won’t break your shit just because it feels heavy.
It’s supposed to feel heavy. That’s the point.
DO I NEED SPECIAL GEAR?
Not necessarily.
I wear knee wraps because I can feel things shift around in my right knee when I squat and it’s weird and I don’t like it. With lighter weight, you don’t need belts, wraps, wrist grips. As you start lifting, talk to people around you about the gear they have. You’ll learn when you’ll need to get a belt, or if you want to get gloves.
Wear flat shoes or no shoes. Those weird toe shoes? They actually work really well for lifting. So do Chuck Taylors. So does nothing. Just like you wouldn’t buy Bonts for your first pair of skates, you shouldn’t go buy the special fit lifting shoes before you start lifting.
WHAT ARE THE LIFTS I SHOULD DO?
No questions asked you need to do:
Squat
Deadlift
Bench Press
Lifts that I think you should incorporate:
T-bar Row
Front Squat
Hack Squat
Incline Bench
Sumo Deadlifts (or Sumo/Russian)
Upright Row
Overhead Press
WHAT SUPPLEMENTAL LIFTS SHOULD I DO?
This one is tough. It depends on your programming. Ones that I make sure I incorporate:
Leg Extension
Glut-Ham Raise
Pull-Up
Hanging Leg Raise
Bent Over Row
Lat Pull Down
Seated Row
WAIT – HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TO DO?
Guess what? More reading for you!! What I recommend to EVERYONE is to pick up Mark Rippietoe’s “STARTING STRENGTH”. There is an app you can download called 5x5Stronglifts that will help you through the whole process.
Here’s the idea that I can pass on to you that I started with… 5×5. So you’re doing 3 lifts each day, 5 times, 5 reps. This does not include your 5 rep warm-up. When my plan was set for me, we did one lift for the upper body, one for the back, one for the legs.
I then did 1 or 2 supplemental lists each day (unless I was crazy spent). Getting someone to help you set up a training plan around your skating schedule is awesome. I had a couple people helping me along the way. And don’t be afraid to tweak your schedule as you progress. After your first four weeks, you should be in a routine, but before that it’s ok to move things around and figure out what works best for you!
Learn form on your own through the BUFF DUDES series. They’re really a great, short series of tutorials.
HOW DO I KNOW HOW MUCH TO LIFT?
Again, having a friend that knows lifting is helpful here. If you don’t, go to your gym and find the biggest dude or lady who is both strong in the upper and lower body (or ask someone at the desk of who to ask), and humbly request help.
Think of it this way: If someone came up to you at an open skate and said, “Hey you look like you know what you’re doing. I’m trying to get into roller derby, but I don’t know how to plow stop, can you watch me real quick to help me?” You’re not going to tell them to fuck off. Lifters feel the same way about their sport. I promise they’ll be nice to you.
Step one is to find your personal record (PR), also known as your one rep max (1RM).
Do not plan on doing your 5×5 during max days. You also shouldn’t try to max out multiple workouts for the same body part. For example, don’t try to max out back squat and front squat on the same day.
To max out, do your warm up weight (people can help you figure out what that would be… for me, my deadlift warm up has ALWAYS been 135#, and my squat started at 100#, bench was 45# … these are good starting points). Do 5 reps. Your buddy can help you go up in weight. Do 3 reps. Then up in weight and do 1 rep until you can’t move it. Boom. 1RM.
Plugging these maxes into your 5×5 Stronglift app will create a nice little “oh this is what I lift today” guide for you. You can contact me if you want something more specific.
You call it extreme, I call it “what it feels like 185# on my back”
SO I JUST LIFT FOREVER NOW?
Things can change up, but yes, now you just lift. In a 5×5 program, I do like incorporating a deload week either on week 5 or 6. A deload week is when you do your lifts, but at 50% of your max. It gives your body a chance to recoup.
When I first started this program, I was going up in weight for some of my lifts each week, not up for others. The stronglift app helps you with that.
Setting goals will help keep you focused and your training tight so that way you don’t get bored.
OTHER NOTES
You will plateau. You will have bad days at the bar. It happens. Just like derby. Sometimes you have enough sleep, you’re hydrated, you’ve eaten enough, and you just can’t squat the bar the way you did the week before. It’s ok. It happens. Seriously.
