The life and times of Merry Khaos and her alter-ego, Kristie Grey. A romp through the inner workings of a mind in roller derby athletics, training, and business management.
I’m a week into my adventure. There has been so much that has happened in the last week. There has been a lot of driving, a lot of Herbalife shakes, a lot of crashing at people’s houses.
So let me say that the first half of my adventure was a little bit more loosely planned than the second half. So I knew that there was going to be a little more, “Wait, what am I doing today??” at first. I’ve gotten a chance to meet a LOT of roller girls (and boys) in the last seven days. I need paparazzi so I can remember all the awesome things we’ve done!
Day #1: Atlantic Coast Roller Girls – Coaching
Day #2: Harm City Homicide (vs. PVRD’s Dirty Dozen) – Bench-coaching
Day #3: Harm City Homicide (vs. Mass Maelstrom) – Bench-coaching/Party at JBeast’s!
Day #4: Penn Jersey Bank Track – Practice
Day #5: Strong Island Derby Revolution – Coaching
Day #6: Red Bank Roller Vixens – Coaching
Day #7: Day off – evening at the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Skate Park!
Notes on Coaching Days:
Ok, so let me say that every single league has been amazing. Some leagues have gotten to see more of my “Snap to Attention” style of coaching than others (sorry, Strong Island!) but I am super proud of EVERY skater that took part in practices.
I work with smaller leagues. That’s my passion. I love helping skaters gain confidence when they are still rookie to intermediate level skaters. I love helping people improve their fundamentals and learn how to incorporate those fundamentals into game play. I love hearing skaters say, “I never thought of that!” or “I’ve never heard it broken down like that!” or “That makes so much sense!”
I love seeing skaters accomplish new skills and build the confidence to try old skills at a more advanced rate. Every single skater, by the end of practice, was stronger at SOME skill or had a better idea of how to deal with an on-track scenario. I also thinking the coaches and captains had a greater perspective of how to incorporate skills and ideas into practice. At least – that’s what I am telling myself!
I also have to say that I love hearing, “That was the hardest practice ever.”
Throughout my days coaching, I got to hang out with some awesome folks. The AC girls had a great perspective on their league since they came from a MADE rule set previously. For those of you in the southern PA area … I met a skater who, I swear, is the love child of Verbal Assault (independent ref) and Scruff (skater from Mason-Dixon). Yea. Think about that one, Friends!
Scruff + Verbal = Awesome.Strong Island Derby Revolution!Myself and Trinity of Strong Island
A note about Bench Coaching:
This was my first time bench coaching boys! I was so happy when Hittsburgh and Sin Diesel asked me to help the men of Harm City Homicide during their New England bouts. HCH knew they would be skating short for the weekend, and at the last minute, there was a family emergency for one of our skaters, so we competed with 9 guys.
We went into both games with a positive attitude and a strong sense of team. We were going to fight, regardless of the score. My job was to keep the guys calm and happy on the sidelines as I rotated in skaters who were less tired than the others.
The Dirty Dozen were a great team to skate against (I like that I also got to bench coach against my friends MikeOpathic and JBeast from Maelstrom!), and even though it was extremely hot and the floor was like ice after a while (Yay puddles of sweat) everyone seems to have had a really good time during the bout.
This was the first bout I’ve ever won as a bench coach! This was also the first time I ever got a chance to challenge a penalty (and I won!).
Sunday morning was a really, really tough bout for HCH. The Mass Maelstrom have played MANY hard competitions in the last few months. Though they don’t have many official wins this season, a 12 point loss to Shock Exchange at ECDX is nothing to scoff about. Their team work has been ever improving, their backwards blocking is intimidating and their ability to bridge backwards really is soul crushing.
Did we do well against them? No. We lost by over 500 points. Am I proud of the 12 points we scored? Hell yes. They fought and earned each one. We had one skater throw up, two others who I thought had seriously injured themselves. Almost all 9 guys wore the star at one point or another. There were a few fires to put out on the bench, but when sat down and told to ‘play nice’ or ‘shut the f*** up’ they listened. When I told them to breathe, they did.
