elite – Khaos Theory Derby

Review: RD Elite Travel Bag

So I just got back from a magical 5 week romp around part of the world. Along the way I acquired some new stuff, and I also got to really put some other stuff to the test. I decided to review them all in separate blogs now that I’ve gotten back. In this issue: Roller Derby Elite’s new skate bag.

THANK THE DERBY GODS FOR THIS BAG.

Seriously, Tony Muse is awesome at designing skates, but I believe his true talent lies in designing luggage.

Ok, so I am tentative to post this review first because I don’t want the world going, “Of course she loves it, they’re her sponsor.” It’s not why I love this bag. I will tell you why I will not need or desire another gear bag ever. This is a two-part bag (as are many), where your backpack and rolling bag zip together. But this is OH so much more.

15401262_10157848911160494_1966136847_n — Yes, it’s waterproof (I knew I’d be in Manchester, waterproof is necessary). Yes, it still is easy to sew on patches! Super handy when I was at MRDA champs and everyone had one. I could easily discern mine!

Spaciousness

I tested the backpack previously for space. It was able to hold: Size 6 skates, 187 pro knee pads, 187 elbow pads, Atom Wrist guards, my ACL DonJoy brace, full water bottle, mouth guard, 8 wheels, 8 helmet hats, 2 scrimmage shirts, shaker cup, extra shake container, and the little extra things I carry like re-wetting drops and chap stick. I clipped the helmet on the outside of the bag, and rode my bike 16 miles. The backpack clips across your chest, and the clip slides up and down, so you can adjust it to sit wherever is most comfortable on YOU. Note: while abroad, I added in ArmourFlex shin guards, and Steaks padded shorts/tank and it still fit comfortably.

The bag holds up to size 12 skates comfortably, though I personally prefer using my Skate Noose when utilizing my backpack as my gear bag, so I can put my helmet INSIDE the bag and not scuff it up. The helmet does swing a bit when attached to the outside, but that’s physics for you. If you clip your helmet through the loop with the shorter side through first, and the longer side coming over top, you can pull the longer piece through and the helmet will sit more flush to the bag.

15319540_10157848911455494_2080378009_n — ALL THE STUFF

The backpack has a separation in the largest compartment so you can put a laptop in safely. It has several separations in the smaller pocket, including a zippered pocket that was great for keeping my passport and cash in. All the separate parts are waterproof too, and overall the bag seemed really resistant to stank (throughout the trip I flip flopped between the backpack as gear storage and a regular clothes storage).

The rolling bag will hold any size skate comfortably plus gear, plus multiple braces, plus helmet. The rolling bag also has a handy wheel section on it so you don’t have to throw your wheels and bearings all willy-nilly into your gear bag. Or if you don’t want to keep wheels in it, store your extras. Honestly, it was my eye drops/tools/cash/tampon/whistle pocket while I was away.

Both bags individually fit as carry-on baggage on airplanes, though if you’re in Europe, do not overstuff the backpack. I got guff from a British Airline security lady because she thought I “brought way too much” in my backpack. I showed her that my backpack squished down really nicely into the bin sizing thingy and she reluctantly agreed. She was not happy about my skate noose, but everyone else in security oo’d and aah’d over my pretty new skates.

Durability

I gotta be honest, I wasn’t sure how this bag was going to hold up. Not every part of the world I was going to was involving smooth surfaces. Den Haag and Lincolnshire were particularly cobblestoney, and Manchester was just a perpetual puddle. I decided that since I had the option of a checked bag, I was going to take advantage:

Enter the beautiful option to zip the bag together!

Now, with other bags, I have seen a lot of strain on the zipper when stuff is in the backpack and attached to the rolling bag. I was worried about that with this one, since it is very obviously front heavy when the backpack is attached. That said, because of how close the zipper is to the ground, and how the backpack is designed, there is actually not much pressure on the zipper at all. When you rest, the backpack takes the brunt of the weight of the bag, instead of the zipper being a force to keep the backpack in the air. The bottom of the backpack could use a little rubber coating, just to guarantee it won’t scuff or rip, but the bottom is really durable already. I have no tears, no wear and tear from it resting in the airport or on buses.