This can be new and can be scary. Just like derby. Don’t be put off from lifting by yourself because “You don’t want to hurt yourself”. There is just as much risk for injury in this sport as others. If you play derby, you know that you can have someone there with you, you can be in the process of being coached, and you can do one thing and still hurt yourself. Don’t fear injury for the sake of fearing injury.
You are probably not going parallel on your squats. If you have never squatted before, start with BOX SQUATS. Your new gym bro can find a good box for you. It should be low enough that when you sit on it, your legs create an angle lower than 90 degrees.
Your back is going to hurt. That’s because this will be the first time you’re fully using your back for a lift. All the time I hear “Oh man, my low back hurts! I must not be deadlifting right.” Or you’re deadlifting exactly right and you’re using muscles you never have before. Your back is going to hurt.
If your back is weak, your squats will suffer. “What?? But squats are a leg lift!” Yes, but the bar is on your back. So if you can’t support the bar, you can’t squat it. It’s possible that your squats may be lighter than what your legs can handle at first, because your back is not strong enough.
RECORD YOURSELF SO YOU CAN SELF-CRITIQUE AND GET NOTES FROM FRIENDS. It seems super narcissistic, but you can correct between sets sometimes! You can send the video to your friends from around the country and say “Hey is this parallel?” or “what am I doing wrong?”
When you’re lifting, EYES UP HIGH! Pick a spot towards the ceiling, look at it. Do not look side to side. Keep your weight on your heels, you should be able to wiggle your toes.
I think that’s about it!
Drop me a line if you want some extra help or have other questions about setting up your program. Your offseason program is going to be different than your in-season program, so I can help you with that stuff too. When in doubt, read books! 531, Beyond 531, and Starting Strength are the ones that have been recommended to me. Drop me a message at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com with questions or if you have anything you want me to address.
Two time MRDA champion, Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby is a collection of some of the most talented skaters in the world who also just happen to be phenomenal at roller derby. Disclaimer: I talk about roller derby pretty real at a couple points in this blog. This is not meant to make anyone #butthurt (as Elektra Q Tion would say), but if a blog about derby can’t say it, who can?
Your Mom is known for fast skating, and intense walls. When you watch them, they are not hard hitters – they don’t have to be. Their non-verbal communication and self-awareness is so sharp that if they rarely have to hit opponents to contain them. Their work is smooth and effortless. Hits are not short strikes, but rather elongated motion that carries the intended target out of bounds, or drives the target behind the blocker’s hips. Edges, edges, edges. Study it. Their bursts. Their control. Their awareness.
Against Mass Maelstrom at Spring Roll. Photo by DeFord Designs
Your Mom knows what you’re going to do before you know what you’re going to do. They aim for where you’re going, not where you are, and they rarely have to catch the jammer, because the jammer is so commonly ensnared in their net.
How do you know that their blockers are interchangeable and their rosters fluid beyond measure? Think about this: Who are their big hitters and which jammer has the best differential? Sure, Seahorses Forever and Sugar Boots stand out because of their height. Yes, everyone knows Frank NotsoHotra. Otherwise it is hard to picture any skaters that are exceedingly more important than the others. On every other team you can look at a line up and pick out ‘key pieces’. Sure, every team SAYS they don’t have any players that are more important than the rest, but we all know that’s not true.
Close the gap. Photo by DeFord Designs
Double Excel. Magnum PIMP. Jonathan R. Szabo. Dilly Dally. Speed Dealer. Cozmo Damage. Shreddy Mercury. Richard Gaudet. Wes Turn. Sutton Impact. Reaper. Keith Rucker. TJ Binkley. Are these the only players that matter on their teams? Absolutely not! Do you want to beat that their teams would be a tad concerned about overall performance if one or both of these skaters were missing from the line up? Yes, I honestly think so.
On Your Mom they don’t have to worry about it as much. No Cleveland Stever? You’ve Dirty Larry. No Tony Muse? You got Dante Muse. No B Stang? You got Rollomite. No Sugar Boots? You’ve got Seahorses Forever. No Lily Pad? You’ve got Suicide Snow Cone. You getting the idea? There is no one on the roster that Your Mom can’t respond to with a “But we’ve got these 5 people that CAN do it”. And they have up and coming skaters that they’re training so that the tradition of winning continues.