Some of the guys thought I was a little nuts when I started sending out packs of jammers as blockers, but when you’re down hundreds of points, you want any advantage you can get. The agility of our jammers really showed when they were given a chance to block, and some of our blockers got a chance to shine with the star. Well…as much as they could. (Ogden totally got lead jammer over Jurasskick Park!)
Harm before the Dirty Dozen boutI didn’t get to eat much on my way up, so this was the “During the Bout” fuel for the Dirty DozenAgainst Mass Maelstrom the goal was to remain happy and animated on the bench. “Hey! I don’t care what you do, just do it as a team!”
A Note About Everything Else:
This has been awesome so far. Strong Island was a last minute booking that resulted in me crashing with my friend Mystery Violence Theatre in her Brooklyn digs. We skated together at Harrisburg, and it was awesome getting to catch up with her.
The chance to skate on the Bank Track with my Penn Jersey friends was fantastic. It was my first time taking part in one of their weekday practices, with their regular coaches (old school guys … the one dude’s roller skates may have been older than most of the skaters on the She Devils). It was a billion degrees in the warehouse, but the chance to bounce around the track and even get in some scrimmage time – was totally worth it.
I got a chance to visit FDR skate park a couple times as well and I am stoked to know that every time I go I am getting a little better and a little braver. My time yesterday involved a few bowls where I was actually able to get some height.
Yesterday I got to hang out with a group of skate boarders who were there – these guys have been riding for over 20 years. The one was from San Fran area, knows Cruz of Cruz Skate Shop, and was “glad there was derby girl to show off for.” (“Look at you, you’ve even got little shorts on and you’re not afraid to fall. Awesome.”) **SWOON**
What? I’m not proud. I’ll admit it.
While I was up in Massachusetts, I got to hang out at Brohalla with Rottie and Jack Hammer’d and the fabulous JBeast had a small pool party post-Maestrom bout that I got to attend. I am a fan of small gatherings so we can actually talk to each other, but I am sad that more of my buddies from the team didn’t make it out. Regardless, we had a great day of food, talking about Goldie’s allergies, drinking, convincing JBeast’s non-derby friends to start skating, attempts at one handed handstands and daredevils jumping from the roof to the pool, and beer pong (Jack and I were the team to beat). Overall, an excellent party (despite the hangover the next morning), and I was glad to have attended!
So what’s next?
For the next week and a half: more derby, more Herbalife, more skating and more amazing experiences. Tonight I will be making my way up to the Jerzey Derby Brigade for an open scrimmage. From there, I will travel back up to New England where I will have a table at the Mass Attack LADIES FIRST double header.
I will be hanging out with MikeO and WifeOpathic for most of the week, so that way I can strike out from their house to work with: Mass Attack, Worcester Roller Derby and Bay State. I will also be doing the Mass Maelstrom Co-Ed Scrimmage, there is the Herbalife Leadership Conference in Boston and possibly other coaching gigs while I’m up north. Then … one day and I’m off to ROLLERCON!!
The Skate ParkSkate park takeoverPost Skate Park
Brooklyn with Mystery Violence!
To get me there I am working with as many people on nutrition as possible in the next week – I’m taking Rollercon PRE-ORDERS and I want to help you get your nutrition straightened out to give you the edge you need in life or in athletics. Contact me at KGreyActiveNutrition@gmail.com to talk about your goals and get on your plan today.
If you think what I’m doing is amazing, guess what? You could do it too. Becoming a health coach allows you to choose your own vision for your business to make it into whatever you can dream up. Contact me and let’s get you started on an amazing business where you feel awesome every day because of fantastic nutrition.
Ruckus. A giant bunny who lives with Peter Rottentail (also known as Hasselmann, of Maelstrom)
It’s the first beautiful day here in Central Pennsylvania. You can tell that the plants were just primed for the weather because branches that were bear yesterday are damn near fully in bloom today! We have gone from 50 degrees as the daytime high to, today, 80.