The zipped and stuffed bag didn’t just survive cargo holds on four different airplanes, it looks damn near close to new regardless. There was a little strain on the zipper in the lower right hand corner of the backpack attachment when everything was stuffed in there, but I found that once I unloaded and reattached, the zipper was back to normal.

Convenience

Aside from the convenience of all the big storage, there’s a ton of little pockets everywhere on the backpack. The outside flap has a ‘tools’ slot, which was another prime place for easy access to credit card and identification while I was traveling. The front of the bag has two pockets, and the smaller one has headphone access. Admittedly, I never used it for that. The pocket itself is too small for my iPhone 5, but could be the right size for MP3 sticks, or other cells. I used it for chap stick, my portable battery, and to hold my headphones and USB cable. The second front pocket was large enough for my mouth guard case, finger whistle, and some random odds and ends.

There’s also a mesh water bottle holder on the side of the backpack that saved my life. My 32oz Nalgene fit PERFECTLY in it. I was worried about it stretching and tearing when the water bottle was in it, but the mesh is in good condition. The top of my water bottle had its attachment tear off (so the lid no longer attaches), and there’s a couple sharp bits of plastic that did a little bit of damage to the mesh, but I consider that a special scenario. It never caught on things while stretched taut.

The smaller, front pocket has an added bonus: the sides unzip so you can reach into the depths (which does have a tendency to eat small items) more easily! Often I would put my my eye drops or headbands into the deep pocket, and then when I needed to fish something out, I’d take down one of the side zippers for better access. SO NICE.

The wheel bag, when filled, provided a small shelf on the rolling bag, so I could wear my backpack, roll my bag, and keep another large handle bag (one of those enormous RollerCon bags from a couple years ago) on top of the rolling bag. It ended up looking cumbersome, but being quite easy to manage. Couple that with the fact that the bottom of the bag has a little handle that helps with balancing it when standing, but also with hoisting the thing (particularly when the backpack is attached), and you’ve got a great multipurpose travel bag.

The rolling bag also has a front that unzips to reveal two layers of mesh. You can unzip the front completely to vent your gear (or partially as I did sometimes while traveling). You can also keep things in between the two layers of mesh! I find it a good spot for helmet hats, spare Herbalife Liftoff and Hydrate packets, or bandanas. The mesh keeps it all just a little bit separated to give everything air to breathe. Again, the bag has been really resilient to maintaining stink.

15310335_10157848917680494_1601115621_n — The second layer of mesh unzips for easy access to your gear if you need to grab something without messing up your packing genius.

In conclusion, while there are little things that I would like to improve (like a more convenient spot for a cell phone/headphone combo), I am in love with this bag. The comfort level is high up as well. The outside is durable, but woven in a way that it’s comfortable. I am a huge fan of backpacks that include a strap across the front to help distribute weight. Not only does this bag have one, but the height is adjustable! I didn’t discover that until halfway through my trip, but once I did my world changed! I didn’t have to adjust the tightness of the arm straps in order to shift where the clip sat (which, as a woman, can sometimes be placed in awkward and uncomfortable spots).

The bag retails for around $100 USD. You can find the bags from Wicked Skatewear, Bruised Boutique, and Sckr Punch (they’re not on the website, but call them up they have them). Buy from derby-owned shops!! Support our community!! Make sure you like Roller Derby Elite Series on Facebook, and follow Elite on Twitter @RDEliteSkates.

roller derby elite bag skates — Starting my adventure, waiting for my plane out of Dallas. What an adventure, and I’m super glad I had my Elite bag in time for the trip!

Khaos Theory Blog is run completely off my own funds. Make a donation now to keep the blog going!