Frank Notsohotra – commonly referred to as “The fastest man in roller derby.” Photo by DeFord Designs
“But Khaos!” You say, “You can’t really appreciate Your Mom.” (giggle) “They fly in all their skaters!”
Untrue.
There are 3 remote skaters that I know of. And by “remote” I mean living more than 3 hours away. And even if there were more, so what? Charm City, Philly, and Tampa Bay Men’s (for example) all have skaters that travel upwards of 3 hours to play with their teams. Those skaters could play for Charlottesville, or Suburbia, or Brevard Area Men’s, but they have chosen a different league and has made a commitment to the league of their choice. It is a hobby, we don’t get paid, so why should anyone feel that they are not allowed to play with the league of their choice? Why do we not hear about the skaters that travel across state lines to be a part of PRG or CCRG or TBMRD?
Because they’re not world champions.
As soon as a team starts winning division titles (Oly) or champs (YMMRD), suddenly it’s an issue. Jack Hammer’d lives in South Carolina (everyone in the MRDA knows that he moved, so I’m not exactly revealing a scandal). He is here with Maelstrom this weekend. Why? Because he fulfilled the attendance requirements set forth by his league, and thus qualified to play at Champs with Mass Maelstrom. Here is your tiny bit of beeswax so that you can mind your own.
And guess what? We saw from the WFTDA championships in previous years that sheer talent doesn’t win titles, teamwork, and practice time does. Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby has teamwork, communication, and ‘synergy’ (that’s for you, Austintatious). That doesn’t come from a bunch of people randomly showing up on bout day and not ever practicing with one another.
Positional control. Photo by DeFord Designs
This weekend is going to be tough for teams to oust Your Mom as champions. Many of the men on the roster are very accustomed to a sticky hardwood floor like that of the Tacoma Armory. Several of the skaters were GLOWING at the opportunity to play Champs on such a surface.
Every team that faces Your Mom is going to have to bring the strongest walls, the ability to multitask, awareness like woah, and the endurance of a Champion.
Check out YOUR MOM (giggle) on Facebook to get continually information about them. They play Denton County Outlaws in the opening bout of the tournament at 9a PST on Saturday. Yes. That means in about 9 hours. Get some rest, and if you’re not in Tacoma check it out on WFTDA.tv! Thank you DeFord Designs for all the photos in this article. Hey Photogs! YMMRD needs more pictures taken of them next year. #JustSayin #BloggerinNeed
It’s almost here: The 2014 MRDA Championships. This week, skaters, officials, announcers, and fans will descend Tacoma, Washington for Maritime Mayhem, hosted by Puget Sound Outcast Derby. I figured that I should do a preview of the teams, like last year, to get us all amped up about the tournament. Coming in as the Eighth Seed is a new team (to the MRDA and the tournament): The Denton County Outlaws.
Fun fact: Denton County is debuting in the Top 8. A feat not easy now that there are so many member leagues. BOOM. Nice work, fellas.
I got to watch DCO play at Spring Roll this season. Truth be told, most of us watched their bouts because they (as well as the Cincinnatti Battering Rams and Southern Discomfort) were giant wild cards in the MRDA at that point. Most of us fans had not seen any of the teams play and we were curious at the showing they would make. Denton was of particular interest, since many of us had watched some of their vets play on Dallas Deception, Magic City Misfits, and Team USA previously.
DCO definitely came out swinging. They played the Carolina Wreckingballs (ranked 16th at that time) first. They came out with a definitive strength and speed that the Balls just couldn’t handle. Game 2 of Spring Roll brought them against a different kind of Wreckingball: the lads from London, Southern Discomfort.
Side Note: After the game against the Carolina Wreckingballs, the lady fans of the Balls decided that Denton won the “Team Sexy” award for 2014. “Bout Sexy” of Spring Roll went to the Denton County Outlaws v Southern Discomfort. (For those who have been reading my writing, you may recall that 2013’s SR winner was Bridgetown Menace v Mass Maelstrom.)