Well I know that my body wasn’t ready for this –how about yours? I’m regretting letting my supply of Schizandra Plus terminate, because (for the girl who’s never gotten allergies) I think the pollen is putting me to sleep. So how do we combat the fog and the haze that comes over us when seasonal allergies start to get the best of us?
There are many theories and ideas, but here are a few I have seen help and have used myself.
Use local honey daily
No, I’m not joking. Find a farm near you that sells makes honey, go there, and buy some from them. Why does this work? Well… what is honey?
It’s pollen! It’s what you are allergic to in a different form! By building up your tolerance to pollen in small amounts over time, you can reduce (or eliminate) your seasonal allergies. Seriously. Plus honey is delicious and a much better sugar substitute than a chemical product like Splenda or Sweet n Low. Also, it’s a great way to support your local farmer.
Increase your water intake
You should be drinking half your body weight in ounces every day for regular hydration. If you find that you are still having energy drag and effects of seasonal allergies and you aren’t drinking at LEAST this much – get there! When in doubt, drink your body weight in ounces of water per day. (Throughout the day though, do it safely.)
Also – no, eating vegetables doesn’t count as part of your water intake. Stop trying to cheat it and just drink the water. If you are really having trouble with this concept, here is my challenge to you: Go buy 7 gallons of water and on each gallon write a day of the week. For the next 7 days, you will drink the water in the gallon for that day. Carry it with you. Love it.
Daddy’s Little Ghoul takes her ‘hell jug’ to work. The other EMTs and firefighters had some fun with it to support her.
Look at your vitamins intake
Are you taking all your vitamins in the morning? Are you getting vitamin c? How about your electrolytes?
There are a lot of pieces to the vitamin and health puzzle – and if you’re not getting all your vitamins constantly in your day, this could be a major issue. A multivitamin in the morning is going to run through your system and leave your body needing more. Take vitamins designed to be used three times a day. Get other sources of vitamin C, vitamin E and antioxidants. Incorporate Quercetin-rich foods to help as well. (Some examples? HONEY, blueberries, kale, cranberry, sweet potato, red onion)
Electrolytes help keep your body hydrated. Without them, even if you’re drinking water, your body may not be able to put that water to good use. I (personally) use the Herbalife Hydrate to get my electrolytes daily. Putting THAT in your water DOES count towards your gallon a day.
Do 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise once day
It doesn’t have to be anything insane. I’m not saying go run a 5k each day. I’m saying get up and move around! Sometimes seasonal allergies get to us simply because our body is not processing everything very well. If the blood is moving, things are healing. If the blood is moving, adrenaline is being created (and adrenaline is one of the BEST cures for all things wrong in the body). Besides – it’s nice out!! Go for a walk, a jog, a bike ride or go play soccer with your kids for a while.
Sweating is a way that body cleanses itself too, so go get a workout in! Your whole self will be thankful later.
Eat more consistently & healthier
Just like with working out, if your metabolism isn’t running than your blood isn’t circulating as well. You want to do everything you can to make it easy for your heart to do its job. When the blood flows, the body can heal. Also, giving it the good foods it needs to function is critical. Avoid fast foods, fried foods, overly processed foods. Stick to protein, veggies, fruits, good fats (like in olives and avocados).
The body is an intuitive machine. It can detect when something is wrong and if you are giving the tools to fight an enemy, it will destroy all that opposes it. Your body can be like Gandalf and your seasonal allergies and lethargy will be like a Balrog that has felt your strength!
Yea. Kind of like that. You’ll be smoting your enemy upon the mountainside in NO TIME
Detox
Ok, everyone has a different image in their head for a “detox”. Sometimes it can be a cleanse, sometimes it can be changing to all organic. The idea behind this detox is simply giving your body shots of powerful doses of antioxidants and cleansing agents. Like 2-3 oz of wheat grass. 2-3 oz of apple cider vinegar. Juicing carrots, beets, alfalfa, apricots, pumpkins, sweet potato .. they can all help with boosting your immune system, washing out toxins and getting your body healthy enough to deal with the invasion of seasonal allergies.
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Khaos Theory Derby 