Kristie Grey (Merry Khaos) has been playing roller derby since 2009 and has coached almost as long. She has worked with over 20 leagues in 11 states, and five countries. She has coached on and off skates at Beat Me Halfway 2014 & RollerCon (2012-2015). She currently skates with Tampa Roller Derby. Active in health and wellness, she is an active Herbalife Health Coach, rock climber, and power lifter. For questions, booking, requests of topic, or help with a nutrition plan, message Khaos at DerbyAmerica@gmail.com

Continue reading “Review: RD Elite Travel Bag” →

All Star, General, Uncategorized

Derby Lessons from the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup

I recently got home from my latest gypsy romp in the world of roller derby, starting in Calgary, Alberta and ending in the grand Las Vegas derby mecca of RollerCon. I watched, I studied, I contemplated, I watched again. Not only did I learn a lot through watching the elite athletes from 20 nations, but it hit me in the derby feels. There was more than just tactic and technique I saw, and after a few weeks to let it all settle, I wanted to share with you all things I realized through the adventure in Calgary. Editing note: Please excuse formatting inconsistency. WordPress continues to be the worst platform in which to write and create. 😀

13737581_1864110037155494_5609196164540360889_o — Fans during Finland v. England. Photo by John Hesse

Here are my take aways from the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup in Calgary, Alberta:

Bashing the snot out of each other on the track isn’t always the most effective derby strategy – unless you can mix in control… then it’s highly successful

Germany, Argentina, Mexico, Finland, Italy – they are bruisers. They are teams with hard hits and fast feet. Their blockers will leave welts the size of a softball with ease. They play the “let’s kick their ass” game. Teams like USA, Canada, England, Scotland, Belgium are just as brutal and imposing, but there is a game play different: they beat their opponents to a slower speed and then catch them in a net of positional blocking. The successful teams at the World Cup were able to balance brutality and control.

Just trying to beat a jammer senseless alone often has the undesired result of pushing them forward and through the pack like a pinball. I watched many jammers face (what I call) a turnstile of blockers facing backwards. The blockers would, one at a time, take a ding at the jammer, who would rebound off the hit, regain their feet, collect the point and move onto the next. It wasn’t successful at stopping them, merely bounced them about a bit.

USA MRDA — Team USA is successful through their use of power to slow a target, and then controlled blocking to maintain power, as demonstrated by Percy Controll and Cory Pain

From a jammer perspective, the skaters who were able to use their shoulders like jack hammers to bully their way through a wall, around an edge, or to level a backwards blocker were the ones who scored a lot of points. AS LONG AS they had the footwork to capitalize on the hole. I would see jammers come in hot to a pack and use their shoulders to drill a hole, or duck to get around a pack, but without the proper burst to get past the blockers, they would end up as a smear on the concrete.

Ireland Japan — Noblet comes in hot and uses his shoulders and power to push out the Japanese blocker. Photo by Brangwyn Jones

Offense is a thing

If anyone from Puerto Rico or the Netherlands are reading this they’ll flash back to me LOSING MY MIND during NO-ffense. When blockers watch their jammers get beat to hell on power jams it makes me very protective of those jammers. Yes, sometimes they need to do it for themselves, but sometimes you need to stop the tough love thing and HELP. You have 30ish seconds with which to score as many points as humanly possible. “Blockers make points, jammers collect them.” (Smarty Pants) So go make some goddamn points!!!

Plus, you only have so many jammers. Protect them like they are delicate lilies; whether it’s day 1 of a 4 day tournament or the 7th and last game of the weekend.

Americans are super lucky that the rest of the world speaks multiple languages.

So many times I had people come to the Elite booth that were from Europe (and not England) and they spoke fluent English. Actually, most of the teams were made up of people who spoke multiple languages. Every now and again I’d have someone come up who was not English speaker, and I felt dumb and lost. Dammit, Americans: Teach your kids multiple languages! I have made so many friends from the World Cup because they happen to speak my language.

netherlands, mrda — Myself and my new friends from The Netherlands (from left): YouPiler, Slaapzack, and Lone Star. Thank goodness the Dutch speak so many languages!!

Champ UnKind and I agree: Uptown Funk should be played during every half time

Why? Having to do with #3, dancing breaks borders. There is nothing more phenomenal than a Sunday morning early bout and seeing participants from the Netherlands, Spain, and Puerto Rico grooving together. Hell, maybe if Uptown Funk was played in the streets we’d all love each other more because we’d see that we’re all the same. And we just wanna dance.

Want to see why? Check out the short video I shot. Nice moves, Spain!

After hours, don’t trust the shirts on the backs of MRDA players

I kind of knew this already, but after several “Oops I’m an asshole” moments [that I was able to play off (thank you, white wine)] I learned to ask this question first: “Are you actually Flustercluck or is your jersey lying?”