#SorryFortheAdmittedSexism
So Disco was able to [mostly] capture the jukes and ducks of DCO jammers (it was a blast watching Haterade give them a hard time though). The walls of Denton blockers just didn’t have the same experience as their competition, but it was a phenomenal bout. DCO only lost by 99 points (super impressive considering So Disco had lost to #4 Mass Maelstrom by only 53 points the night before). DCO rounded out their Spring Roll with a definitive win against the Canadian powerhouses on the Mont Royals.
You’re not seeing double. That’s Haterade and TJ Binkley showing off their Spring Roll MVP bandannas.
The Outlaws have only been together since March of 2012. They skate out of the House of Quad (just north of Dallas), and get to share the space with North Texas Derby Revolution and the Rolling Rebellions, a junior league. While they have picked up vet skaters, newbies to derby like Keith Rucker are making their mark on DCO. Vet TJ Binkley says:
“Keith is our under-rated jammer. He is a rink rat but fairly new to derby. [He] has some moves …that he shouldn’t be able to. The guy is fearless.”
When mid-season rankings came out, DCO was still unranked, since they had not played their 5 sanctioned MRDA bouts. The world of men’s derby (ok, maybe just me and a few other people who are rankings nerds) were waiting with baited breath to see how DCO did at the Arizona Rattleskates’ Southwest Sausage Fest.
At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
Why?
Well let’s talk rankings for a second. In the WFTDA there is a fancy new equation that helps the organization calculate rankings. In the MRDA they’re still doing things a little old school. So the member teams vote. That being said, if a team has established wins that calculate out properly, they tend to move upward. Here’s what we need to look at:
Southern Discomfort played 3 of the 4 top teams in the MRDA and lost to them, but … only lost to Maelstrom by 50 points (almost a tie in derby standards). Denton lost to So Disco by 99 points. DCO was slated to play Deep Valley Belligerents at SW Sausagefest. DVB was ranked #8 at mid-terms. Right. So if DCO could beat DVB, that would mean that they were better than the #8 ranking and since So Disco had beaten DCO by a larger margin, it would mean they were at least better than at least the 8 seed. (Ok, so maybe me and So Disco were waiting with baited breath for Sausagefest).
Sorry. Back to writing about derby now. //EndRankingNerdMoment
Everyone is looking for Lucky Charmer to cut… yea, he didn’t. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.As you may have figured out, DCO DID beat Deep Valley. The walls of DCO had strengthened since I watched them play at Spring Roll (through the magic of the interwebs, I got to watch the stream of Sausagefest). The walls were more fluid and worked as a unit to contain, play offense as they were playing defense (yay!), and kill penalties. Deep Valley simply couldn’t contain the DCO jammers. I wish I could give you stats on this one, but it seems that the stats package hasn’t been uploaded to FTS. Womp Womp. I will say that I particularly enjoy watching Lucky Charmer magically break through packs and Phillip Stout working with his team mates to destroy opponents.
Ladies and gentlemen: Phillip Stout at work. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
So let’s talk Champs. Denton is facing off in the first round against Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby. To say they’re the underdog is a bit of an understatement. Especially since one of their primary jammers, aforementioned Haterade, is out recovering from surgery. Binkley says the guys aren’t looking at their underdog status as a negative stance though:
“Our main goal is to have fun and learn from each game. We just want to the rest of MRDA that we belong here. Whatever place we finish in at the end of the tournament accomplishment since this is our first time being ranked. I know the DCO guys will soak everything in and come out of this tournament that much stronger. [Denton County is] extremely excited to be a part of the years champs. It’s every team’s goal to make it to champs. I’m just happy to see our goal come to life!”
Regardless of how this weekend turns out for Denton, you can be sure they are going to come out with fast feet, spins, hops, and powerful blocking.
Streaming information is forthcoming from the MRDA. Keep your eyes peeled on the MRDA Championship Facebook Event for up to date information. If you want to support the Denton County Outlaws, check out their Facebook Fundraiser page for merch!
Beards doing work! At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.
for your comfort at the game.)
, 
, 
![Everyone is looking for the cut [that didn't happen]. At Southwest Sausagefest. Photo by Jennifer Abdulla.](https://khaostheoryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/dento2.jpg)
Khaos Theory Derby 