Honestly, I love the tradition of swapping jerseys! It shows community and camaraderie that stretches across oceans. I kind of wish WFTDA skaters did this. A few of the men I talked to were confused as to why we don’t. Maybe we’re too protective over our kits. It’s a thing of pride and friendship to swap out at the end of a hard tournament with someone you respect. But yea, always ask if the person in the jersey is the one whose name is on the back.

13902572_10102970106973798_7541232321255404802_n — Disaster Chief (Puerto Rico) and Jamie Gray (Ireland) are lying to you.

THE KEY TO SURVING THE LAVA AS A JAMMER….

Ok, so my big Sherlock mystery from this weekend has been this question: “Why are some jammers so successful taking outside lines, while others get splattered when they try to do [what seems to be] the same technique?”

As I have been re-watching games, I have spent most of my energy looking into this. The jammers of Team England, particularly Sully, Fish, Alien Al, and Giggity all were able to attack the lava (the absolute edge of the track/tape) and come out on the other side often unscathed. Meanwhile, teams like Italy and Japan had jammers that would attack in a similar style and get constantly recycled.

alien al team england — Alien Al, yet again navigating the edges successfully; without heed to opponents or physics. Photo by John Hesse

The first thing I noticed as a difference is the acceleration going past engaging blockers. Team England jammers are excellent at bursting with speed a split second before passing opponents, which throws off the blocker’s timing. To achieve this, more pressure most be applied into a toe stop or edges as the blocker you’re attempting to pass is ALMOST hitting you. The chance of survival increases significantly when the burst is timed so, while other jammers would get flattened for their hesitation.

The second part that I noticed (and it was Finland that helped me realize), is that many jammers turn their hips to open into a transition a moment too soon. The result is that they are trying to get past a blocker either A) after they have completed their turn, so their hips are a wider target to the incoming blocker or B) After the momentum from the torque of their initial turn has been lost, so the jammer does not have enough energy to counterblock the energy being put into them by the blocker.

team england MRDA — Sully turns his hips to curve around the Finland blocker and (what photos can’t show you), pops off of the planted to stop to snap his hips around the wall before they can push him out. Photo by John Hesse

Ok, let me say that again:

If you turn too early, your hips are going to be square to the track and you’ll be skating in the opposite direction, when you are hit. OR if you turn too early, you will have lost extra energy you gain while spinning. When you are driving, and you make a sudden, sharp turn you feel the inertia playing on your body, right? You feel more force driving you, don’t you? (Protip: It’s not centrifugal that’s a made up word). That’s angular acceleration, and you want more of that happening when Optimus Grime is coming at you full force with dreams of Gold shining in his eyes. Want to know more about the physics I’m talking about? Just go watch this video.

When you watch game play these are minuscule adjustments. I can only guess that the timing change comes through diligence, IMMENSE body control, brevity, and a squad of mercenaries to practice against. Rolling off a hit from Sutton Impact hurts a lot less than taking it square in the ribs, so your body learns and adapts.

^ It may seem to you a basic realization, but finally seeing it with my own eyes made a world of difference. Now to practice it………

France men's roller derby — Poupa Test of France hits his toe stops hard before shuffling further. Photo by Orel Kichigai

International superstars don’t mean everything to a team

Who wasn’t dazzled by Sausarge Rolls, Bled Zepplin, Reaper, Pibe, or Tank? These are men known on the international stage. There were plenty of derby celebs dancing around at World Cup, infamous for their strength, smarts, and prowess. However, there were also a lot of teams with names unknown that pulled together when the time was right and stunned us all.

Mexico came out with skates blazing against Canada, causing everyone to rush to track 2 to see what was going on. Chile, after a hard time in their group play, stunned us all by beating Spain by double. Puerto Rico’s final game involved coming back from a 50 point difference, and holding the game to an 8 point differential at the end, even as 4 of their ‘star’ players fouled out from the game. It was awe-inspiring to watch a pack of 5 people who had barely known each other before the weekend, a few of whom had barely played entire derby bouts in their life, come together into strong defense and rally to keep Italy on their toes and out of bounds.

Team Chile Men's Roller Derby — Team Chile making a diamond against Team England. Don’t underestimate the ‘little guys’. Photo by John Hesse

Wales, Ireland, Scotland, Belgium all played tremendous derby throughout the weekend. Some names rang familiar, but the world now has solid memory of skaters previously unknown to them. These teams came in without huge superstars, and played well together, and did amazing things on the track. They created new derby celebs in the likes of Ashby, Lt Damn, Optimus Grime, Track Vadar, Jones, Skate Plissken, Roche, and Trick or Threat. Ok and please know there are a TON more skaters that I want to recognize, but I don’t want this to become a blog of names ❤

The point is this: yes, having tried and true players on your team is awesome, but don't get hung up on them. I've seen too many teams panic when their star player can't make it to a game, or gets injured. Every single one of us can do amazing things when we pull together with our squad and work as a team. Don't undervalue 'the little guys' in your league. Lift them up and expect the best out of them, and they will give it.

“You can either yell about the call or play derby. I suggest you play derby.”

I had to say/yell this at least 12 times during the Cup. Ok we all get peeved on rules stuff. We all see things happen or [not] get called that makes us go “DAFAQ REFS?” however when you’re in the middle of a jam, that is not the right time to stop what you’re doing to throw your hands in the air in disgust. Play the game. Control what you can control. You standing in the middle of the track signaling for a forearm penalty is not going to put the ref in the position to have seen it 5 seconds ago. Move on. Skate hard.

puerto rico — Really, Disaster Chief? France isn’t going to take it easier on you! 😀 Photo by Orel Kichigai

ONE HAND IS EVERYTHING

Dear folks who have mastered the ‘one hand out of bounds’ thing: TEACH ME YOUR GODDAMN JEDI WAYS. I know that a ton of folks have used this since the clarification came out. I was impressed by how many jammers got knocked backwards, caught themselves with one hand VERY out of bounds, only to regain their skates after the blocker had triumphantly removed themself from the ENTIRE PACK thinking a cut was imminent. The jammer, meanwhile, skates forward to freedom. I think Rollomite had the move patented by the end of the weekend.

WORK ON BALANCE PEOPLE! And back bridges apparently…

Even if you don’t leave with a medal, you still win at the World Cup

The amount of stories of pride I’ve heard during the event and since brings tears to my eyes. The people who have met new friends, taken on derby legends, and scored little victories with a team of their nation is remarkable. The officials, photogs, announcers, vendors, EMTs, volunteers are not left unaffected. To watch Japan get their first win, to watch Argentina who were the little guys of 2014 finish 6^th, witnessing Mexico coming out of the gate with something to prove, to see Australia unseat Canada on the podium, to see England give the USA a run for their money, to witness all the apex jumps, tremendous blocks, and incredible timing, to be in the room when so many proposals happened … it leaves a mark on you. Every person who was a part of the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup in Calgary, Alberta will have friends around the world for the rest of their lives. We took care of each other, cheered, danced, had our hearts broken, and triumphed as one.

If there’s anything I regret about the World Cup is that I couldn’t be on both tracks all the time, and there are some teams I didn’t get to watch as much as others. But that’s ok! 2018 isn’t far away. You should go like the Men’s Roller Derby World Cup on Facebook, and maybe host the next one…..

Anita of the Netherlands. The face says it all. Photo by Brangwyn Jones

Thank you Chinook City Roller Derby. Thank you Roller Derby Elite. Thank you nations of the world. Thank you roller derby for being the best thing that has ever entered my life. It’s hard to believe that my World Cup experience was followed up by as equally of humbling of a RollerCon experience… but I think I’ll save that for another blog.

13737604_1863135813919583_1171667504737893875_o — Team Belgium during opening ceremonies just one of many teams super stoked to be there! Photo by John Hesse

Thank you to the photogs that let me use their work in this blog! Go visit Brangwyn Jones, Orel Kichigai, and John Hesse!!

13691008_1865008660398965_1513785178444468780_o — Canada was a fantastic host during the MRDWC, eh? Photo by John Hesse

Khaos Theory Blog is run completely off my own funds. Make a donation now to keep the blog going!

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